I am like so unhinged depressed I'm about to Baker Act myself lol like I don't see the point anymore and I hate myself more than anyone else can.
25 was the worst year of my life.
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@improvingtakestime
I am like so unhinged depressed I'm about to Baker Act myself lol like I don't see the point anymore and I hate myself more than anyone else can.
25 was the worst year of my life.
how things should be
an author i love just tweeted about how “big joy and small joy are the same” and how she was just as content the other night eating chocolate and cuddling her dog as she was on her Big Trip to new york and honestly. i think that’s it. this morning i was listening to an audiobook while baking shortbread in my joggers and i realised i really didn’t care what Big Things happened in my future as long as i could keep baking and reading at the weekend and maybe that is the kind of bar we have to set to guard ourselves against disappointment. just appreciate and cherish the mundane stuff and see everything else as a bonus.
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Revolutionary parenting hack:
If your child is in the middle of some activity and clearly enjoying it (and wasn't supposed to be doing something else instead), DO NOT interrupt them and have them do chores that will "only take 5 minutes or so!"
You haven't asked them to do anything before they got out the Legos, started reading a chapter of their book or painting the complicated picture, or began playing their video game.
As a result of being repeatedly interrupted, they will learn that their presence in public space of the household=availability to do chores, so they will make themselves scarce so you can't find them and order them around. They will also become suspicious of your efforts to engage with them as they play, as they've learned that these pleasantries are a prelude to "Take out the trash", or "move your boots and vacuum the entryway, there's dirt everywhere ".
"But I need my children to help me around the house!", I hear you cry. I understand. Children should not be treated like royalty and left to their own devices 24/7.
An alternative is to give the kids a clearly delineated chore chart and stick to it, resisting the urge to add anything to it. There are some chores that are easier and quicker with two people, though. A (in my opinion) even better option is to divide the child's day into "on-duty" and "off-duty " time. When they're on-duty, you can interrupt them as before, but you have *consulted with your child beforehand * and they understand that during this time they can relax, but they must be ready to jump in and lend a hand.
That way they won't start trying to level up in their video game or break out the clay and make stuff. When they are off-duty, you leave them alone and their only responsibilities are to clean up whatever mess they make at the end of this time.
Also, if they are tearing around the house or whining about being bored, don't make them do chores so they will "have something to do"; this could make the child conflate extra chores with punishment for whining and make them reluctant to help out when you randomly tell them to at other times because they might think they're being punished but they have NO IDEA WHAT THEY DID. And IMO children should see chores as things everyone has to do no matter what, not punishments.
I may seem unqualified to offer parenting advice as I have no kids, but I was talking with my dad today and he said: "I wish you didn't hide from us in your room so much, but every time your mom walked by she'd give you a chore to do, so I can't blame you for that." A kid who hides in their room to play has an entirely different relationship to the family than the child who sprawls on the livingroom floor and excitedly describes the city they are building out of Legos.
And today, in times of Covid I play a complicated game of hide-and-seek with my mother as I try to do my online coding homework and apply for jobs. I am now attempting to turn my bedroom into my own tiny office because if I work in our home office, she'll find me and go "I can't attach this file to my email," and so on.
Children *have* to obey their parents when they are young. But true respect and honoring collective responsibilities is stronger than forced obedience. If you demonstrate to your children that you respect them and their time, they will reciprocate.
“I think it is time for new generations, like mine or younger, to have means of communication that show them expressions of equality and educate them about the differences that make each of us beautiful. When I saw Yalitza Aparicio on the cover of Vogue, it was also a sign and now I know that I could be that sign for more girls if I keep working hard and being grateful.”
— Karen Vega by Dorian Ulises López Macías for Vogue Mexico (July 2020), the first Oaxacan Indigenous model to appear on the cover of the magazine
Moments..
Not diagnosing a child doesn't mean they won't notice they're different. It just means that instead of thinking "I'm struggling because I have autism/adhd/anxiety/depression/schizophrenia", they will just conclude that they are struggling because they are stupid, weak, annoying, unlovable, etc.
life gets so much better when you realize that there are no rules. you don’t have to get your license at 16 if you don’t want to. you don’t have to date anyone in your teen years if you don’t want to. you don’t have to move out in your 20s if you don’t want to. you don’t need to go to any social gathering that you’re not in the mood to go to. and you don’t owe anyone an explanation. sometimes you don’t wanna do something just because you... don’t wanna do it. that’s it. live your life how you wanna live it.
The older I get the more I understand why Van Gogh shoveled yellow paint into his mouth
Life is difficult mentally. Work fucking sucks. I'm not progressing anywhere academically. My family isn't truly supportive, only superficially. My friends are all drifting apart. I've never been lonelier than at 25. I want to down my sorrows in alcohol but I know that's not a true fix.
sharron hedges
The older I get the more I understand why Van Gogh shoveled yellow paint into his mouth
I like really hate myself some all of the times??? Like, ya know?