[incendiobrock]

About Me:

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she/her. bisexual. twenty-four. chris girl. music. reading. cats. stars. moon. slushy noobz. vinyls. crystals.

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masterlist

[incendiobrock]

Jordan Huxhold Masterlist

Last updated: 6/13/2026

Imagines:

the dark horse

[incendiobrock]

(don’t hold me to it in case i don’t commit) but i lowkey wanna start writing for jordan huxhold if anyone would be interested

[incendiobrock]

i finally committed

[incendiobrock]

the dark horse

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pairing(s): jordan huxhold x fem!princess!reader

summary: destined for an arranged marriage and trapped inside dreary castle walls by your cruel, cold hearted father — your fate falls into the hands of a mysterious stranger in black.

warning(s): brief mentions of war

this is my gothic fantasy inspired au!

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the sound of rain filled the castle halls. the heavy drops flittering across the large windows as dark clouds loomed overhead. it was always like this in the small town of pluvia, the land of the rain — as the gods called it. you were used to the dreariness, having grown up within the castles walls. it was rare that you ever saw the sunlight, especially since your father, the king of pluvia, wasn’t very keen on you exiting the grounds.

the room was cast with a soft, orange glow from the light of your lantern, creating shadows along the walls. the feathered quill moved deftly in your hand as the ink soaked deep into the parchment on your desk. a sudden crack of lightning illuminated your bedroom with white light but the thunderous sound hadn’t fazed you as you kept scribbling onto the page. setting down the quill, you held the parchment away from your face, trying to gain a better vantage point of the etchings.

drawing was the one thing that kept you from going insane inside the cold, stone walls of the castle. it was the one thing that your father had no control over.

the dark ink contrasted sharply with the white of the parchment, revealing a quickly sketched emblem. despite it being a quick sketch, the markings were nearly effortless, perfectly reflecting the cryptic symbol you’d stumbled upon earlier in the day. your father might keep you trapped inside but you weren’t ignorant to the world beyond the castle. the war was looming and it came as no surprise to anybody.

your fiance, prince odium, from vallace — a town that pledged allegiance to your father as he declared your arrangement in marriage, had been training tirelessly. he vowed a lot the day your father decreed you two would wed, and your safety was the top priority. so while you were studying countless books, and learning to sew, and perfecting your poise while you sauntered around the ballroom in a dance, odium learned to battle.

you studying your drawing for a second more before you pulled out the wooden drawer of your desk. the few books you’d saved inside were quickly disregarded as you pulled out the folded page at the bottom of the drawer. with deft fingers, you delicately unfolded the page you’d torn from a book you had been looking through in the library earlier. the pages symbol matched the one you’d drawn almost perfectly.

the book had been written in a language you didn’t understand, but the emblem had caught your eye. it was a circle, the side profile of what appeared to be a horses head in the middle, surrounded by markings from the unknown language. satisfied with your drawing you quickly slipped both the pages into a random book before shutting your drawer. another crack of lightning streaked through the air just as the wooden door to your room flew open, this time making you jump. odium filled the doorway, his tall, muscled frame taking up the entire entrance.

a sword was strapped to his back, the pommel peeking over his shoulder as he strode into the room, shutting the door behind him. a heavy sigh fell from his lips as he plopped onto the edge of the bed, peeling off his boots, “you should be asleep.” he stated, shifting to glance over to where you sat by the window. his hair was messily strewn across his forehead, shoulders tense, and you’d known that he had been sparring.

you shrugged your shoulders, “the storm has kept me up.” you replied, voice soft as you met his gaze. he stood from the bed, his now bare feet wading across the cobbled floor as he approached your desk. his hand found your chin, holding it between his thumb and forefinger as he tilted it up so you were looking at him. “you are used to storms. it is always storming here.” he reminded you, his thumb brushing over your jaw. it was true. storms never deterred you from sleep. you blinked slowly, not having a reply, he’d already called your bluff.

“come. let’s get you to bed.” he said, nodding his head towards the mattress, his hand traveling from where it had cupped your jaw down to your shoulder with a gentle squeeze. the wooden chair legs screeched against the stone floor as you stood from the desk. the prince really wasn’t a bad guy, in fact he was pretty decent. he was handsome, with dark eyes and a smile fit for royalty. plus, he was strong, and annoyingly studious. the loathing came from a part deeper within you, the part where your father gave you no say in your future. if you had met odium organically, you where almost certain that you’d have fallen in love with him.

he knew, of course, why you were so withdrawn, why you kept to yourself most of the time, that this was just your father’s wish. that didn’t stop him from treating you like his fiancée however, never wishing to cause a rift between the king and the allyship with his town. you stood at the edge of the bed, odium at your back. his fingers delicately began to unlace the back of your corset, allowing you to properly breathe for the first time all day. there was no small talk, just a mutual understanding that this is how it was.

once you were out of your dress and into your nightgown you slipped under the silky sheets of your bed, head sinking into the pillow. odium slid in beside you, one of his daggers resting on the bedside table, on standby in case of an unexpected attack. the rain and distant thunder rolled on, creating a melody that soothed you to sleep. you dreamt of a world where you were free. a world that allowed you to choose your own destiny and didn’t rely on you becoming the queen.

you woke the next morning to the sound of birds chirping, the beginnings of sunlight pouring through your arched windows. today must be a rare display of sunshine. odium was already gone, his side of the bed empty, most likely out for his morning training routine. he never took any days off from running, sparring, or hand to hand combat. it was the weekend though, and you had no issues taking two days away from your studies. after your eyes fully opened you slipped from the bed, dressing in your day to day gown and fixing your hair.

the halls were suspiciously empty, the guards and maids no where to be seen. you made your way to the dining hall, finding no one in there either. the kitchen was bare, no lingering scent of freshly baked pastries or eggs. you continued through the halls, taking a bite of an apple you’d swiped from the kitchen. exiting the large wooden doors to the courtyard you were met with the sight of all the guards, maids, cooks, and other nobilities crowded around your father. the king stood tall in the center of the chaos, his demeanor stern as he attempted to calm the crowd. curiosity got the best of you as you lifted the ends of your gown, gently pushing through the people to get to your father.

“silence!” his voice boomed over the commotion, making everyone go deadly still, the silence almost louder than the noise. the crowd parted as you continued forward, stopping as you reached the center of the circle. the stern, cold exterior of your fathers eyes didn’t even spare a glance in your direction as he addressed the crowd, “guards, take position at your posts. everybody else is on lockdown until further notice.” he said before dismissing the group by nudging his personal guard who began to shoo everyone back towards the castle.

“father!“ you called out, stepping around the sea of people who now hurried to the doors. his back faced you as he went further into the courtyard, heading towards the castle gates. his strides were long and each step he took held a forbidding power. you trudged through the last of the people, hiking your skirt a little higher into your fists to try and catch up with the king. “father, wait-“ you started again before a hand caught your wrist, wrapping firmly around the joint. the sudden hold made you falter, your gaze tearing from your fathers figure as you turned in the grip.

odium held your wrist, his chainmail and sword still decorating his body, letting you know he indeed came from training. “what’s happening?” you asked, looking up at the man. his brows were furrowed ever so slightly as he studied your face, “there’s been a sighting. a man on a horse on the outskirts of the northern forest line. the king is certain he doesn’t travel alone. he’s called for a search of the grounds.” odium informed you, piquing your interest. it wasn’t often there was sighting of anybody in the vicinity of the castle. no one came unless specifically called upon by your father.

“go inside with the others, where it is safe. we don’t know if this is an ambush.” odium continued, a hand now hovering over the small of your back as he ushered you towards the door. his own tight expression was enough of a tell that he was going to be apart of the search party. reluctantly, you moved towards the castle, already missing the feeling of the suns rays on your skin. couldn’t this have happened on a day where the goddess of sun wasn’t feeling up to sharing her gift?

“stay in your room. i will return to you when it is safe.” he promised and it almost made you loathe him further. it was so much harder to hate him when he continuously proved to be a nice suitor. part of you would always feel guilty for the unrequited feelings you shared. for if it hadn’t been premeditated by your father you might have actually fallen for him. with a gentle nod you agreed to his wishes, slipping back behind the safety of the stone walls as he set off towards the stables for his horse. one of the royal guards escorted you all the way back to your suite, where he would stand lookout by the entrance door, keeping you safely tucked away.

crossing the expanse of your room, you took a seat at your desk, pulling out your journal and flipping through all your sketches. pages and pages of research were inked into the parchment. the one upside to spending so much time in your studies was getting to explore the castles expansive library. there were so many books that predated your lineage, a lot of it written in ancient text. you always took a special interest in the drawings and symbolism hidden between the leather covers. as your eyes glossed over the most recent page in your journal your mind wandered to your sketch of the emblem you’d drawn the prior night.

quickly, you yanked open your drawer and pulled out the folded piece of loose parchment, running your finger over the horse symbol. the sound of birds chirping took you from your thoughts, drawing your eyes to the window in front of the desk. the sun was still shining and the castle gardens looked beautiful in the glow, all the rain had blessed the flowers to bloom. folding the parchment back up you slipped it into your corset, deciding it was too perfect of a day to stay holed up in your room, lockdown or not.

you knew that your father likely had a guard positioned outside your door, maybe even two, but that wasn’t going to stop you. how were they going to say no to the kings daughter when she told them she just wanted to go read in the library?

a small, cunning smile pulled at your lips as you strode down the corridor with ease. another advantage to always being in the castle — you knew where there were secret passageways. admittedly, you had never used them, or even thought about exploring them, but today you refused to let your father keep you from enjoying the sun. your heels clicked as you carefully descended the spiral staircase into the old cellar. it was dark and dingy, and smelled vaguely like wet dog. the torch lights lit the tunnel all the way down, flickering an eerie, orange glow across the stone.

as you walked through the tunnel, skirt still held up by your fists, you realized the passageway went on further than you anticipated. the east wing of the castle was just above the cellar, but you would’ve reached the end by now and yet the tunnel still loomed on. when the end finally came into view you were met with a rickety ladder bolted into the stone wall leading upwards to your exit. you took in a small breath before hiking up your dress.

your hands clamped around the first rung of the rusted ladder, tilting your head up to look at the climb ahead of you. one at a time, you climbed upwards until you reached the metal covering. lifting your arms above your head you gently pushed at the cover, finding it slightly heavier than anticipated. you muttered to yourself before pushing on it with more strength, popping it open and allowing you to slide it to the side, creating enough of an opening for you to climb out.

squinting your eyes you pulled yourself through the opening, finding yourself in the middle of part of the forest. you couldn’t see the castle past the expanse of trees but you figured you were probably a couple miles out of range. the forest was quiet, minus the sound of birds high in the trees. you spun in a slow circle, head tipped back to look at the canopy of leaves. there was no sign of your father or any of his men, maybe they had already searched this area and moved on to other parts of the lush forest. part of you felt like you should be scared, being out in the woods all alone despite the warnings to stay put. the other part of you, the more prominent part, felt exhilarated to be somewhat free.

you had never been past the castles gardens, barely making it to the tree line before a guard would stop you from continuing. the woods were beautiful, and it felt like your father was doing you a disservice by not allowing you to see it all these years. you began to slip further into the forest, walking between the trees as pine straw crunched at your feet, heels long discarded. the sound of trickling water filled your ears and soon you were met with a babbling brook. a soft laugh fell from your lips as you stepped off the bank, feet dipping into the cool stream. it felt nice in contrast to the warmth of the spring breeze.

shifting to sit on the bank, you cupped a handful of the water before splashing it over your face, feeling the coolness melt into your skin. this moment had made everything worth it. the way the stream rippled at your feet had you wanting to stay in it forever.

that was until — snap.

your head whipped up, eyes frantically glancing around your surroundings. someone, or something, was here. across the way, tucked between some trees, was a horse. brushing your hands over your skirt, you stood to cross the stream. the horse watched as you cautiously approached. you had been around the horses at the castles stable, never taught to ride but you had helped with the grooming. this horse wasn’t one from the castle. it was a big horse, with silky black fur and a mane to match, and it was all alone, tied up to the tree.

you stepped up, slightly at an angle so the horse could see you, raising a hand up to place it on its snout. luckily, the horse accepted your hand, letting out a snuff of air. a smile drew on your face as the horse nudged at your hand, allowing you to pet it. you wondered what it was doing out here all alone. hopefully it hadn’t been like this for awhile.

