hey my favourite hoe!!!
i got some really bad news..
my girlfriend just broke up with me and im finding it really hard to cope with. do you have any tips?? I could really use any right now mwah mwah kiss kiss, xoxo emily
hey emily 💔
first of all, i’m wrapping you up in the biggest blanket hug ever. breakups feel like someone has yanked the floor out from under you, and you’re just… floating in the freefall. there’s no sugarcoating it, it sucks, and you’re allowed to say it sucks without trying to immediately “find the lesson” or “be grateful for the memories.” right now, your job isn’t to be inspirational. your job is to just survive the day.
⋆.ೃ࿔:･ surviving the first wave ･:ೃ.⋆ your brain is probably doing that thing where it keeps replaying moments... the good ones, the bad ones, all tangled together, and each one feels like a punch. this is normal. your brain’s trying to make sense of something it doesn’t want to accept yet. so, you need to stop feeding it extra material. that means muting her on socials, tucking away pictures, hiding her sweatshirt at the back of the closet. not because you’re erasing her, but because you’re protecting you. it’s like stopping the bleeding before you can even think about healing.
⋆.ೃ࿔:･ feeling without drowning ･:ೃ.⋆ the hardest part is letting yourself feel without letting it swallow you whole. when you start spiraling, set a timer for 10 minutes. let yourself cry, scream into a pillow, write an unhinged note in your phone about how much she hurt you, whatever. when the timer goes off, you do something physical to pull yourself out, wash your face with cold water, step outside, stretch until your muscles ache a little. grief is a wave. you don’t stop it from coming, but you can keep yourself from being dragged under every time.
⋆.ೃ࿔:･ stop romanticizing the version of her in your head ･:ೃ.⋆ i know you keep thinking about how she laughed that one time, or the way she looked at you when you were half-asleep. but here’s the thing... that girl doesn’t exist anymore. maybe she never did, at least not fully. you were in love with a whole version of her that’s now gone, and the person standing here in the breakup aftermath isn’t the one you built a life in your mind with. it’s brutal, but the quicker you stop reaching for her shadow, the sooner you can start holding your own hand instead.
⋆.ೃ࿔:･ make “nexts” instead of “nevers” ･:ೃ.⋆ people always say “you’ll love again,” which is true but annoyingly vague. so don’t focus on the forever, focus on the next. the next new café you’ll go to without thinking of her. the next song you’ll find that makes you feel something that isn’t grief. the next inside joke you’ll make with someone new. little nexts stack into a life that feels yours again.
⋆.ೃ࿔:･ create tiny rituals just for you ･:ೃ.⋆ when your relationship ends, all the small shared routines vanish, the good morning texts, the tv show you watched together, even the way you grocery shopped. that absence is loud. so you need to fill it with your noise. start a silly playlist you add to every morning. light a candle at night when you’re getting ready for bed. make sunday mornings your “slow breakfast and no phone” day. the point isn’t distraction, it’s proof that life still has sweetness even when your heart is bruised.
⋆.ೃ࿔:･ don’t rush the rebuild ･:ೃ.⋆ you’re going to have days you feel okay, and then suddenly one tiny thing will knock the wind out of you. this doesn’t mean you’re “regressing” or “failing” at moving on. healing isn’t a straight staircase, it’s a messy map with loops, pauses, and random bursts forward. be gentle with the girl who wakes up crying. she’s also the girl who will one day laugh so hard she forgets she was ever this sad.
so for now, eat something, even if it’s just toast. text a friend “i’m sad” and let them send you memes. wear something soft. breathe through it. you are not stuck here forever, i promise.
xoxo, mindy 🤍
