When You Live For Someone | Goodbye
This principle did not change here, no matter if Her Lady was there to see it or not. She didn’t mind if her name was lost to history– she had no legacy to leave behind, no relatives she was aware of, no one beyond these walls who would care to keep her memory alive save for Her Lady. And even then, she knew it was only a matter of time before she was replaced.
That was how life went– that was how Sofia’s existence was meant to proceed. She was born a bastard. She was left on the streets only to wink out of existence, her life destined to meet its end in the harsh and boreal winter. She found love, she dedicated her life to that love, and she was now going to pay the price for foolishness.
She wasn’t important enough to be remembered. That was a simple, steadfast fact– her life had no meaning, and she’d been a fool to hope that she had a future. She was replaceable.
When the villain meets her end, no one mourns.
When the murderer pays her price, her memory is reviled into nothingness.
When a knight betrays her honor, she is erased from history.
Sofia would be lying to herself and to everyone else if she pretended that it wasn’t what she deserved.
The knight held her head high nonetheless, carefully neutralizing her countenance, letting her icy barriers rise once more. She didn’t deserve anyone’s love, she didn’t deserve anyone’s mourning– so why should she pretend she did?
Even in the chaos of the courtroom, even among the patchwork of voices, even in spite of what announced her fate…Sofia simply stood where she was, her eyes falling closed and her hand disappearing into the collar of her shirt as she produced a modest, simple chain of beads…with a tiny cross at it’s unity point.
If she was going to die, it was only fair that she apologize.
Uniting her hands with her rosary in between them, she stood in silence for a lengthy few moments– her silent conversation with the only one who could forgive her, the only one who would remember her existence blocking out the world beyond.
…Hey, God? It’s me, Sofia– I just wanted to say I’m sorry.
She couldn’t hear their sighs of relief, she couldn’t hear a word from her classmates.
I’ve done something irreparable, and it’s only fitting I meet my end for it. I have broken one of Your Commandments. I’ve taken the life of an innocent, and…although I don’t expect You to grant my requests…?
It was all lost to her. In those few moments, she only had herself and Him.
I…I just ask a few things of You. Before I’m gone.
She didn’t care what they thought of her anymore.
…My life was not a life. It was a sad existence, and this is truly selfish of me, but I beg of You…please, don’t let anyone else have my same experiences. Let others like me find something to live for and not be a fool enough to sin in its name.
She wasn’t sure if anyone could see her now, but she was crying. Again, to be true, but there was a solemnity– a loneliness here that hadn’t been present in her tears from before.
And second…let My Lady find true love. Please. Let her be safe, let her have the happiness she so truly deserves– protect that smile. Just let her find someone.
But before she put it all away, before she let her final prayer conclude…
…please. Just once, before I die, let me know happiness. …in Your name I pray, Amen.
Sofia tucked her rosary back into its place at her collar, gingerly wiping her tears to the side. She cupped one of her impossible miracles in her hands, directing her focus, her entire being onto it. Its blue petals, albeit synthetic, felt soft and vivacious in her fingers.
“I will say this one last time– I do not want forgiveness. I do not want anything from any of you. What’s done is done and it cannot be taken back.”
Her countenance was neutral, her voice stern and icy.
“I never anticipated for any of you to understand what it’s like to know no love, save for that of a single person. My Lady Aria was the only one who convinced me that my existence could be put to good use. I swore on the day I met her that if time should call upon it, I would die for her.”
The knight betrayed no feeling in her next words. She knew that her memory was soon to die– she knew that it was only a matter of time before the name Sofia Romano bore no significance on this Earth.
“And that time has come, although ‘tis more than a decade late. Although I would love to leave you with words of comfort…I request you not underestimate our captors. No matter how much I wish it? I will not the be the last to take action for something taken away. You’d all best be on your guard.”
She then turned her focus to Beau, eyeing the chessmaster with a new tenderness.
“…Lady Demain, your kindness toward me in spite of my actions…it is not something I will forget even in the grave. You are one of two people who have shown me this kind of benevolence in my eighteen years of living, and I…I cannot stand here and not acknowledge it. Thank you. Thank you so much.”
She then eyed the rest of the class with a murderous seriousness, severity glaring like daggers in her azure eyes. The mild smile that had graced her moments before was gone, replaced with an aggression unimaginable.
“Should any of you attempt to harm Lady Demain, I assure you that this will not be the last you see of me. If I have to drag myself out of my grave to protect her, then I will. This kind of kindness is rare and precious, and I will not hesitate to haunt you if any one of you dare attempt to harm her.”
Sofia plucked one of the blue roses from her hair, throwing it over to Beau with marvelous accuracy.
“Keep this as a symbol of hope– as a sign that I will not leave you regardless of what becomes of me.”
With one last tiny smile, Sofia turned to face Chuuya and Anatol.
“I am ready for whatever punishment you see fit for me. I pray that in death I may fulfill my duties as a knight, my duty to protect…just a little bit better. May my incarnation in the afterlife be that of a guardian angel; maybe then my existence will be for good.”
The knight inhaled, allowing tranquility to overcome her composure
you weren’t built for fighting
even though every part of her begged time to start over.
But that doesn’t mean you’re not prepared to try
Although every nerve in her body screamed
although she’d never wished more that her mother hadn’t left her
although she’d never longed for Her Lady more
When you live for someone
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