“i see you found my horse.” a low, unfamiliar voice sounded from behind you. turning over your shoulder you were met with the sight of a man dressed in all black. he had his hood up, sword strapped to his back, and a black satin mask that framed his beautiful, blue eyes. you took a step back from the horse, quickly dropping your hand as you created some distance. “i’m so sorry. i didn’t know.” you quickly apologized, bowing your head.

the man let out a soft laugh, stepping up to his horse and replacing where your hand had just been on the horses snout. “it’s okay, he likes the attention.” he smiled, casting a glance at you before looking back to the mare, patting his head. the man’s voice made you relax slightly, he didn’t seem to be a threat, at least not to you. the man made quick work untying the horse, keeping his reign in his hands instead. “i’m surprised to see you out here.” he admitted, now standing a couple feet in front of you, horse by his side.

you glanced over him once more, he was young, probably in his early to mid twenties, and from what you could see under his cloak he seemed fit. “what do you mean?” you questioned softly, your words not coming out with the strength you meant them to. “i never expect to see a princess deep in the forest.” he offers his explanation, a hand gesturing towards you, and likely your dress.

his words caught your attention, princess.

“how did you know?” you asked curiously, to which he let out another chuckled laugh. “how did i know what? that you’re the princess of pluvia?” he challenged, most likely cocking his eyebrow beneath the mask. before you had the chance to reply he spoke again, “i’ve always known of you. it’s why i’ve come here, in search of you. though i didn’t expect for you to find me first. makes my job easier.”

your gut coiled tightly, taking a step backwards out of pure instinct. he had been looking for you? “what do you want from me?” you demanded, voice now more stern. the soft glint in his eyes showed no malice, but you knew that knights could be deceiving. odium had taught you as much.

“come with me and i shall show you.” he offered, bowing at the waist ever so slightly, as though he was offering his allegiance to you. your brows knitted as you watched the man bowed before you. “and why should i trust you?” you asked, feeling like a fool for even coming into the forest to begin with. maybe your father was right to have kept you within the castle grounds, where it was safe. if you made a run for it now maybe you could make it back to the tunnel’s entrance. or maybe if you screamed loud enough odium would hear you, from wherever he searched in the woods for the mysterious trespasser who, unbeknownst to him, stood just a few feet in front of you.

“my kingdom has sent me. to rescue a woman trapped in a castle that offers no change.” he started again, standing in his place and making no advances on you. “the war is coming, haven’t you heard?” he asked, now studying you as you had studied him. you swallowed the lump in your throat, nodding your head softly, you knew about the war. there was a divide between the provinces, a rift in beliefs and a separation of powers, your father at the heart of the fight. odium rarely discussed the war with you, but from what you had gathered it seemed some people didn’t think your father was fit to be king.

“let me help you escape. there is a beautiful world outside the confines of your castle.” his statement fell from his lips as a fact, one that you had no ability to disprove. he could sense your hesitation. “think about it. we don’t have much time but i can give you a day. meet me back here tomorrow night and i will show you life outside of confinement.” he said as he mounted his horse, lingering for a brief moment in case you changed your mind. holding the reigns tight he spun the horse around, now facing deeper into the forest and preparing to depart.

“wait- i didn’t catch your name.” you spoke up. he peered over his shoulder, glancing back to you as he sat tall in the saddle, a small hint of silver catching the sunlight and drawing your attention to his chest. a small pendant hung from his neck, seemingly coming untucked from his tunic and revealing an engraving of a horses head, causing your breath to catch.

“you will know it in time, for now you can call me the dark horse.” he smirked before pressing his heels into the horses side, galloping away until he was fully out of sight, leaving you all alone.

rushing footsteps approached and you were quickly surrounded by confused guards, swords drawn as they searched the area. odium was one of them, quickly sheathing his sword as he came up to you and cupped your face in his hands. “what are you doing out here? are you hurt?” he asked, glancing around himself in search of any signs of danger. you shook your head, offering no explanation for your presence in the woods.

“was someone with you? we thought we heard voices?” another guard questioned, his sword still drawn as he stayed on high alert. you didn’t know why, but you lied, “no. no one was here. it was just me.” you said, voice almost a whisper. more footsteps approached and your irate father joined the guards. his booming voice filled the serene air and ordered for the guards to keep searching for the mysterious man in black and for odium to take you back to the castle. odium quickly obeyed, hand pressed firmly to the small of your back as he guided you out of the woods.

he was tense and you could tell that he was angry you were out of the castle in the first place. the walk back was completely silent, the only sound in your ears was his heavy footsteps.

when you ended up back in your room, being lectured by odium about the carelessness of your mistake, your mind couldn’t help but wander to the man in black and his offer of freedom. odium paced the foot of your bed, refusing to look at you as you sat on the edge of the mattress. the castle was grand and stood tall, but in that moment in had never felt so small and suffocating.

tomorrow night was the night you could finally choose your own destiny.

[incendiobrock]

(don’t hold me to it in case i don’t commit) but i lowkey wanna start writing for jordan huxhold if anyone would be interested

[ignite-stars]

nameless, dorian havilliard

summary, you were so, so familiar.

author’s note, back again with the angst, my favorite. <3 this is meant to be similar to one of dorian’s chapters when he was possessed by the valg.

He couldn’t remember his name.

He liked his name. It kept the memory of who he used to be alive. Without his name, he was forgotten— nothing more than a body buried six feet below the cold dirt his feet stood on. Why couldn’t he remember his name?

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that he had forgotten something as simple as his name, yet he could vividly recall every soul that had been stolen at his hands as he was forced to watch through the eyes of the body that used to once be his own.

The dark soul that had inhabited his flesh was slowly eating away his heart, and soon there would be nothing left of him to swallow. So why couldn’t he remember his name? In his dying moments, he would remain nameless.

Through midnight eyes that he used to wear smugly, he watched the grieving frame of someone he used to love as you mourned his death. You were painstakingly beautiful— to beautiful to be weeping for a man who could not remember his own name.

A familiar man with shortly-cropped, chestnut hair hauled you back as you fought to reach him. Your mouth was moving, calling out for something— or rather, someone.

He felt his traitorous lips move against his will, tugging into a daunting grin as the demon inside him taunted you for your weakness.

But you didn’t seem to care, only raging harder against the force holding you back. A man with white hair and tattooed skin rushed into his view, aiding the brunette in forcing you to retreat.

It wasn’t wrath fueling your actions, despite what it appeared. Fury didn’t drive the soul to fight against everything sensible.

Love was what drove you to fight for him, against all odds.

He strained to hear your voice over the deafening silence ringing throughout his head. He fought against the piercing hold of the demon just in time to hear the name fall from your trembling lips.

“Dorian,” you cried out as the white-haired male tossed you over his shoulder. Betrayal crossed your features, tears glimmering in your eyes as you realized you were losing him, you were losing Dorian.

Dorian. Your honeyed tone repeated in his mind like a mantra.

He wanted to smile, and he wanted to cry.

His name was Dorian.

[incendiobrock]

pushing it down and praying {chris sturniolo}

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pairing(s): ex bf!chris x fem!reader

summary: even in a new relationship — you just can’t seem to forget about chris.

warning(s): smut!! (p in v, creampie, spanking), cheating, language, drinking

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i’m in bed layin down, naked

he’s inside of me

i love him, kiss his mouth, prayin

he can’t see what i see

soft puffs of air slip past your lips as he hovers above you, holding himself up with one of his hands as the other tucks hair behind your ear gently. he ruts his hips into yours, your sweaty skin sticking together every time it meets. he leans down to connect his mouth to your jaw, peppering kisses all the way to your lips — a breathy moan escaping you in reply.

the kiss was tender and had you gripping at his shoulders for support, eyes fluttering shut as you didn’t dare to open them. “i l-love you.” he whispered out against the kiss, his voice breaking as he continued his slow, deep thrusts. a soft hum reverberated through your chest as you connected his lips to yours again — a wave crashing over you as his words pushed you over the edge. the words you never returned back to him.

the sheets were fully tossed to the side as your back sank down into the mattress, a soft sheen glistening over your naked body. with an expressionless stare you looked towards the ceiling, arms down by your side as you laid completely still. soft footsteps echoed through the room as he shuffled around, cleaning himself up after being satisfied with helping you do the same. your thoughts are interrupted by his lips pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead as he climbed back into bed, snuggling into your side as he drifted off to sleep. “goodnight beautiful..” he murmurs sleepily into your hair.

“night vince.”

when i close my eyes

you replace him

wearin no disguise

you erase him

it was wrong — you knew that it was. but how could you tell your mind to stop doing something that was out of your control? all it took was closing your eyes and then, and only then, were you exactly where you wanted to be. where you needed to be. if you thought about it hard enough — focused on it deep enough— then really he wasn’t actually gone, you hadn’t truly broken up.

at least that’s what you told yourself. it was where you drifted to as you walked side by side, fingers interlocked as you strolled through a park. or where you were when he kissed you deeply everyday once he returned home from work. and when it worked the most was when things were intimate — as long as you kept your eyes shut.

because how could you explain to him that his eyes were the same shade of blue as the ones of the person you loved before?

i wanna feel guilty

i wanna feel that it’s wrong

i wanna know peace again

wanna sing a different song

he had been gone all day. out for a business trip that he said would only last the day. midnight was his estimated arrival. you had been doing better, the thoughts less frequent and the spiraling was becoming more manageable.

you planned to spend the day doing some of your favorite things — reading your book, walking in the park, listening to some of your favorite vinyls, and so on and so forth. and you truly were going to do just that, waiting patiently on vince’s return. that is until you received an unexpected message…

after months of radio silence — chris had sent you a text.

it was simple and straight to the point, just a quick “i miss you” which he probably typed out and meant to delete but his finger slipped and hit the send button. as soon as it pinged your phone your heart nearly stopped beating. an instant wave of nausea settling over you as your fingers tremble over the keyboard. surely he knew that you were happily in a new relationship… every reply you typed out you quickly deleted, nothing sounded good enough to send back. finally, you settled on something rather snarky, letting him know that you were not interested and hadn’t been thinking of him at all.

lies.

but when there was that knock rasping at your front door, you found yourself rushing over in an instant. with nimble fingers, you unlocked the deadbolt, slowly pulling the door open. and when your eyes instantly found each other’s you knew that this disaster was only just beginning. “hey ma,” his voice filled the air, raspy and low, his hands tucked in the front pockets of his jeans. his hair had grown longer since the last time you’d seen him, dark, wavy tufts tucked beneath the brim of a black baseball cap. he wore his favorite baggy, black jeans — held up by his prized balenciaga belt. and to complete his outfit, a black chrome hearts t-shirt that was cut at the hem just enough to almost rest as slightly cropped.

