Hear me Roar

Beware beware of the words I twist I am small but my reach is long  And the ravens black against the winter's mist Are whispering the half-man's song (Semi-selective Indie rp blog for the Asoiaf/GoT character Tyrion Lannister )

[thoranda]

70 favorite moments of GoT season 7: [36/70]

He’s King in the North.

[impervious-wit]

As to people wishing to drop threads with me, that’s ok, I understand. I won’t take it personally if you wish to avoid all the drama. I am in my IMs if you just want to talk or ask questions.

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As to the accusal

So I wasn’t made aware of this at all and just had to read all of this through reblogs from other people. Not that people will actually care to listen to what i have to say but I do think I deserve to share my version of the story.

Yes, I did have some sexual roleplay with qceenmother. We first started just roleplaying (I imagine this to be a year ago already or more) and talked at the side. We did talk about all sorts of stuff and the conversation did go into a sexual direction. We later went to skype and had experiences there on and off cam.

I did talk to her about personal stuff in my life as she did about hers. I had no idea how deep previous experiences had hurt her, however she did tell me about being thrown under the bus at the time by someone else. I never knew to which extent.

I cared for her, I still do and hope she will be happy and fine. I am deeply hurt by this story, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Never had she indicated she didn’t want to do things, if she’d done so, I swear I wouldn’t have done a thing. I wish I had known because I did wish to talk to her about personal stuff that bothered her, I wanted to be there for her.

As to the part involving my ex-girlfriend, I won’t deny that we did that once. I feel incredibly sad thinking she didn’t want to do any of the stuff we did because at the time, she seemed to like it. I won’t tell you what she felt or truly thought, I cannot say that. All I can say is she never talked to me about not wanting it, wanting out or being uncomfortable by it.

I feel sorry that she felt like this, because she deserves better and I am angry at myself because I should’ve noticed how she felt. I should’ve seen there were more issues but she never said anything. As someone who has many friends who have been through some bad sexual experiences and shit in life, I am disgusted by the idea this is how qceenmother feels. I just wish she would’ve talked to me.

Indeed, we stopped talking after a while which I was sad about. She is genuinely a nice person and a great roleplayer with a muse you don’t see too often. 

Many of you won’t believe me and brand me as a sexual predator nonetheless even though I didn’t know she felt this way and she never spoke up about it. I can’t do anything about what has happened in the past, I can only be saddened about losing a friend. I wish her the best and hope this clears up some things.

Again, short repeat. I did not force her to do anything. I did not know how bad the past had treated her, though I had an inkling not everything was okay. I very much regret things ended like this. If she had talked to me and told me how she felt or just said no, (many of you know this) I would respect that and talk to her about it, asking her how she felt and what was going on.

It is your right to unfollow me, to hate me or not like me. However, it is not your right to harass me about this or start a witch hunt before getting both sides their explanations. Even now, if she wished to talk, I would still listen and I wouldn’t hate her. If she feels this way, those feelings are real and should be addressed.

I’m open to talk to people if they want conversations but I won’t stand for being persecuted when not all the story is out.

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“It’s rather late and I should let you catch some sleep.” A part of him wanted to be there to comfort her, to be there whilst she showed her vulnerability but she was just a young girl missing her father. He could not help in any way but by giving her the privacy to do so.

“Perhaps I should go for a minute so you can get changed and settled into bed...” He muttered, emptying his own glass. “Besides, somebody has to finish this bottle.”

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The king had been quite beloved and his abscence hurt the kingdom and the court yet nobody seemed to think about how his daughter felt. He couldn’t replace her father but during the king’s mission abroad, Tyrion could at least provide advice and a listening ear to the princess.

“I know, mylady...” he muttered softly, squeezing her shoulder a bit. He hadn’t met the King many times but he’d seemed like a funny but fair man, just to a fault. The court felt a lot more cold and hostile without him.

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His words didn’t suggest all too much but it was rather the lack on information given that steered towards conclusions Tyrion made out of the man’s testimony. Perhaps he could try to force the issue at the risk of losing Mycroft but there was much more to do so he’d place that idea somewhere on a lower priority in his schedule.

“Your mother is more emotional but she too doesn’t talk too much about it? As for Sherlock being her favourite, what makes you think so? Do you think parents should have favourites among their offspring?”

A tad more aggressive an approach but it could place Mycroft in a different perspective, looking at his family from a third-person angle. Tyrion could not provide the answers at this point but only gauge the situation, get Mycroft to trust him and pose questions to open doors for future use.

Taking a sip of tea, he carefully considered the reputation Sherlock had and tried to place that in a family setting. Perhaps indeed, a recipe for disaster? Or merely a product of earlier issues?

