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@incorect-wotters
hey guys! idk if anyone still follows me here as i’ve been pretty dead with content for a long time but just in case— my new account for hp content is @princenoir-rewritecanon. its not just nextgen stuff but harry potter content in general, though nextgen is probs… half of it lol. im forever hyperfixated on this. idk if i’ll post on here anymore unfortunately because this is a side account and this new one is a main one!! hope everyone is well <3
Teddy: hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out *winks*
Victoire, confused: ...have you never taken a shower before?
Albus, talking about Delphi: is there no way we can get rid of her???
Harry, tiredly: not without cause, Al
Albus: I have cause. It is beCAUSE I hate her!
Dominique: self-care is reaching under your shirt and firmly gripping your own boob
Albus: Oh so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, it’s ‘intelligent’ and ‘really cool,’ but when I do it I’m ‘petty’ and ‘need to move on’-
Roxanne: can you do me a weird favour without asking any questions?
Lily: isn’t that the bedrock upon which our friendship was founded?
Scorpius: no, you all misunderstood me
Scorpius: I’m not calling Albus ‘babe’ as in short for ‘baby.’ I’m calling him ‘beyb’ as in short for ‘beyblade, let it rip.’
Victoire: hey, can I ask a favour of you?
Teddy: I’d die for you if you asked but go on
James: I’m a limited addition. I’m unique. No other copies.
Albus: thank god
As I am now officially in quarantine, and I’m sure many of you are, I decided to make something.
Teddy, trying to be a good brother-in-law, part II: let me tell you a little, personal story of mine, so you can get to know me a little better. Okay?
Louis: sure.
Teddy: When I was a young boy—
Louis, interrupting with no remorse: MYFATHERTOOKMEINTOTHECITYTOSEEAMARCHINGBANDHESAIDSONWHENYOUGROWUPWOULDYOUBETHESAVIOROFTHEBROKENTHEBEATENANDTHEDAMNEDHESAIDWILLYOUDEFEATTHEMYOURDEMONSANDALLTHENONBELIEVERSTHEPLANSTHATTHEYHAVEMADEBECAUSEONEDAYI'LLLEAVEYOUAPHANTOMTOLEADYOUINTHESUMMERTOJOINTHEBLACKPARADE
Albus: I’ve never been a fan of romance.
Rose: *rolls eyes*
Albus: what?
Rose: last week Scorpius bought you a single rose— which was also dead— and you cried in front of all of us.
Albus: tHaT dOeSn’T CoUnT
Scorpius: why are you hugging a bottle of water?
Albus: I was sad and angsty and you weren’t there so I had to settle for a bottle of water.
Lily: If James, Albus and I were drowning, who would you save?
Hugo: You morons can’t even swim?
Lily: it’s a hypothetical question.
James: who would you save?
Hugo: my time and effort.
Teddy, trying to be a wiser, older brother-in-law: and what should you do when when you feel this bad?
Dominique: cut myself bangs and dye my hair.
Teddy: nO wHaT
Albus: I hope I get run over by a truck.
Scorpius: Awww! Come on, it’s Christmas! Get in the spirit!
Albus:
Albus: I hope I get run over by a reindeer
Lysander: I accidentally ate Lucy’s candy, how long do you think I have left to live?
Molly II: ten
Lysander: ten what?
Molly II: nine