“hi,” you whispered breathlessly.

i want you to need me

i need to want somethin more

he gives what he can

but now i don’t know what he’s givin for

your conscience was heavier than usual when vince returned home from work. it wasn’t like you and chris had even done anything. all you did was talk to him. vince wouldn’t know he was over, there was no way he could figure it out. so you weren’t sure why you were pacing the living room and twiddling with your thumbs. maybe it was stupid to have invited chris in, especially when you could’ve held up the lie that you hadn’t missed him like he claimed to miss you.

but it was when his eyes met yours — when they truly connected for the first time since that tear filled night when things ended — you caved. you allowed him into your apartment, the one you shared with vince, your current boyfriend.

and when vince came in through the front door and found you baking in the kitchen, he raised an eyebrow, “woah, what’s with all the mess?” his lips spread to a curious smile. flour coated the counters and some parts of the floor. your hands covered in dough as you rolled out some cookies onto a pan. you only ever baked when you were stressed out — he knew that.

his arms wrapped lovingly around you waist from behind, his chin resting on your shoulder as he pressed a kiss to your cheek, “wanna talk about it? is it work?” he asked in a soft whisper.

and after a bunch of made up excuses, and rambling on about work, you had made the perfect batch of remorseful cookies. vince glued to your side the whole time, his touch and gentle gestures only a constant reminder of who had been over just before he got home.

i'm in bed, layin down, naked

you're inside of me

i love him, kiss his mouth, sayin

"oh yeah, baby, touch and touch and touch and touch me"

in the weeks that followed you found yourself lying and sneaking around with chris. vince knew you had dated somebody before him, he knew that you had been in the relationship for awhile before the break up. he was unaware however, of the extent of the breakup and any and all details about the guy you dated. he was unaware that the late night texts you sent were to the person you swore was blocked on your phone. and he had no idea that when you were ‘just meeting with some friends’ that you were at his house — clothes discarded on the floor.

“fuckin shit, squeezin me so tight..” chris panted in your hair, his chest hovering over your back as he drove your hips into the mattress. helpless whimpers left your mouth, head moved to the side as your fingers gripped below at his bedsheets. chris nipped at your ear, rutting his hips deep inside of you, pressing against that spot that made you see stars. “does he fuck ya like this baby?” chris mumbled, his lips moving to dance down your shoulder, leaving a quick bite. you shook your head vigorously, “n-no chris… j-just you..” the words stumbling out between gasps.

he groans at your reply, gripping tightly at your ass before delivering a sharp smack. his body leaned back as he watched your pussy hungrily take him in, fluttering around his dick with each thrust. “nobody but me yeah?” he asked cockily, head reeling with a sense of pride and power. you cooed as his hands tightly locked over your hips, pulling them up off the bed as he lifted your ass into the air, driving himself impossibly deeper into you. his arm snaked around your waist as his fingers pressed firmly onto your sensitive clit, rubbing rough circles as your body began to tremble. “c-chris i can’t-“ you began to stammer, hands vigorously readjusting their grip on his sheets as you fought back pleasured tears.

“y’ got it..” he encouraged, his movements not halting for even a split second, milking you to your release. you buried your face into his pillow, coming undone around him as he flicked your clit. his hand tangled into your hair, pulling at it as he lifted your head from the pillow, “let me hear it ma.” he grunted lowly, chasing his own release as he worked you through your own. “don’t hide from me.”

“oh fuck- fuckkk, where do you want me?” chris groaned, his movements becoming sloppy as his own orgasm quickly began to flood through his body. “inside me.” you whined desperately, your walls clenching tightly against his dick. he grunted, lazily fucking into you a few more times before filling you up with his release. his eyes stayed trained on the way your pussy seemed to hungrily take him in, even now with your mix of fluids beginning to trickle down to your thighs. he dropped your hips, making you fall back onto your stomach as he slipped out of you.

chris collapsed at your side, his arm lazily slung over your waist, pulling you close to him. his lips ghosted over the skin on your shoulder as he spoke, “missed you… missed this.” he admitted, and it hurt you more than you liked to admit. a soft hum of agreement fell from your lips, your head turning on the mattress so you could face him. his bright, blue eyes locked onto yours, his breath delicately fanning over your face as you laid only inches apart. his fingers traced mindless patterns on your arm as he admired you. his voice filled the air again, only a soft whisper — just for you to hear, “y’ know, sometimes, i wish the whole break up-“

ring. ring. ring.

you groaned loudly, slipping out of chris’ arms to grab your phone off the nightstand. your heart ached as you saw the caller id, quickly sliding your finger to answer the call. “hello?” you said, holding the speaker up to your ear, trying to swallow down the sudden urge to vomit. “hey baby, i got done with work early so i’m headin’ back home. are you there? i was thinking maybe we could watch a movie or somethin’ tonight.” vince’s voice said into the speaker. you instantly swung your feet off the side of chris’ bed, beginning to shuffle around the room and grab all your discarded clothes. “uhh- i ran out to the store super quick but i’ll be back before you get there.” you quickly explained, trying to think of something believable. you could hear vince hum through the speaker, “oh what did you go out to get?” he asked curiously.

“oh- i um… i needed some more tampons..” you stammered, your heart pounding in your chest as you lied straight through your teeth. “i thought your period wasn’t for another week or so?” he questioned, making your face heat up with guilt — cheeks burning. you mentally cursed yourself as you spoke up again, “yeah you’re right but i don’t know… my stomach felt kinda weird today and i was almost out of tampons so i was just- making sure i had some in case it came early..”

“yeah, that makes sense. alright well, i’ll see you soon babe?” he said sweetly, the sound of his car unlocking echoing through the phone. you hummed in response, eager for the phone call to end. “i love you so much.” vince said.

“yeah, see you soon. bye.” you said quickly before hanging up the line. chris watched you carefully as you rushed to put on the rest of your clothes, shoving your phone into your bag before slinging it over your shoulder. his arms were rested behind his head, his legs crossed at the ankles as he observed. “so, i’m assuming you’re dipping?” he questioned, his voice making you jump slightly as he pulled you out of your thoughts. you quickly nodded your head, slipping on your shoes. “vince just called and said he got off work early.. he’ll be home in like twenty minutes so i gotta hurry.” you informed him. chris hummed, “ah- i see.” he said, the disinterest dripping off his tongue.

“i’ll text you?” you offered as you made your way to his bedroom door — hand already wrapped around the doorknob. chris nodded his head slightly, his demeanor completely different than it was just before you got the call. you couldn’t tell however, your mind too occupied with the intention of getting home before your boyfriend. with a curt wave you rushed out the door, leaving chris all alone as you rushed back to the person you claimed you didn’t want.

i wanna feel guilty

i wanna feel that it's wrong

i wanna know peace again

wanna sing a different song

vince was out at work again, chris knew his schedule by now — had it memorized down to the millisecond. he knew the exact moment vince would slip on his shoes to leave, all the way to the moment his key would jingle in the door as he returned home. that was the exact reason he had decided to call you, needing to hear your voice but too preoccupied to stop by your house.

“hey ma,” his voice rasped through the phone speaker. a small smile pulled on your lips as you held the phone to your ear, “chris.” you greeted back, your voice a whisper purely out of instinct to not get caught.

“you alone?” he wondered, hearing your hushed voice come through his phone. he walked around his room for a moment before settling at his desk, propping his feet up as he swayed slightly in his chair, his free hand absentmindedly fiddling with a lighter. his eyes trained on the flame as he flicked it on and off, watching it glow. “i’m alone.” you confirmed, sitting down in your living room, a picture of you and vince staring back at you as it sat neatly in its frame on the bookshelf. chris flicked the lighter again, a deep humming emitting from his throat.

“where’s your boyfriend?” he asked, his tone dripping with faux curiosity. the question made your heart ache as the picture continued to stare you down. “he’s at…”

“work. yeah, i know. jus’ wanted to hear y’ say it.” he finished your sentence for you, tossing the lighter onto his desk with a clatter before standing up from his desk chair. he sighed heavily, the phone rustling in your ear as he began to move. “when can i see you again?” he suddenly asked, the sound of him grabbing his keys echoing through the speaker. it was your turn to sigh as you shifted on the sofa, “i don’t know chris….”

“what do y’ mean?” he was quick to question, his movements momentarily pausing as he listened carefully to your next words.

“i mean… we probably shouldn’t… see each other anymore.” you whispered, the words harder to admit than you would like them to be. his tongue prodded at the side of his cheek as his eyebrows furrowed, “… and why not?” his free hand shoved its way into the front of his jean pocket, his fingers still tightly gripping on his car keys. a small pout formed on your lips as you shut your eyes, trying to keep yourself firm on your decision.

“it’s not fair to him… to vince.” you whispered, the slight waver in your voice not lost on chris. chris nodded his head, his lips pressing into a tight line as he hummed unamused, “but it’s fair t’ me?”

“chris, you know that’s not what i meant…” you sighed, shaking your head as you covered your eyes with your free hand, rubbing at your eyes. “i know baby… look i gotta go, m’ kay? text me when you decide you need a moment away from your new, little, boyfriend, yeah?”

and before you could even respond, the line went dead — just as the sound of keys began to jingle in the lock of your front door.

i want you to need me

i need to want somethin' more

he gives what he can

but now i don't know what he's giving for

you laid in chris’ bed, giggling at something he said as he sat across the room at his desk. every inch of his space smelled like his cologne. the room was practically untouched from the time you were together until now, everything still sat perfectly in its place. it was a little messy, some clothes scattered around and some cans of pepsi — some empty and some half full accompanying the clothes. but despite the slight mess, it strangely felt like home. a home that you missed despite choosing to move out — to move on.

chris swiveled in his gaming chair, a sly smile forming on his lips as he watched you lay across his bed. he admired you for a moment, your giggles filling the air, before he decided to speak up, “come over again tomorrow?” your giggles stopped as his voice replaced them, making you sit up slightly, propping yourself up on your elbows. his eyes met yours instantly, his tongue subconsciously slipping over his bottom lip. he noticed how your expression had completely changed, that smile you had been wearing since you arrived now gone.

“i can’t..” you whispered remorsefully. he frowned, pushing off his chair and making his way to the bed as he climbed on top of you, laying you back down against his mattress as he wrapped himself around you. “pleaseeee?” he pled, dragging out the word as he nuzzled his head into your neck, his hair tickling your cheek. you lazily wrapped your arms behind his neck, holding him close as he laid on top of you. “i can’t chris…” you restated, making him sigh. he pushed himself off you, laying down by your side as his eyes fixed on his ceiling.

“vince is dragging me to some party his friends invited him to.” you explained, glancing over at him. chris hummed, keeping his eyes up at the ceiling. you studied his face carefully, the strong definition of his jaw, the slight flutter of his eyelashes. a soft breath of air fell from your lips as you moved closer, laying your head on his chest.

“trust me, i don’t want to go-“ you started to say softly.

“-then don’t.” chris cut you off immediately, moving your bodies so that you were both laid on your sides, facing one another. he rested his forehead against yours, his eyes staring deeply into yours as a comforting silence hung in the air. “i have to.” you finally whispered, knowing that no matter how badly you wanted to be with chris, you had to go to that party. “then just shut y’ mouth and stop thinking about it right now…” he murmured before connecting his lips to yours in a slow, deep kiss — pulling a moan from your throat. his arms encircled your waist as he pulled you closer, his tongue tracing your bottom lip, begging for a taste of you. when your lips parted he wasted no time slipping his tongue in, melding it with yours as he deepened the kiss.

if only this never had to end.

softer, harder, in between

you know just how to get to me

he is stable, you are deep

i know just how to get what i need

hand in hand you and vince walked into the party. the music was loud, the floors were sticky from spilled alcohol, and there was a ton of people — some familiar faces scattered around. one of vince’s friends had invited him to be here and you joined as a plus one. he dropped your hand only a few minutes after coming in the doors, dapping up his friends as they came across each other — exchanging pleasantries.

