Apathetic Alice

This is my inner monologue come to life. Late 20’s existential crisis happening right before your very eyes. Welcome to the show. 27, she/they.

[imthecats-meow]

[imthecats-meow]

I spy with my little eye, something blue…..

[gunkshottt]

[imthecats-meow]

The weekend mom uniform: bike shorts, crop top.

[imthecats-meow]

Working moms play too 😈

[heloveshisplaything-deactivated]

I'm not sorry princess. You looked so good as you slept, I couldn't help but pull your panties to the side and admire your tight holes. How innocent they look after everything I've put them through, and especially how good they looked wrapped around my raw cock. I'm not sorry I slowly fucked you with my hand around your throat while you were half asleep, telling you if you made a noise I'd leave you with even more bruises. And I'm definitely not sorry for cumming inside you and taking polaroids of your sleeping body filled with cum, then hanging those polaroids on the fridge.

I will be doing it again.

[the-stray-liger]

Im sorry but the mental image of someone's packer falling out of their pant leg is so funny to me. Hey king uh you dropped your dick

[the-stray-liger]

Imagine me dropping my dick and the having to look for it on all 4s like Velma searching for her glasses at the club

[the-stray-liger]

Joke's on you all my posts are flops. You'll never get me

[the-stray-liger]

Uh oh.

[the-stray-liger]

Shout out to everyone telling the story of how the lost their cock in public in the tags I have been laughing for 10 minutes straight

[the-stray-liger]

Im sorry but the mental image of someone's packer falling out of their pant leg is so funny to me. Hey king uh you dropped your dick

[the-stray-liger]

Imagine me dropping my dick and the having to look for it on all 4s like Velma searching for her glasses at the club

[the-stray-liger]

Joke's on you all my posts are flops. You'll never get me

[the-stray-liger]

Uh oh.

[the-stray-liger]

Shout out to everyone telling the story of how the lost their cock in public in the tags I have been laughing for 10 minutes straight

[imthecats-meow]

Hot moms of tumblr? Like, literally hot. It’s 110 today.

[tilthat]

TIL “Yankee Doodle” was written by the British to mock americans. “Doodle” is thought to come from the German “dödel”, meaning “fool” or “simpleton” and “macaroni,” a flamboyantly stylish type of dress, painting the Yankees as morons who thought placing a feather in one’s cap made them a “dandy.”

via reddit.com

[toastpotent-deactivated20250619]

so you’re telling me that “stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni” would be like saying “wrote a G on his belt and called it gucci”

[beggars-opera]

that’s…a pretty good analogy actually

[ti-bae-rius]

US moron came to town

Hunting for some coochie

Wrote a G up on his belt

And this bitch called it Gucci

[ti-bae-rius]

Seeing my notifications get flooded with this every July 4th is the only thing I respect about America

[imthecats-meow]

Kids wore me out this morning

[imthecats-meow]

Flashback to pregnancy 🥲

[imthecats-meow]

[imthecats-meow]

If you don’t love the mom rolls, you don’t get the mom holes

[imthecats-meow]

Hips n dips

[imthecats-meow]

When the MILFs go to work

[imthecats-meow]

Mom bod, post baby number 2.