i think i should be allowed to quit my job and write gross and smutty fanfiction all day and still pull in a salary. i think it's a reasonable ask.
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@impulse-goblin
i think i should be allowed to quit my job and write gross and smutty fanfiction all day and still pull in a salary. i think it's a reasonable ask.
(to the tone of creep by radiohead) but i'm asleep. on mypillow
"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s
Tagged by: @beyondthetemples-ooc ty zira 🩵 I haven't done one of these in forever, but I think you caught me at a good time to do one today lol
Last song & album: the garden by the crane wives, haven't been listening to albums lately but Ive been DEEP on repeating crane wives nonstop this week & last week. Their songs give my brain something to chew on
Currently watching: me n Mac are gonna watch our next episode of dragontales tonight lol (hotd that is)
Current obsession: back into my dc phase again but my hellaverse fixation is on idle mode rn (I'll just need some news to drop to be back in full swing on it again haha)
Currently reading: a manga called “I want to eat your pancreas”; my uncle tony (s/o uncle tony) has decided that I collect manga now and got me a few diff ones from a thrift (and I wanna be clear: it's been years since I watched anime on my own, Mac had me catch up on Apothecary Diaries which I def enjoyed! But I've never in my life been a manga reader so I have no idea why my uncle has suddenly decided I'm one 😂) it's a volume(?) that has the entire series/run(?)(idk manga terms im a comic reader obvi), I'm abt halfway thru and it's a nice little story so far. I'm waiting for the shoe to drop on if it'll swing fully into romance or stay platonic and I'm just enjoying the short little ride for what it is (also still halfway thru Titans08, probs will take a TT break once I'm done with that run)
Currently working on: chipping away at my zeelina fic & Ive been meaning to do a few minor sewing projects, just haven't carved out the time to do em yet
Last google search: “Martha's vineyard”, I think it might be in my queue but there was a post I read aloud to Mac n Jack and then we were like ‘wait what IS the history of it being called that' and we got to learn smthn new :)
Tagging: anyone reading this and wearing socks, tag ur it 🩵
Out of control Edwardian youths refuse to clap at production of Peter Pan, force distraught J.M Barrie to pull out rarely seen "Tinkerbell Fucking Dies" ending
You probably know this but shitpost ruining fun fact for anybody who doesn’t:
When the play first was performed, JM Barrie et al were so concerned this might happen that they instructed the orchestra to drop their instruments and clap at this point, just in case
I did not know this and I'm grateful for being informed
Peter Pan edited by Anne Hiebert Alton (2011)
(sorry to interrupt joke post but) this is true!
Children not clapping did happen too, (and some were even expected to have hissed, which was later written into the 1928 playscript and 1911 novel). But my all time favourite anecdote about it is from Pauline Chase (who played Peter)'s intro to Peter Pan's Post Bag 1909:
Children love to clap their hands at the play because then they feel that they are really part of it, and you can see them holding their hands poised ready to seize an opportunity. Their great chance is when I ask them to clap their hands if they believe in fairies, and so save Tink's life. But they are very wrathful if any one claps who has the reputation of being a cynic, and once there was quite an uproar in the front row of the dress circle because of a girl who clapped. Those about her pulled down her arms angrily. "How dare you clap," they cried, "when you know you don't believe in fairies!" There was one dreadfully hard-hearted little boy who came to the theatre not to clap. That was his object for coming, and he came round "behind" to tell me so in the middle of the play. His teeth were firm set. "I won't clap," he said doggedly; "I'm not going to clap." And when the time came he didn't clap; above the clapping of all the others I could hear him shouting from a box, "Peter, I'm not clapping."
(Tink was revived each time anyway)
You can tell a lot about a person by entering their mind palace and encountering their greatest fears and darkest hopes in a labyrinth reflective of their subconscious thoughts.
no nuance friday. i wish ai was a person who i could turn into a flea. a harmless, little flea. and then i’ll put that flea in a box, and then i’ll put that box inside of another box, and then i’ll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives i’ll smash it WITH a hammer!!
sob emoji is up there with the period and the comma
Here look at the entire Papyrus of Ani
People were smaller back then
opening Tumblr is like a cigarette break
"oh food now has so much added to it, past food was so pure and untainted" victorians used to cut bread with chalk and aluminum powder. romans put lead in the wine, which was made from dirty feet mushing unwashed grapes covered in horse shit and road dust. i think our species will survive a few additives in food. our food systems have never been cleaner and safer. it has room for improvement, but we're not putting fucking plaster of paris in the milk
So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)
Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.
So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.
But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.
It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?
So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:
Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.
And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.
So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".
So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.
I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.
Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:
My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.
Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.
Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.
Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).
Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues
(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)
ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:
According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.
Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.
For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.
So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.
Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.
Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life
Aaand a close-up:
The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace
HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE
via @kagaminilen
you guys have seen this right