“ah, this must be the girl we’ve heard so much about!” one of the guys said loudly over the music, sparing you a glance as you stood to the side. vince nodded his head, a hand placing on the small of your back as he guided you towards the circle of his friends, “this is her.” you sent the group a short smile, shaking their hands and introducing yourself briefly before breaking away to go grab a drink. the crowd parted as you pushed through towards the kitchen, ready to down some liquid courage. you filled a solo cup, swirling the ingredients around before taking a swig — vodka with a splash of punch. the liquid burned as it slid down your throat, making you nearly cough. it didn’t need to taste good. at least that’s what you reminded yourself as you took some more gulps, the liquor shooting warmth through your body and setting your skin ablaze.

if there was one good thing about being here with vince, it was the fact that he didn’t necessarily need to be by your side every second of the night. you however, did need a moment away and to yourself. after taking another sip of your vodka (with a hint of punch) your eyes fell on the crowd past the kitchen. a spark of electricity igniting through you as your eyes met somebody else’s. gulping down the swig you had taken your eyes widen slightly, chris was here. you muttered some curses under your breath, tucking your head down as you tried to slip out of the kitchen undetected. this was the last thing you needed right now.

“sorry, s’cuse me…” you murmured, zigzagging through the sea of bodies. the lights that flashed around the house made everybody’s face blurry, tumbling over your feet as the alcohol ran its course. a couple people sent you glares as you continued to push through, not even sure where you were expecting to end up besides away from chris. your heart caught in your throat as strong hands grasped your waist from behind, halting you in your place, “chris, not now i-“ you started, turning over your shoulder to be met with another set of blue eyes.

“huh baby? what’d you say?” vince asked curiously, his fingers holding onto your hip slightly tighter as he leaned in closer — the music almost too loud to hear what you had said. you bit your tongue for a moment, realizing your mistake and hoping he hadn’t heard your slip up. “did you say chris? who’s chris?” vince asked sweetly, his tone not showing any signs of aggression or jealousy — just pure wonder. “w-what? no i- i said your name…” you stammered, unknowingly avoiding his gaze as you glanced around the room, trying to make sure chris was far, far away. vince furrowed his brows, watching you carefully as your pupils frantically looked in every direction but his. “sweetheart are you sure you’re okay-“

“i said i’m fine vince.” you interrupted, arms crossing over your chest as your eyes finally met his. you held your plastic cup out, slipping it into his hand before speaking again, “i’m using the restroom. watch my drink, yeah?” turning on your heels, you began walking into the crowd again but vince was hot on your trail. “i’ll come with you.” he spoke over the music, catching your wrist in his hand before interlocking your fingers together as you dragged him through the room. he didn’t take his eyes off you as you slipped into the tiny bathroom. the room was dimly lit, a faint scent of citrus hanging in the air — likely from it being cleaned before the party. you thrummed your fingers against the porcelain of the vanity sink, looking deep into the mirror as your heart pounded in your chest.

frantically, you began rummaging and rustling through the bathroom, trying to make it seem like you were actually doing something from an outsiders perspective. vince has his ear pressed close to the door, trying to blindly keep an eye on you just with his ears. “you okay?” he called out through the door. you paused your fumbling around, glancing back at the door through the mirror, “mhm, all good.” you said. the door hit vince slightly as you finally emerged, making him jump trying to act like he wasn’t listening through the door. his hand immediately found its way to your lower back, “you ready? my friends are waitin’ on us.” you sent him an unassuming glance, nodding your head as you dipped back towards the party — your mind still elsewhere.

as the night wore on and more alcohol was consumed you found it increasingly harder to stay at vince’s side. his chatter with his friends was wearing you out, having no interest in sports or hearing about the girls that the others were fucking. swirling the drink around in your cup became the most interesting topic. the liquid sloshed against the sides as you absentmindedly rotated it around — drowning out all the extra noise.

“y/n?” a voice questioned, your head whipping up at the sound in surprise. a hand landed on your bicep, giving it a squeeze, “i didn’t know you were gonna be here.” chris smiled, acting as though he hadn’t already seen you from across the room earlier. your eyes were wide as you stared back at him, your breath catching in your throat as you felt vince slip into the other side of your body, arm wrapping around your waist. “you know him?” vince’s voice cuts through the air, a hint of jealousy laced in his words. you glance to your side, sparing him a quick once over as his hand tightens on your waist before your eyes fell back on chris. “uh… yeah, vince this is um.. this is-” you stammered, heart pounding viciously in your chest.

“-chris. old friends.” chris quickly stated, cutting you off as he held his hand out, firmly shaking vince’s. the cup in your hand trembled as you watched the interaction, you knew the game chris was trying to play — using your boyfriends lack of knowledge on your past relationship with him to his advantage. vince clicked his tongue, “ah- old friends? well.. i hate to cut your reunion short but we were just leaving.”

“what? vince i-“ you started to say before a stifled chuckle cut you off. “nice to meet you, chris.” vince stated pointedly before dragging your through the crowd by your hand. your shoes dragged on the floor as you tried to stop him from making you leave but it was no use, his strength no match for yours. as he stormed down the sidewalk with you stumbling behind his trail he pressed the unlock button on his car over and over, the headlights lighting up the walkway. roughly, he tossed your cup into the yard, the contents of your punch spilling all over the lawn as he yanked open the passenger door for you to get inside. you looked up at him with a gleam in your eyes, frozen outside of his car, “can’t we talk about this-“

“i don’t want to fucking talk to you right now. get in the fucking car.” you blinked away tears as you swallowed the hard lump in your throat, sinking quickly into your seat and moving out of the way as he slammed it shut behind you before making his way to the drivers seat.

the ride home was silent.

i wanna feel guilty

i wanna feel that it's wrong

i wanna know peace again

wanna be singin' a different song

“are you fucking serious?” vince asked harshly, pacing the foot of the bed as you sat directly on the edge of the mattress you both shared. you looked down at his feet, watching him pace as he let out angry huffs and sighs. “did you think i was stupid? you think i wasn’t going to find out about your little … lie?”

“what lie, vince?” you spat back, voice sharper than a knife. your eyes raised up, nearly unblinking as you stared at him dead on — as though you were challenging him, though you weren’t sure you really wanted to in this current moment. vince was never the kind of guy to get angry, or even raise his voice, but there was a light that seemingly had drained from his eyes as you watched him continue to pace.

he stopped dead in his tracks, his hand reaching out to you, “give me your phone.” a soft gasp of air escaped your lips as your eyebrows furrowed, clutching your phone tighter in your hands. he took a step forward, his hand still outstretched as you lightly shook your head. “give me your fucking phone.” shakily, you held your phone out to him, his fingers instantly wrapping around it as he yanked it away from you. he knew your password — he always had, but he never had reason to go through it (that he knew of) until after your run in with chris at the party. you watched silently as his fingers began searching through the contents of your phone, his face contorted into a scowl.

“vince i-“ your voice came out softly. he paused, glancing up to you before turning the screen to face you, “what’s this?” the screen showed texts between you and chris, vince beginning to scroll up to see the extent of all the messages you’d exchanged. you tugged your bottom lip between your teeth — an anxious habit of yours. he quirked his eyebrows at your silence, “nothing to say for yourself?” all you could do was shake your head, shrugging your shoulders slightly. you knew your voice would fail you if you tried to speak. what could you even say? he had caught you.

vince sighed deeply, locking your phone and tossing it behind you on the bed. “what the fuck- what the actual fuck..” he mumbled, beginning to pace the room again as his mind reeled. you pushed yourself off the mattress, walking over to him and attempting to catch his wrists in your hands. delicately, your fingers curled around his wrists, urging him to stop his pacing. with a scoff he yanked himself out of your grip, “nah, don’t touch me right now.. i think we need a break.”

“a break? vince are you serious?” you questioned, feeling your mouth drop open in shock. his eyes were brimmed with tears, his thumb and pointer finger pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to contain his anger. with a quick swipe of his hand across his face, rubbing away the frustration, he nodded his head, “i’m serious.” the burn in your heart and throat intensified, not because you were scared of losing him but because you knew he was too good for you anyways. pressing your lips into a tight line you shot him a half hearted smile, collecting your phone and purse and leaving your shared apartment.

it's only a question

if somebody brings it up

so, i'm pushing it down and prayin'

he won't see it when i come

a few days was all it took until you had made up with one another. only a few days of peace and quiet before you were back in a place somewhere in between heaven and hell. you knew vince was too good for you — too forgiving, too in love…

so when you found yourself tangled in your sheets with him yet again you had no one to blame but yourself as you stared off into space. he whispered sweet nothings into your ear, pressing light kisses into your temple. “oh sweetheart… i love you s’much…” he murmured, his voice unsteady as he gently rocked his hips. “only i treat you this good.” he stated softly as you continued to stare at the white ceiling.

“only you.”

i'm pushing it down and prayin'

[incendiobrock]

russian roulette {chris sturniolo}

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

pairing(s): mafia!chris x fem!reader

warnings: language, drinking, mentions of sex, angst, chris is lowkey toxic

summary: chris doesn’t know how to take accountability for his actions. (loosely based on the song above)

not proofread bc i’m lazy oopsies

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

the air was brisk as my heels clicked along the pebbled road. begrudgingly, i wrapped my arms tightly around my body, trying to pull my black fur coat closer to my freezing skin. the doorman gave me a curt nod as i approached the entrance to the grand hotel, not needing my name as he already knew who i was. i brushed past him, entering into the lobby and making my way over to the event i was being forced to attend.

with soft whispers of ‘pardon me’, ‘excuse me’ i was able to snake through the crowd. everybody was wearing formal attire, the room mainly filled with men in suits and ties. in a large circle, the most important men stood talking amongst themselves. without a sound, i slipped into my spot, not drawing any attention to my late arrival. an arm immediately snaked around my waist, the hand squeezing my hip as a hot breath tickled against my ear, “finally.” i swallowed the small lump in my throat, looking up and to the side to send him a tight lipped smile, silently apologizing for my tardiness. he didn’t look back, his face firm as he listened intently to one of the other men speaking, a glass of whiskey held tightly in his free hand.

the lack of his gaze caused my attention to shift to the rest of the circle. only men. “well, this is a huge business opportunity for us and i know that you will get it done.” one of the men spoke, wrapping up the conversation just as i had begun to listen. the man stepped forward, breaking the circle and holding his hand out, “pleasure, mr. sturniolo.” the man’s voice husked out, chris’ arm immediately leaving my waist as he gave the man a firm handshake. chris smirked, thanking the man and patting his shoulder a couple times, promising to not let him down. as the crowd dissipated i could feel my heartbeat began to rise at the obvious tension between me and chris.

“care to explain? or did you think you were just going to stay quiet all night?” his voice dripped with venom as he finally turned to look at me, gazing down and taking a quick scan of my figure wearing the fur coat and tight dress he had specifically purchased for me to wear. the room began to feel hot under his gaze, the fur of my coat beginning to suffocate me. “i’m sorry chris-“ i began, my voice barely a whisper. “-sorry doesn’t cut it.” his words taking over mine. “you knew that tonight was the most important night for me.. for the business.” all i could do was nod in response, fidgeting with the expensive bracelet that laid on my wrist (another request that i had to wear). chris huffed as he continued on, swirling the whiskey glass in his hand, “you made me look like a fucking idiot you know that?” the question cutting through me like a knife.

“they chose me, the youngest out of all the men, to do this for them… organized this whole event so we could talk business and so they could present me with this opportunity, and my girlfriend doesn’t even show up until the fucking end.” he rambled on, his frustration showing as he took a swig of his drink out of the glass. i knew there was no point in arguing back, there never was, but for some reason i couldn’t help but try to defend myself. “i’m only thirty minutes late chris..” my voice was still soft, a slight tremble evident in my tone. chris huffed again, his free hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose in annoyance. he let his eyes flutter shut as he tried his best to contain himself, to not make a scene in front of all of these important business partners. quickly, he dropped his hand back to his side, his face filled with anger as he looked at me once more, “if you were going to be late, you should’ve just stayed home.” i stumbled slightly on my feet as he pushed past me, leaving me alone in the corner.

a shaky sigh fell past my lips, my clammy hands rubbing down the front of my fur coat as i continued to grow warmer and warmer. after i spent a few moments collecting myself, i walked carefully over to the bar, making sure to hold my head high and confident. despite the pain i felt about the argument we had, everybody here knew who i was, who i belonged to. if i broke, or even cracked, it would be bad for his image. the image he cared so much about, the ego of being the youngest and only twenty four year old in the business. so as i made it to the bar, pulling out the chair, i kept my expression clear of any imperfections. the bartender quickly noted my presence and made his way over. “a glass of cabernet, please,” i ordered quickly, my eyes scanning the room for chris before returning to the bar where the bartender poured my glass of red wine.

