Hey everyone. As you can tell I stopped posting here. No reason in particular....I would like to say it’s because things have gotten better. But they haven’t. If you are dealing with a heartbreak, and would like to hear someone else’s story....grab some popcorn, because this could be a long one.Â
It’s been over four months since he broke up with me (through text I might add). We were together for three years, then out of the blue I get a text saying “I don’t want to be in a relationship anymore. I don’t want you anymore. Leave me alone.” Within the few minutes it took for me to grasp what just happened, I went to respond...only to find he had blocked my number, as well as every other social media and email.Â
This came as such a shock to me, as I have always been such a supportive, caring, and loyal girlfriend. He came first always in my life. I never felt that he loved me the way I loved him. But, I thought maybe he just had a funny way of showing love. Looking back I never thought he would have ended things the way he did. He took the cowardly way out, and in return that completely destroyed me. This was the same boy who said he wanted to marry me. He wanted me and only me forever. That I was the only girl for him. Keep in mind he told me these things even days before he broke up with me.Â
If you read my previous posts, I get into more detail of the months following the break up. I met someone else, which quickly went south. I don’t speak to many people anymore. I’m closed off. I feel worthless, not good enough, useless, ugly, and sometimes I wish I wasn’t even on this earth anymore.Â
It’s amazing how much power someone can have over your life. He made sure I was always still chasing after him. I wouldn’t hear from him for weeks and then I would get a message saying he loved me and wanted me back. Just enough to get me hooked again. I’d go crazy thinking about him, just for him to become very cold and shut me out within a couple of days. This was a repetitive cycle, going on since we broke up back in November. This last time was different. He got me very hooked, he was speaking as though he wanted to get back together. All this stuff he knew I would fall for. Then one night I asked him what he was up to, in which he responded with his GIRLFRIEND. Even now, days later...I cant even think of how to respond to that. Why on earth would you lead someone on who loves you so much, just to say you have a girlfriend. He rubbed the fact that he was with another girl right in my face. It’s not even to the point that he’s trying to make me jealous. He just honestly wants to see me in pain over him, as he feels power from it. I was having some health issues where he knew I could not deal with any kind of stress at that moment, and then he told me he is going to sleep over at his girlfriends place.Â
I’m not the one to judge someone, but in this case I would say she deserves it. She is complete trash. I am not saying this because I am jealous (even though I am). But, she is a TERRIBLE influence. I’ve heard from a source in his family that all she does is do drugs, drink an excessive amount, and party. She is a girl who is known to sleep around with pretty much any guy. I never comment on peoples appearances as I do think everyone is beautiful....but this girl is the definition of trailer trash. She is the kind of person who looks like she never showers...(You all know what I mean). He is doing all these things with her including skipping school, getting fired from his job, blowing all his money and charging up credit cards, not to mention the fact that he has major depressive disorder and will not get the help he needs.Â
I was always the one to push him to go to school, do his school work, study for hours with him, bring him dinner almost every night, helped him find and stay at a job. At times I felt like his mother, as I did so much to help him better himself. He was doing awesome....now all of that is just gone. I know I need to stay out of it, but the fact of the matter is that I honestly don’t even care if he gets back with me at this point...because I just want him to stop spiraling downwards, and I want him to realize she is doing that to him. I tried telling him this and his response was that I was a terrible girlfriend. He could say what he wants about me, but there was honest to god no one who treated him better than me. I loved him with all of my heart. I did whatever he wanted. I did EVERYTHING to make him happy. He was the only boy I ever saw.Â
I was always the one to pull him up, and now he does not see that she is dragging him down.Â
Now what I cannot figure out.....is how I’m going to get over him. If anyone has any pointers, or would like to share their story, I would love that.
stormborns
kaledo-art
titsay
blakekathryn
turnnoffyourmind
