noise dept.
$LAYYYTER
Kiana Khansmith
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
KIROKAZE
oozey mess
Cosmic Funnies
untitled
hello vonnie
NASA
Product Placement
taylor price
tumblr dot com
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Noah Kahan
if i look back, i am lost
EXPECTATIONS
h
Jules of Nature
RMH
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from Singapore
seen from Colombia
seen from Türkiye
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
@imustbeginger
What food group is honey what the fuck is this stuff
Apparently its categorized as raw meat by the FDA, which is cursed information if I’ve ever seen it.
WHAT
Y’all: Honey isn’t vegan because it comes from bees.
Me an intellectual: Honey isn’t vegan because it’s a raw meat.
you don’t understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started
Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found on the counter. I knew it was going to be given to the family for desert if I didn’t eat it soon, so I was going to plan to eat it in my teacher’s house and dump all the crumbs on her bed. So it’s a win-win, right? Besides, she wouldn’t find out about the crumbs until after I was paid, and this teacher hates me anyway. Then, I got distracted when this hot cheerleader calls me, asking about what movie I’d recommend, but before I could answer, I realize that my mom would be there any second to serve dinner, and there was no way I was sharing that pie. So I bust out of there with the pie and the keys, and the moment I get in the house, I start chowing down on the pie with my bare hands, trying to eat this thing before anyone knows I took it, right? Well, since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a 2-liter bottle of soda whenever my throat would get dry and eventually, I really needed “to go.” Only when I went to flush, the water wouldn’t stop flowing and there was no plunger to be found. Usually I’d just shrug and say it was Josh’s fault or something, but let’s get real here, Mrs. Hayfer would’ve blamed me about her toilet overflowing if I was 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in there, hoping it’d make the toilet stop flushing. Then my phone rings, and I knew it was my mom, asking where her pie went, and because Meghan decided it’d be a great idea to make my ring tone a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayfer’s dog, Tiberius starts freaking out, bashing into the door over and over again. Now anyone who knows this dog knows that this dog will happily eat anything, and that includes the pie, and probably myself. So my foot’s totally stuck in there right, I’m freaking out and I still got half a pie left.
BLESS YOU
My goodness
This was literally the funniest one. Even He couldn’t help but laugh.
I love how He is capitalized as if Drake Bell is God
i think the next step for me socially is to fake my death and become a sea captain
dead leafs? that’s called yard salad now. and it’s the new food trend.
leaves*
where are you going
ghostbusters are always like who are you gunna call? ghostbusters! but it’s hard enough to call the doctor’s office i’m not gunna call the ghostbusters i’d just live with a ghost in my house forever
who you gunna call? no one i have anxiety
due to personal reasons i’ll be going back to sleep
the first step to robbing a bank is picking out a cute outfit
Since bat wings are just skin stretched between elongated finger bones, bats fly through the power of jazz hands.
reblog if you’ve always believed that it was butter
Sigmund Freud: All men secretly REALLY REALLY want to have sex with their mothers
It’s the Oedipus Complex
Oedipus: (Who literally gouged his own eyes out and killed himself when he found out he accidentally had sex with his mother) I’m sorry it’s the WHAT complex
guys… I don’t know if you know this but… if you wake up early… there’s so many more hours in the day