“here you are.” the bartender said, sliding the glass towards me carefully. i grabbed the stem of the glass, pulling it closer to me as i began to fiddle around in my clutch for my wallet. “no- please.. it’s on the house.” the bartender quickly stated, nodding his head before he left to go attend to the other side of the bar. my mouth hung open slightly in shock, stuffing my wallet back into my clutch. i sipped on the wine, observing the room once more with no sign of chris. a soft scoff fell from my mouth as my eyes were trained on the dark red lipstick stain on the wine glass, lost in my thoughts. the music drowned out everybody’s voices besides the one in my head. ‘it’s not like i tried to be late’ i thought.

after a few more glasses of wine i decided to freshen up in the bathroom, the event still in full swing. my sight tunnel vision as i headed through the opulent hotel lobby, the bathroom hallway in the distance. a hand caught my wrist, pulling me backwards before i could make it into the hall. my head whipped around to see chris dragging me into another circle of people, his other hand on my hip, guiding me to face the crowd. “-i couldn’t do it without her.” chris stated with a confident smile, continuing his conversation with some men who looked important. before i could process what was happening, he pulled me closer into his side and grabbing my chin with his hand before connecting our lips together in a kiss. shocked, i halfheartedly kissed him back, his lips tasting of whiskey and spearmint gum. as he pulled back from my lips his hand traveled from my waist down to squeeze my ass, “you can go now baby, didn’t mean to hold you up.” he said, nodding his head back towards the hallway were he originally pulled me from. my eyebrows furrowed as i shot him a look only he could see. i stumbled backwards slightly as i went to step away from the group, his hand squeezing my ass once more as i turned over my shoulder.

pushing open the bathroom door, i quickly walked to the mirror looking at my own reflection. teary eyes stared back at me, finally able to feel my emotions now that i was out of shot from prying eyes. mascara ran down my cheeks, splotching the makeup i had spent hours perfecting. i felt pathetic as i watched myself cry in front of the mirror, my face turning red from embarrassment. the bathroom door swung open as somebody else walked in to use a stall, my head immediately dropping to my chest as i quickly snatched a tissue to pat my tears. suddenly, the sound of my phone ringing broke the silence of the bathroom nearly making me drop my clutch in surprise. “fuck-“ i muttered as i fumbled through the bag in search of my phone. shoving my wallet, lipsticks and liners, a pack of gum, and some tampons around i finally fished my phone out.

“h-hello?” my voice broke slightly as i picked up the call. i could feel my hand trembling as i held it to my ear, my heartbeat and breathing probably loud enough to be heard through the speaker. “where are you?” chris asked harshly. “i was… just freshening up in the bathroom.” i responded, quickly drying the rest of my tears and throwing my clutch over my shoulder. “we’re leaving.” chris demanded. “o-okay i’m coming-“ “i’m in the car. you better hurry or else you’re walking back.” his voice cut me off. my heart strained at his words, “yeah… i’ll be right out.” i muttered into the phone. without another word, chris hung up the phone, the sound of the disconnected call beeping in my ear.

my feet ached from my heels as i walked out of the hotel, searching the parking lot for the black rolls royce. a slight drizzle fell from the dark night sky casting a haze over the city. my skin prickled with goosebumps as i pulled the fur coat tighter around me, walking quickly down the sidewalk towards the car. i fumbled with the door handle, the drizzle picking up to a light rain. the door was locked, my knuckles wrapping lightly on the tinted window wishing to be out of the cold rain. as soon as the door unlocked i quickly pulled the door open, throwing my bag to the floor as i hurried into the passenger seat. before i could barely shut the door, chris was slamming down on the gas, steering the car recklessly around the other parked cars in the hotel’s roundabout. my eyes glanced over at him, his knuckles white as he gripped the wheel tightly, not uttering a word to me. i sunk back into the leather seat, swallowing the lump reforming in my throat. the car was completely silent besides the squealing of the tires as he sped down the road.

as the highway flew past us, rain pelting the windshield, i finally decided to speak up. “can we talk about this please?” my voice coming out weaker than i had intended it to. all chris did was scoff as his grip seemed to tighten even more on the steering wheel, his gaze dead set on the road ahead. “i said i was sorry chris… please, forgive me?” i pleaded, knowing he was capable of holding this grudge for days. my hand reached out, resting on his bicep slightly before he shrugged me off. “chris-“

“i don’t wanna fucking talk to you.” he finally snapped. my body trembled as his words echoed in my ears. “what can i do? how can i make it up to you?” i whispered. chris rolled his eyes, refusing to look my direction. slowly, i rested my hand on his thigh, trying to break down his walls and get him to talk it out. he gripped my hand tightly, removing it from his thigh before dropping it back down onto my leg, “i said fuck off y/n, yeah?” a brief silence falling over the car once more. defeated, i nodded my head before turning to look out the passenger window for the remainder of the drive. chris pulled into the garage, throwing the car into park and quickly stepping out of the car. i jumped as the car door slammed behind him, still looking out the passenger window. my eyes fluttered shut as i tried to steady my breathing but before i got the chance my own door was ripped open, chris standing to the side. “come on.” i opened my eyes, seeing his hand outstretched for me.

timidly, i placed my hand into his, swinging my legs out of the car before standing up, his hand supporting mine. his fingers laced between mine as he led the way into the house, opening the door for me and allowing me in first. i nodded my head in thanks as i stepped into the foyer, immediately shrugging off my fur coat so i could hang it on the coat rack. “i got it.” chris said softly, taking the coat from me and hanging it up, running his hand down the back to smooth out the fur. silently, we both walked to the bedroom where chris once again opened the door. i slipped inside and immediately sat on the edge of the bed, grimacing as i shifted my feet inside the heels. chris kneeled in front of me, propped up on one knee. his rough hand ran over my shin, squeezing it before lifting it to rest on his raised knee. he tenderly slipped off my heel, massaging my foot before switching to do the other.

my eyes watched him carefully, a soft hum of satisfaction falling from my lips as i was relieved from the discomfort of my shoes. gently, he placed both my feet back down on the hardwood floors. his hand ran up my leg again before stopping at my thigh, patting it before standing up off the floor. his body towered over mine as i stayed slumped at the edge of the bed, my eyes drooping as my vision blurred. he leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of my head. “want some comfier clothes?” he asked softly. i lazily nodded my head and he immediately went to find me something to wear other than my dress. i fiddled with the jewelry i was wearing, carefully taking it off and placing it delicately on the side table. chris walked back over with a big, soft t-shirt, one of my favorites of his to wear. my fingers brushed his as i took it from his hands. i reached awkwardly behind my back, struggling to find the zipper on my dress. chris placed his hands on my shoulders, turning me around so that my back was facing him, “here, let me.”

slowly, chris pulled the zipper down, revealing the bare skin of my back. he slipped the sleeves over my shoulder, letting the dress fall down to my ankles in a puddle. a firm kiss pressed against my shoulder blade, followed by a few more quick pecks up the back of my neck. “i know i was a dick tonight…” chris mumbled into my hair, planting another kiss to the side of my neck. i let out a soft hum in reply, his words only half registering in my sleepy mind. he pressed some more deliberate kisses along my neck and shoulder blade, his hands wrapping around my stomach and pulling my back against his chest. “s’pretty baby…” he whispered, the ghost of his lips hovering over my bare skin. i leaned my head back against his chest, my eyes shutting as i finally felt my emotions evening out for the first time the whole night. chris pulled me impossibly closer, “shower with me?” he asked softly. i shook my head softly, “m’ tired chris…” i whispered reluctantly. his hands now rested on my hips, slotting my ass perfectly on his lap. he frowned slightly, leaning back down to kiss my neck, beginning to gently suck on it.

“please baby? need you so bad…” he almost whimpered. i shook my head again, taking a slow step out of his grip and climbing onto the bed. “you go ahead, i’ll be here when you get back.” i assured him, pulling the t-shirt he had brought over my head. surprisingly he didn’t protest any further, quietly turning on his heel and going to take a shower. i pulled the covers over my body, the emptiness of the bed making me shiver slightly. hopefully chris wouldn’t take too long…

my eyes began to flutter shut as i lost my battle against my drowsiness, only awakening to the feeling of the bed dipping. through lidded eyes i saw chris with curly damp hair, some pieces sticking to his forehead. he quickly snuck under the covers, pulling them up over his bare torso. “sleepy baby?” he whispered, scooting closer to me and resting his arm over my waist as he laid on his side facing me. i hummed softly, nodding my head as i struggled to keep my eyes open. his hand moved to gently tuck some hair behind my ear, leaning forward to connect his lips gingerly against my forehead. “i was such an asshole to you tonight… i know you hate going to all my events and stuff that i have to attend..” he started. i shifted slightly on the bed, moving closer into the warmth of his body. “s’okay chris… don’t worry about it.” i murmured, still halfway asleep. his thumb brushed over my cheek, “you were crying?” he whispered. my eyes opened slowly, beginning to feel slightly more alert. i furrowed my eyebrows, unsure of why he was asking me that question. without another word he began to pepper my cheek with kisses making my heart flutter.

“i know i hurt you… let me make it up to you, please?” he murmured, his lips moving down to my jaw. his hand slipped beneath my t-shirt, running over the skin on my stomach and side. this is what he always did. it was never an apology, it was a negotiation. he would make me feel good, never own up to his hurtful behavior, and then do it all over again the next time. and for some reason i would always fall for it, maybe because i was foolishly in love… his fingers began to toy with the waistband of my panties, teasingly slipping under ever so slightly. a quiet, muffled whine left my lips before i could stop myself. “s’pretty… all for me yeah?” his voice was low and seductive. “chris…” i said, my tone slightly warning, my body wriggling beneath his taunting touches. he hummed into my skin, kissing lower down my neck. “tell me what you want babygirl..” he nipped at the soft skin on my neck, skillfully swiping his tongue on it after to soothe the pain.

“you can’t just… fuck the feelings away,” i mumbled, halfheartedly pushing at his chest to try and put some distance between us. he leaned back, propped up on his elbow as he searched my face with confusion. “what do you mean?” he questioned, his fingers now tracing up and down my arm. i sighed, unsure of why i had chosen tonight of all nights to confront his inability to accept his wrongdoings. “you really hurt me tonight chris.” i stated, looking deep into his eyes as he continued to study my face. his fingers stilled on my arm as my words filled his ears, “i know… that’s why im trying to make it up to you.” his reply lacking any notion that he was understanding my hesitation. my body shifted on the mattress, trying to escape his touch. “that’s my point chris… you can’t just kiss it better.” his eyebrows furrowed as a toothy smirk took over his face.