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Trying to keep strong, her efforts moved Tyrion. Slowly he stood up, taking a blanket from the nearby couch and wrapping it around her. “You’ll sleep in my bed, I’ll sleep on the couch. No room for discussion on that...”

Knowing how hard it could be to keep up appearances at that point, he respected her need to keep him out a little bit, wishing not to completely break down. “It’s okay,” he whispered, gently placing a hand on her shoulder.

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As she asked, he nearly choked in his wine, coughing the remains out little by little. “Mylady, the implications alone should people get wind about this? Not to mention how indecent it would be on my part to accept that proposition!”

Of course he wished to help her and he’d gladly let her stay but he had to remember his position as a lord and as her servant in the matter. “As much as I wish I could... Mylady, I could not take the risk towards your reputation here at court!”

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The conversation went into a direction he very much wished to avoid. His hid his frowning look behind the mug, drinking slowly from it to win himself some time. Quietly he murmured his reponse. “I’ve long accepted what has happened in the past and whatever I had to do with it. Better to leave such things where they belong. In the past.”

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A slight blush appeared on his cheeks, not expecting her remarks. “I’m a hideous dwarf from a smaller family, mylady. Surely there are more suitable husbands out there worth your time. I heavily appreciate your compliments though I could never accept them.”

It was a touchy subject for him, one he felt should quickly change considering he was on dangerous territory should anybody hear them.

[impervious-wit]

The question didn’t surprise him but did feel somewhat awkward to answer. “I’m a dwarf lord from a minor Lordship whose family hates him with every fibre in their body. I can assure you, I’m not a winner in the marriage category.”

A little smirk crept on his face yet the truth did still sting. “And you’d be surprised how many men could use a more dominant wife...”

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“You could always ask the maids, the know these kind of things. Perhapse we can track him down.” he joked, offering a little wink. “And being too feisty isn’t too bad a thing. All you need is to find a man who doesn’t try to ride you but rather walk alongside you.” He snickered for a moment since it almost seemed like he compared her to a mara but sometimes she did have a temperament matching one.

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“I never thought you had it in you! I do hope indeed the knight had pure intentions and didn’t suffer any consequences!” He left out a jolly chuckle as he poured the both of them some more wine, enjoying the smooth taste of the red flowing on his tongue. 

“And since then, no other lovers have been able to woo the beautiful princess, I assume?” he muttered behind his cup, grinning widely. “I’m sure your father would be furious if the opposite turned out to be true. But my lips remain sealed!”

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Aside from the bolsterous, more erotic stories he’d tell his female companions from time to time (with dubious intentions), he thought to tell some more funny stories.  “My father was never really fond of me due to my mother dying giving birth and my figure, being a dwarf and such. Throughout my life, my siblings and my father have always been less than... Loving towards me. Part of my lord father’s punishment was to make me the Lord of all drains and sewages in the castle. Little did he know that I took my task seriously and during my time as Lord of the Sewage, it had never flowed before smoother to the sea, much to the dislike of my Lord Father. I still know those sewers and mazes like the back of my hand.”

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There was much more he’d wished to tell the young princess, to make sure she didn’t put her expectations up too high. Of course, it was naive and all stemmed from a beautiful belief in the good of people, wishing to do well but some things were not plausible to do, but he had time to teach her... He decided to drop the matter and just smile at his young companion.

“Then what is it you wish to discuss?” he mused, taking a nothing swig of his wine.

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This princess was full of young ideology, to a point naive one might add but the world needed these kind of dreamers. “The world isn’t fair... The majority will be poor and a minority will be rich. The richer will get richer, having all the luxuries, rights and resources in the world whilst the poor have to do with scraps and oppression. This will never change because it is part of human nature.”

His tone took a dark turn, realizing that he too had to come to accept this in his own youth, however unfortunate it was. “People aren’t born equal and never will be equal.”

He paused, taking a drink from his wine before continuing in a more up-lifting timbre of voice. “However, that should not stop us from empathizing with others, from confronting our humanity. Even though we cannot change how things are, it doesn’t mean we have to mindlessly accept it and participate in it. If we can’t make the world fair, let’s just make sure we can make a it a bit more just. If people aren’t equal, how about we just make sure there is a minimum of rights people get.”

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Pressing his lips together, he considered her expression. Wishing on a star. “Sometimes,” the dwarf uttered closing his eyes with a warm tone of voice, a soft smile on his lips, “it is because of dreamers like you that changes are made. It is because people dream of improvement, because they address the issues of today, that we can create a better tomorrow.”