“that’s why i’m trying to fuck it better,” he clarified, playfully poking at my sides as he grinned. i gasped as i struggled to not laugh, slapping his hands away in protest of being tickled. “s-stop,” i choked out between soft, short giggles, still swatting at his hands. he smiled, pulling his hands away and holding them up in surrender, allowing me to catch my breath. as i sucked in some air, calming my heat rate, i thought of my next words. “you do this every time we fight… you think we can just have sex and then you never have to actually apologize… it’s like you don’t know how to take any sort of accountability.” i said, laying my cards fully out on the table. he scoffed, rolling his eyes dramatically. “oh come on… i apologize.” he countered, his eyes narrowing slightly as he looked at me. i shook my head side to side, “you don’t chris… you never have.” my voice barely above a whisper.

he moved closer to me again, his arm wrapping around my waist as his face hovered inches above mine. “well, that’s what the sex is for… i make you feel good and then you forget about when i made you upset…” he whispered back, his thumb returning to my cheek. i shut my eyes, squeezing them slightly as his words dug at my heart. “i don’t want the sex, chris.” he stroked my cheek gently, watching my face as i scrunched my nose. for once, he stayed quiet, silently urging me to keep speaking. “sometimes… i just want to hear you say you’re sorry for hurting my feelings.” i admitted, opening my eyes again to look at him as he processed my words. something changed in his eyes, the dark lust washing away as it was replaced with a slight twinge of sadness. my breath caught in my throat as i waited for a reply, expecting him to come up with some sort of excuse. “i’m sorry…” he finally whispered after a moment of silence. i felt my heart nearly stop beating at his words, my stomach dropping. more silence fell over the bedroom as he looked deeply into my eyes, noting the pain behind my words. “i’m so sorry. you don’t deserve to be treated the way i treated you tonight.”

the sincerity in his words was foreign. the concept of accountability long lost on his end, yet here he was finally putting in an effort. it meant more to me than he probably ever could imagine. “if i weren’t so in love with you i would’ve left you a long time ago…” my words came out as my voice cracked. he quickly shifted on the bed, laying back on the black, silk pillowcase. “come ‘ere…” he whispered, slipping his arm under my neck and pulling me into his side. i curled into him, tucking my head into his chest as he rested his chin on my head. a firm hand rubbed up and down my back soothingly. the cool metal of his silver bracelet brushing over my skin as he slipped his hand under my shirt. i didn’t dare move as i stayed glued to his side. the scent of his cologne lingered in my nostril, filling me with a warm sense of familiarity and comfort. the warmth of his body luring me to sleep. chris stared up at the ceiling, watching as the fan spun while i drifted off to sleep in his arms. he pulled me closer, a heavy sigh leaving his lips as he mulled over my last words.

‘if i weren’t so in love with you i would’ve left you a long time ago.’

[incendiobrock]

you get me so {chris sturniolo}

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

pairing(s): stoner!bff!chris x innocent!bff!reader

warning(s): smoking weed, language, sloppy make out

summary: when you need a break from your college work and request to smoke, chris is happy to help you out.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

textbooks were scattered across the floor, packets of papers and an open laptop not far behind. a wooden pencil fidgeted between your fingers, drumming lightly on one of the books as your eyes skimmed the pages. the room was dimly lit, the only light emitting from some string lights and a small desk lamp. a vinyl spun softly in the background, filling the room with deftones, and that familiar scent that lingered in the air.

dior sauvage, incense sticks, and a slight hint of weed was the best way to describe it. it was a scent you had grown to love, a scent that reminded you of him. a soft groan escaped your lips, your head pounding from the hours spent studying and taking countless (useless) notes. the carpeted floor was no longer offering any comfort as you struggled to lay in a better position.

“why don’t you take a break?” his voice filled the air, breaking the comfortable silence that had last between the two of you for the past hour or so. you looked over your shoulder to see him sitting against his headboard, looking down at you as you laid on the ground at the foot of his bed. with a sigh you shut your laptop, “i can’t… i still have to catch up on my lecture and start my thesis for-“

“-ah, ah, ah.” he tsked, cutting off your sentence. “you told me one more hour like.. two hours ago.” he looked at you pointedly, eyebrows slightly raised as he mentioned the promise you’d made to him to at least take a break. glancing down at your watch, you realized how much time had passed, feeling even more doomed for the amount of work you still had left. quickly, you stacked up all your textbooks, moving the pile out of the middle of the floor before you stood up to stretch.

“okay. i’ll take a break but i can only wait about thirty minutes before i need to get back to my work.” you agreed, crawling to sit at the end of the bed, facing him. he shifted slightly before patting the space besides him, “c’ mere.” his voice muttered softly. as soon as you fell into place beside him, his arm wrapped over your shoulders, tucking you into his side. “you work too hard, y’ know?” he whispered. leaning into his side you shrugged your shoulders, your eyes fluttering shut slightly as your head continued to pound.

his fingers idly traced the skin of your arm, looking down at you, carefully taking in your expression. “just relax ma.. i gotchu, you know that.” his words tickled the top of your head, his lips brushing against your hair. “do you have weed?” you asked suddenly, catching him completely off guard. his fingers still against your arm, his breath hitching slightly in shock. you tilt your head back slightly to look up at him as he shifts his away from you, “what’re you talking about?” he asked with a slight chuckle.

his fingers began to trace your skin once again as he continued to speak, “course i got some weed.” a short silence hung over the both of you again as you nodded your head. chris couldn’t help but smirk softly, his free hand reaching over to lightly poke at your side, “why? you want some?” he asked, almost jokingly, knowing that you had never been one to smoke before. in fact, you were always getting onto him for it, telling him that it was a bad habit, even though he insisted that it wasn’t addictive and you had nothing to worry about.

“yeah,” you replied softly, nodding your head. his eyebrows furrowed, moving his body so he could get a closer look at your face. “wait… you’re serious? are you sure?” he quickly asked, trying to decipher if you were joking. something about his concern for you made your heart flutter, butterflies swirling in your stomach as you looked into his deep blue eyes. chewing on the inside of your cheek, you nodded again, “i’m sure… don’t you always tell me that it will make me feel relaxed?”

his face shifted into a slight smile as you recalled what he had said to you in the past. “depends on the strain but yeah. it can help ya relax.” he nodded, impressed that you had remembered that conversation from however long ago. the vinyl scratched slightly as the record ended, making chris immediately get out of bed. he lifted the record off the turntable, shuffling through his collection in search of something new to put on.

your eyes were glued to his back, taking in the sight of his ruffled waves, lowly hanging black sweats, and his signature dark grey zip up jacket. as he placed a new record onto the turntable you spoke up again, “so you have the relaxing kind?” he chuckled, turning around to walk back over to you. “oh, you really weren’t kidding?” he chuckled, standing at the side of the bed as he pulled open the drawer to his side table. his hands shifted through miscellaneous trinkets and papers before he pulled out a metal zippo lighter and a small rectangular case.

sitting cross legged in front of you on the bed, he placed the materials in between the both of you. a small lump formed in your throat as you looked down at the two objects in front of you, chris hadn’t even opened the case yet and you already felt nervous… he glanced up at you, watching as you looked down at the sheets. “are you sure you want to?” he asked carefully, making your eyes meet his. you swallowed the lump in your throat as you nodded your head slowly, “i-i want to but…”

“don’t worry… i know what i’m doing.” he reassured, shooting you a playful wink as he began to open the case, revealing five perfectly rolled blunts. the scent of weed instantly became stronger, filling your nostrils as you looked down at the blunts. carefully, you picked one of them up, spinning it between your fingers as you examined it. “promise it’ll help ya relax.” he stated, gently placing his hand over yours as he took the blunt from you. carefully, he placed the end of the joint in between his lips before grabbing the lighter. “just gonna get it started for ya,” he informed, his words slightly muffled as he continued to hold the joint in his mouth.

your eyes stayed glued to him as you watched him skillfully cup one hand around the joint, bringing the lighter up with his other hand. the flame flicked on as the bud glowed red for a brief second before he took in a breath, the rolling paper now lit. the small puff of smoke blew past his lips as he took the joint from his mouth, handing it towards you. “don’t breathe too hard,” he warned as you gently took the joint from him.

“all you gotta do is take a small breath, hold it in for a few seconds and then let it back out.” he instructed, giving his head a short nod to encourage you. shakily, you brought the filter up to your mouth, your lips wrapping around it before glancing back up at chris. “y’ got it..” he encouraged, nodding his head again as he looked at you.

slowly, you took a deep inhale of the joint, the smoke immediately burning your throat and lungs. you stifled a cough as you tried to hold the smoke in, your hand quickly passing the joint back to chris. “atta girl. there you go.” he smiled, watching as you slightly choked on the hit. when you finally breathed out the smoke, a fit of coughs filled the air. chris chuckled, placing the joint back in his mouth as he reached over and grabbed a water bottle off his night stand, unscrewing the cap before passing it to you. he lazily took another hit, inhaling and exhaling the smoke like it was as smooth as the water you were now chugging.

“shit burns,” you rasped out, pulling the bottle of water away for a second before continuing to drink. chris couldn’t help but chuckle at you again, his hand reaching out to rub your thigh, “you get used to it.” your hand brushed his as you slowly took the joint again, determined to take a few more puffs despite the burning. as soon as you placed it back in your mouth you could feel his gaze on you, intense and slightly lazy. glancing up at him you noticed the slight squint in his eyes, glossing over his pupils. his hand continued to soothe your thigh as you smoked more of his joint.

by the time the first side of the vinyl played through, the joint had burned all the way down to the filter. chris’ attention immediately shot over to the turn table, sighing as he got off the bed to flip the track. watching him suddenly felt more surreal, like you weren’t sure if it was just a dream or if your mind was really moving that slow. it felt like you were watching a stop motion video, or like someone was reeling through an old timey film roll. blinking suddenly felt long and drawn out, your body almost melting into his mattress.

chris had made it back to the bed, lazily smiling as he looked over you. “feelin’ okay?” he questioned softly, laying down besides you as you still sat cross legged. all you could do was nod your head, an equally lazy smile pulling on your lips. as he studied your face he could tell that the weed had worked, making your movements slightly slower, your eyes glossy and squinted. his hand wrapped gently around your wrist, pulling you to lay beside him.

“you know what will make you feel even more relaxed?” he asked softly, allowing you to place your head on his bicep as you scooted close. “hmm?” you lazily hummed, making him smile. he pulled you tighter, his hand slipping under the hem of your shirt as he began to rub your back. his lips press a firm kiss to the top of your hair, his eyes closing as he focused on holding you close. your skin prickled with goosebumps as his hand softly rubbed the skin of your back, his scent now fully engulfing you as you nuzzled your head into the crook of his neck. you took in a big breath, allowing his scent to fill every inch of your nose.

he moved back slightly to look at you, his hand moving from your back to cup your face, his thumb rubbing gently over your cheekbone. “y’ work too hard…” he whispered genuinely, taking in every single feature of your face. “doesn’t it feel nice to just lay here…. relaxed?”

you blinked softly as you looked at him, your words slurring together slightly as you agreed, “feels nice…” a small smile formed on his face as his thumb moved down, idly running over your lips. he couldn’t help but stare as they parted instinctively. “so fuckin’ pretty…” he whispered, making your body tingle, cheeks flushing. you were used to his compliments but this time it felt different. maybe it was because of the weed, or maybe it was the way he was looking at you. you shivered under his touch as his thumb lightly grazed over your lips again, gently pulling at your bottom lip. his gaze was glued to them, almost as if he had forgotten that your eyes even existed. “wanna kiss you so bad…” he mumbled his confession, your heart nearly stopping at his words.

you weren’t sure if he had even meant to say that out loud, or if he had even realized that he had. “so do it.” you whispered back, the weed induced haze clouding your mind. his eyes finally shot back up to meet yours, his expression almost shocked like you somehow reached into his thoughts and read his mind, though he was the one who had slipped up. he searched your face for any signs of hesitation and when he didn’t see any you gave him a subtle nod, letting him know it was okay. that was all he needed to pull you close, his hand resting on your jaw as he carefully, slowly connected your lips.

you hummed softly into his mouth, kissing him back with that same, slow, passion. he took his time, his thumb gently tracing your jaw as his lips melted into yours. you felt his tongue lazily trace your bottom lip, asking for permission that you were happy to give as you carefully parted your lips. his tongue danced with yours, allowing you to taste him, spearmint and the lingering hint of weed. when he finally broke away you were both breathless. his forehead rested against yours, the tips of your noses brushing together. “god, i’ve wanted to do that for such a long time…” he confessed breathlessly. your fingers mindlessly played with the ends of his hair, “you should get me high more often if this is the outcome.” you whispered, boldly. he smiled, moving you carefully to lay on your back as he hovered above.

“deal.” he whispered back, reconnecting your lips as his hand now held your waist.

[incendiobrock]

would anybody be interested in me starting an au series for this story????

stoner chris x innocent reader

yessssss pleaseeee

no thanks

Voting ended onJun 4, 2025

[incendiobrock]

i’m working on what i think could be one of the best things i’ve ever written ….. i’m excited to share w you 👀

[sturniolobliss-deactivated20250]

⌗ . . . ❛ 𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬 ❜ christopher sturniolo.

warnings ◞ ˚˖ ࣪ ex!chris, emotional vulnerability, drunk calling, explicit and suggestive content, heartbreak, longing, mentions of masturbation, guilt . . . etc.

note ◞ ˚˖ ࣪ bow divider by @/bernardsbendystraws · · ୨୧

you miss the first call. then the second. by the time your phone lights up for the third time—chris, glowing across the screen—your chest tightens with that old, unwelcome ache you've spent weeks trying to forget.

you don't answer.

not the fourth time. not the fifth.

by the seventh, he stops calling. starts leaving voicemails instead.

you stare at the notifications for a while, thumb hovering. you know better. you know exactly what this will do to you.

still, you press play.

voicemail one — 2:06am

0:47

"hey. s'me. i mean… obviously s'me, right?"

he laughs, light and bitter. you can already tell he's been drinking. his voice is thick, a little slower than usual.

"i don't even know why m'calling. i shouldn't be. i just—fuck. i miss you. i know m'not supposed to say that. i swore i wouldn't say that.”

a pause. you can hear him breathing.

"i think you'd be proud, though. i've been really good at pretendin'. like you don't come up when someone mentions that movie we loved or when i see someone with that hairstyle you always got or hear a song that sounds like you. i jus' swallow it. every time. like s'nothin'. but tonight i guess i forgot how to do that."

beep.

voicemail two — 2:11am

1:28

"you remember that playlist you made me? the one with all the dumb transitions? i listened to it tonight."

a quiet sound, maybe the shuffle of him sitting down.

"it still smells like you in my hoodie. i don't even wear it anymore. jus'—jus' leave it folded. fuck, i sound pathetic."

another pause. longer this time. then:

"i keep dreamin' 'bout you. about your hands. about the way you used to look at me when y'wanted somethin'. i wake up hard and aching and still smelling you in the sheets, even though you're not there. even though s'jus' me."

his voice drops, softer now, tired.

"you ruined me, y'know that?"

beep.

voicemail three — 2:18am

2:14

"i keep tryin' to find pieces of you in other people."

the silence on this one stretches. you hear the drag of a sigh, like he's trying not to cry.

"but they don't laugh like you. they don't kiss like you. they don't know how to touch me the way you did. no one ever fuckin' knew like you did."

his voice breaks on that last part. your throat goes tight.

"and i hate it. i hate you for it. for knowin' me that well. for leavin' anyway."

then quieter, like it slips out without permission—

"i'd let you wreck me again if it meant you'd come back."

beep.

voicemail four — 2:24am

3:09

he's whispering now. and you realize, with a jolt, he's not alone in his bed.

he's talking to you like you are.

"you used to say my name so sweet, remember? chris. chris. chris—like it was yours."

a rustle of blankets, maybe skin.

"sometimes i touch myself to the sound of your voice. not even dirty shit—jus' the way you'd say good morning. or fuck off. or i love you."

your breath catches.

"m'hard right now. been hard since the second ring."

you freeze.

"i don't care if you listen to this. i want you to. i want you to know you still do this to me. that no one's ever made me fall apart jus' by existing."

he groans softly.

"you always knew how to break me. and you always loved it."

beep.

voicemail five — 2:32am

4:11

"y'said no one else would understand me the way you did."

he's breathless now. slower. like he's working through something, deep in it.

"you were right. they don't."

a low noise—his throat, a choked-off moan.

"i was gonna call someone else tonight. someone easy. but it didn't feel right. because she's not you. her hands aren't yours. her mouth doesn't taste like fire and vanilla chapstick and every fuckin' thing i ever needed."

you close your eyes, biting your lip.

"if you were here right now, i'd get on my knees. tell you m'sorry. beg. let you sit on my face until i couldn't breathe. jus' to feel useful again."

his breathing is louder now. uneven.

"you always made me feel owned. and i fuckin' loved it."

beep.

voicemail six — 2:38am

1:59

"i came," he says, and it's so quiet, so wrecked, your heart nearly caves in.

"i came thinkin' about you. still holdin' my phone. still waitin' for you to pick up."

he laughs, but it's hollow.

"you didn't. you won't. i know.”

a pause.

"but fuck, i needed you to hear it. needed you to know i still think about you. every time. every fuckin' time."

another pause. longer. heavier.

"god, m'so tired. i miss your voice. i miss your laugh. i miss your mouth and the way you used to pull my hair and tell me to be quiet."

you can hear it again in his voice—the unspoken thing underneath.

"you always ruined me in the best ways. i think you still are."

beep.

voicemail seven — 2:43am

0:22

"delete these," he says, voice almost clear this time.

"or don't. i don't care. jus'… don't hate me more than you already do."

a soft inhale.

"i meant all of it."

click.

꒰ 🏷️ ꒱ : @sturniolo-szn2 / @mattscoquette / @sturnsflirt / @tezzzzzzzz . . . .ᐟ

comment or message to get added · · ୨୧

[incendiobrock]

ouch (but in the best way possible)

[emeraldsturns-deactivated202505]

matt’s girlfriend texting chris’s girlfriend about chris:

[incendiobrock]

lmfao accurate

[vanteguccir]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤSLEEP PARALYSIS * CHRIS STURNIOLO

SUMMARY　::　Where Chris has another night disturbed by sleep paralysis, but Y/N is there to pull him back to reality.

FEATURING　Chris Sturniolo x reader　REQUESTED?　yes.

WARNINGS　::　sleep paralysis and night terror.

AUTHOR'S NOTE　::　that is my work, I DON'T authorize any form of plagiarism; copy, "inspiration" or translation! | english isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

Chris’s body jolted awake with a sharp inhale, the sound caught somewhere between a gasp and a shaky sniffle. His hand darted out automatically, like muscle memory, to the space beside him. It wasn’t even a thought, just an instinct to feel her there. His fingers swept across cold sheets instead.

The other side of the bed was empty.

His brows pulled together immediately, eyes still shut, but the ache behind them was there. His knuckles turned white as he curled his hands into fists and pressed them against his face, scrubbing at the soreness behind his eyes.

Eventually, he forced his lids open, confirming what he already knew. Y/N wasn’t there.

A soft exhaled huff left his lips, feeling disappointment.

The room was dimly lit - one of Y/N’s obsessive habits, keeping string lights glowing low overnight. The golden fairy lights were draped over the edge of the headboard, casting a faint halo across the bed and the hardwood floors.

Normally, Chris would find that annoying. But now? It was her. It was all her.

And he needed her.

Because the stinging behind his eyes wasn’t just from rubbing them too hard. The puffiness was still there. Residual fear tangled in the memory of what had dragged him out of sleep hours ago.

His chest gave a tight little hitch as the memory swam back uninvited.

The feeling of being locked in his own body, frozen, entirely aware of everything around him. The shadows in the corners. The weight on his chest. The inability to move. The dread crawling up his spine like insects under his skin.

He swallowed thickly.

But the worst part wasn’t the monster. It was the aloneness. That helpless panic of knowing you were awake and trapped and screaming inside with no way out.

Until her voice.

#. flashback

The clock read 3:07 AM when it started. Chris didn’t see the numbers, but somehow, he knew.

It was always at 3 AM.

The room was silent, drenched in that stillness that only happens in the dead of night.

He thought he was awake.

That’s always how it started.

His brain whispered, you’re awake. But his body? It said otherwise.

He tried to roll over, to shift closer to Y/N’s warmth, but his limbs stayed frozen, stiff and heavy like they were cemented into the mattress. His chest rose and fell in short, sharp breaths, and even that felt forced, like someone else was commanding his body.

His eyes fluttered open just barely. Just enough.

And that’s when he knew.

It wasn’t a dream.

It was the other thing.

The thing that happened once every few months and left him wrecked for days.

Sleep paralysis.

Instant dread slid through his spine like ice water.

He couldn’t move.

Couldn’t scream.

Couldn’t blink fully.

The bedroom around him looked weird. Familiar, but off. The fairy lights Y/N had left on were still glowing faintly, but they cast long, weird shadows against the walls. Everything looked taller, darker, like the corners had grown teeth.

There was a presence. He felt it before he saw it.

At first, it was in the corner, like something half-there. Then it shifted. The shadow grew arms. Legs. A body. Eyes.

It wasn’t real. It wasn’t real. But his brain didn’t care.

The figure moved slow. Closer.

Chris wanted to scream for Y/N. He tried. He swore he did, but nothing came out. His throat was tight, locked. Panic exploded in his chest like fireworks.

His heart was slamming, but his body still wouldn’t respond.

His gaze flicked helplessly toward Y/N. She was curled on her side, facing away, oblivious.

Help me. Please, help me.

He thought the words, tried to push them into the air, but all that came was silence.

The figure stood now, just at the foot of the bed. Watching him.

Chris’s eyes watered on instinct. He could feel the tears spilling slowly toward his ears, warm and slow. His lashes stuck together. His cheeks tingled. And all he could do was lay there.

His breathing turned shallow and rapid. His stomach clenched in a cold panic as the figure leaned closer. The air grew thick, like breathing through wool.

He wanted to die. Or wake up. Or anything.

Wake up.

WAKE UP.

Then, a sound.

So faint. But real.

"Chris?"

It was her.

A flicker of warmth sparked somewhere deep in his chest.

"Babe?"

She sounded sleepy. Groggy. But alert, concern already dripping on her words.

He couldn’t respond.

He begged his body.

Move. Move, move, MOVE.

But it didn’t listen.

Y/N stirred and rolled over. Her hand brushed his forearm, but she stopped immediately.

He was stiff. Breath erratic. Trembling, but completely still.

Her instincts kicked in like lightning. She sat up fast, blinking into the half-dark. Her eyes landed on him, face expressionless, body locked, lips parted just slightly like he was trying to speak but couldn’t. His eyes were wide open, lids twitching like a nightmare on replay.

"Chris." She whispered, voice already breaking. "You’re stuck, aren’t you?"

She touched his cheek. His skin was burning.

Without hesitation, she leaned down, fingers threading through his damp curls.

"Baby. It’s okay. I’m here. I’m right here."

She kissed his temple gently, slowly whispering between each one.

"Come back to me. Right now, okay? You’re safe. It’s not real."

Her thumb rubbed soft circles into the side of his jaw full of stubble.

"You’re okay. You’re okay. I’ve got you."

And it was that touch, her voice in his ear, her hand on his face, the smell of her hoodie pressed against him, that cracked the shell.

He gasped so hard it scared her, shooting upright in bed like he’d just been pulled out of drowning. His sobs came before he could even register them, big, ugly ones that he tried to swallow back but couldn't, throat feeling like being chocked.

She cradled his face instantly, sitting cross-legged and pulling him into her lap like he weighed nothing.

"I got you. I got you." She whispered again and again, like the words could build a fortress.

He buried his face in her neck, shoulders shaking, fingers bunching the back of her hoodie in tight fists like a scared kid. She swayed them gently, rocking ever so slightly, humming something soft and tuneless into his ear.

"I’m sorry." He choked eventually. "It was so bad this time. It was right there. I thought- fuck- I thought it was gonna kill me."

"Shhh." She cooed, cupping the back of his head. "No more thinking. It’s gone. You’re here. You’re with me."

Chris exhaled against her skin like he was finally letting go.

She didn’t ask questions, didn’t try to fix anything. She just held him like it was her only job in the world.

Now, the bed felt empty in every sense of the word.

Chris bit the inside of his cheek and swung his legs off the mattress, planting his feet on the floor. It was still stupid early, the house silent, but he couldn’t lie there alone any longer.

He stood up slowly, the cold air instantly wrapping around his skin, and grabbed the hoodie draped over Y/N’s side of the bed.

Hers.

It smelled like vanilla and cinnamon and something vaguely coconut. He tugged it on. Way too different than his. Didn’t care.

Chris moved to the door.

He wasn’t walking so much as he was gliding. Floating. But not in a cool way. More like his soul hadn't fully synced back into his body, and everything felt a second too slow. His limbs dragged behind the beat of his brain. He blinked slowly, eyes burning like he hadn’t actually slept - because, well, he hadn’t.

Not really.

Sleep paralysis didn’t count. That wasn’t sleep. That was survival.

The hallway outside their bedroom was bathed in faint natural light from upstairs. Chris padded quietly through it, passing the little gallery wall Y/N had insisted on hanging close to the stairs, pics of them at Disney, blurry Polaroids of their family, a goofy drawing of Chris that she’d doodled and stuck in a frame.

He’d complained, of course. But every time he walked past it, he smiled.

His - her - hoodie sleeves were stretched over his hands, his socked feet scuffed softly on the cold stairs as he moved up like a ghost into the kitchen.

Everything was too bright. Too loud. The hum of the TV turned on was a knife in his ear.

But somewhere through the noise, he heard it.

Y/N’s laugh.

Like a thread pulling him through the fog.

He didn’t register anything else. Not the smell of breakfast, not the clatter of a pan, not even Matt mid-rant about something he didn't care to understand.

No.

He was moving like a moth drawn to a light.

Her. His light.

He reached her and didn’t say a word. Just... collapsed.

"Eugh- oh!"

Y/N jerked slightly when the full weight of her boyfriend crashed into her body. He dropped his head into the curve of her neck like it was a pillow made for him and let out the heaviest exhale in the history of breathing.

"Oh hi." She said gently, instantly reading the energy. "You okay?" She whispered, already knowing the answer but needing to ask anyway.

Chris shook his head, and her arms moved automatically. Her hand lifted instinctively, burying into his mess of curls like second nature. Fingertips dug softly into his scalp in slow, practiced motions. Like she knew exactly where to press, how to scratch without irritating the skin, how to soothe without even speaking.

Chris let out another breath. This one almost sounded like a sigh of relief. Like someone had finally hit the mute button on his brain.

He didn’t even bother opening his eyes, and the chatter in the kitchen went on.

Matt was still talking, flipping pancakes and acting like Chris hadn't just entered the room looking like a dead men.

Y/N swayed them slightly side to side, a motion so subtle it could’ve been mistaken for breathing, but it wasn’t. She was rocking him.

Chris let himself melt.

There was nothing in his mind now but the smell of her vanilla body wash and the warm press of her cheek against his hoodie.

And then, he felt it.

Tap. Tap-tap. Tap. Pause. Tap-tap-tap. Tap.

His lips curled into a small smile that barely made it out.

She was doing it again.

Tapping the words on his back with her fingers, the same thing she used to do the first few months of dating when they’d lie in bed and she’d say 'Okay, guess what I’m saying', like it was a game. She’d tap the syllables on his back using some random rhythm that was loosely inspired by morse code.

And he always knew the ending.

Always.

I love you.

She always ended with that.

So Chris whispered it before she could tap the last part. His voice cracked slightly, still rasped from sleep and silence.

"I love you too." He mumbled against her shoulder, his chin still tucked in tight, jaw moving softly against her skin, stubble tickling exposed flesh.

Y/N kissed the top of his ear like it was a thank-you note, her lips lingering.

Matt was still cooking like none of this was happening.

"Anyway, I told him, Nick, if you drink the last apple cider, just say that. Don’t gaslight me into thinking I imagined it, like I don’t have eyes-"

Chris blinked his eyes open just barely and turned his head to rest his cheek against Y/N’s collarbone. The warmth from her body seeped into his, melting him even further. His arms stayed limp, wrapped loosely around her waist like his body had finally stopped bracing itself for impact.

He wasn’t going to say anything about the night before. Not yet.

Not until the shaking stopped.

Not until he stopped feeling like he was half here.

But Y/N already knew. She always knew.

I mean, she was the one who was always there when it happened. Again and again.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up." She whispered low so Matt wouldn’t hear. Her lips brushed his ear as she spoke. "You okay now?"

He nodded faintly.

"You helped."

"Always." She added gently, fingers still in his hair.

Chris exhaled again. He was doing a lot of that. It was the only thing grounding him. Her scent. Her voice. Her hands. Her presence.

Matt slid a plate of pancakes onto the table.

"Okay, sorry to interrupt, but these pancakes are amazing. Like, Gordon Ramsay could never."

Chris didn’t even lift his head. He just let out a soft grunt that vaguely sounded like 'Nice', and let himself stay wrapped around his girlfriend like she was a life bed.

Y/N smiled and tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear.

"Wanna sit down and eat?"

He shook his head into her shoulder.

"Five more minutes."

She laughed quietly, resting her chin on top of his head.

"Take your time, sweet boy."

Matt watched the scene with a fond smile and leaned against the counter.

"You good, man?"

Chris gave the smallest thumbs-up from where his hands were buried in Y/N’s hips.

Matt nodded.

"Cool. I’ll keep the pancakes warm. You two do your dramatic comfort thing. I support it."

"Thank you, chef." Y/N said with a tiny salute.

Chris chuckled softly under his breath. It was barely there. But it was real.

Some minutes passed before slowly, Chris shifted. It was more like a lean than a step, but it was something. He peeled his chest away from hers and shuffled toward the table. His socked feet barely lifted from the floor as he dragged himself toward one of the plush chairs. His hand reached behind him, a silent gesture that made Y/N’s heart squeeze.

She caught it.

Gently, she slipped her hand into his and followed him.

She maneuvered them both down onto the soft chairs, guiding him to sit first, then tucked herself right beside him. So close their knees bumped, so close that their thighs pressed together.

She reached across the table and slid his plate over, followed by hers, sending a quiet mental thank-you to Matt for already drenching both pancakes in syrup like he knew neither of them had the brainpower to do it.

Chris picked up his fork slowly. His hand was a little shaky, nothing wild, just enough that she noticed. The metal clinked against the porcelain plate as he cut into the pancake, then lifted a bite to his mouth.

The moment the buttery sweetness hit his tongue, he let out a sigh.

"... I really thought I was gonna die." He said eventually, voice barely above a whisper, gulping the piece of pancake. "I'm not even kidding. I couldn’t move. I felt like something was sitting on my chest."

Y/N’s heart cracked in two. She turned toward him, lifting her hand to his face. Her thumb brushed over the dark skin just under his eye, so soft, so tired. She could feel the faint puffiness there.

"I know, baby." She murmured. "I know. That shit’s terrifying."

Chris didn’t answer right away. He just blinked at her, eyes glazed with something that wasn’t quite tears anymore but still nowhere near peace. He looked like he was stuck halfway between two states of being.

"I feel so dumb." He said, his voice cracking just a little on the last word.

Y/N didn’t let him finish that thought.

"Don’t even say that." She said quickly, firmly. Her hand cupped his jaw now, guiding his gaze back to hers. "You’re not dumb. You’re human. And your brain does freaky shit sometimes. Doesn’t make it less valid."

He swallowed. His throat worked slowly, like even that motion was difficult.

And then she softened again. The tension in her hand eased, her thumb stroking once more beneath his eye.

"Also." She added, tilting her head just slightly. "You cried in your sleep and still managed to look pretty. That should be illegal."

Chris huffed out a breath. It wasn’t quite a laugh, but it was close. The corners of his mouth twitched, just a little, and his cheeks flushed the faintest pink. He looked down, ducking his head, but Y/N leaned forward anyway.

"There’s my boy." She whispered, just before kissing his temple, her lips lingering on his skin for some seconds.

His hand came up to cradle her thigh, grounding himself, and she stayed close, their foreheads brushing, breaths mingling.

"I got you." She breathed.

"I know." Chris whispered back.

Eventually, they leaned back again. Chris finally took another bite of pancake, this time without hesitation. Y/N followed, watching him closely.

"Can we just... do nothing today?" He mumbled some minutes after.

She smiled softly, finishing her chewing.

"Already canceled our plans in my head."

"You’re my favorite person."

"Yeah." She whispered, closing her eyes for a moment. "You’re mine, too."

© vanteguccir

[incendiobrock]

so cute. so sweet. the perfect start to my day was reading this.

[incendiobrock]

rockstar girl

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

y/n.l/n posted just now

liked by christophersturniolo, madisonbeer, and 615k others

y/n.l/n support the arts and sleep with a musician, or whatever they say 🎸

christophersturniolo my lil rockstar girl

| y.n/l.n love ya rockstar boy 💋

madisonbeer thank you for touring with me !!

| y.n/l.n ofc anything to see my two fav people on stage !

| christophersturniolo had fun rocking w you

nicolassturniolo the caption 💀

matthew.sturniolo he should go on tour more, the house has been so quiet without him

| christophersturniolo stfu you know you miss me

a/n: all photo creds goes to pinterest!! i just love a good rockstar chris au

[incendiobrock]

i wanna go through all my posts and make sure they are 100% cohesive because i have a new style i use now but i fear that would take me so long 😮‍💨

[incendiobrock]

lonely, longing nights {chris sturniolo}

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

pairing(s): bf!chris x gf!reader

warning(s): sad, long distance relationship

summary: when chris is away on the surprise party tour you can’t help but miss him.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

the house was quiet.

deadly quiet. your boyfriend wasn’t there to crack any jokes, yell or bounce off the walls, or fill the space with his unmistakable laughter.

it was dark too.

the sun was long gone. the glow of the moon leaking through the window was the only source of light coming into the bedroom. it felt wrong.

you had no reason to feel this way.

at least that’s what you told yourself… over and over and over again. chris was out on tour with his brothers. he was meeting fans and doing what he loved.

your eyelids were heavy as you laid in the cold, empty bed. the time ticked by slowly as you waited for his call. the show had to be over soon and then you could hear his voice.

your gaze was locked on the window, looking at the moon as you answered his call.

“hi gorgeous, how was your day?” he asked excitedly, his voice emitting from the speaker with that unmistakable laugh, presumably caused by one of his brothers.

“it was good,” you answered a little too quickly “how was the show?”

“it was amazing! everything went perfectly and i got to reveal my surprise. you should’ve seen matt and nick’s face! holy shit it was the funniest thing i’ve ever seen! the way nick’s jaw dropped-“ chris recounted the entire show, the bright smile evident in just his voice over the phone.

“-yeah that’s nice babe.” your words interrupting his, something noticeably off in your tone. chris immediately faltered, his grip on the phone tightening slightly as he quickly brought it up to his ear, taking it off speaker.

“hey, you okay? what’s wrong?” his voice now soft and worried.

“nothings wrong, just tired.” you replied, feeling too guilty to tell him the true reason. why would you make him feel bad about being away on tour?

“…are you sure? it sounds like you’re upset..” he said cautiously, beginning to pace slightly inside the tour bus.

“i think i should go to bed. it’s late here, y’know?” the edge in your voice instantly bringing you the feeling of regret.

“…yeah, uh, okay… i love you so much, sleep well, alright? i’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

“mhm, love you.” you mumbled in response before quickly cutting the line. your eyes stung as they welled up with all the tears you had managed to hold back throughout the day.

sinking into the mattress you welcomed the tears.

who knew that a tour could feel so lonely?

[sunrisemill]

THIS IS SICKENING

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

Clip from this tt <33