incorrect three houses quotes

hi i’m leon // he/they // sometimes nsfw but only for like...penis jokes

[incorrect-3h]

[ashen wolves group chat]

hapi: hey

hapi: everyone's bones are wet

constance: why would you say this

hapi: no one said hi back

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lorenz: centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. discuss.

mercedes: oh, this, i don't like this

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hilda: up until i was like 9, i thought that gunpoint was an actual place where crimes happened

claude: how is that possible?

hilda: well think about it, you always hear it on the news. "a man is being held up at gunpoint," "tourists are being terrorized at gunpoint." and i just kept thinking "why do people continue to go there?"

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aelfric: wow, this bastard clearly has this plan thought out…

yuri, in his mind: OH GOD THIS PLAN WAS HORRIBLE EVERYTHING IS SHATTERED

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dimitri: why isn’t the oven heating up? is it broken? did we forget to pay the gas bill?

sylvain: of course we paid the gas bill, i remember because it ended with a 69 and we high-fived

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balthus: you're bisexual right

yuri: yeah why

balthus: so are you gay on your mom’s side or your dad’s side

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annette: so today i was lookin at a boy bcuz he had a piece of lettuce in his hair and he looked at me and said "i have a girlfriend"

annette: ok lettuce head

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constance: i've been alive for 18 years and still haven't found the right thing to say when someone knocks on the door of a public bathroom you're in

edelgard: "come back with a warrant" is my go-to

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byleth: do you know why i recruited you?

yuri: i assumed you'd lost a bet

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constance: I want to drink. I want to forget life. Life is the disgusting invention of God-knows-who. It doesn’t last and it isn’t worth anything. We twist our necks trying to stay alive. Life is a stage setting in which almost nothing is real. Happiness is an old canvas painted on one side.

constance: nvrmind guys hapi texted me back :)

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sylvain: i was listening to a screamo song for fun and i heard all this extra yelling. i thought it was part of the song, but then i realized it was just my family arguing

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dimitri: is there any chance you could fix me in the next ten minutes?

mercedes: sure, i'll just advance medical science 30 years

dimitri: great

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blue lions: [singing happy birthday to ingrid]

felix: it was a bit pitchy but i’ll let it slide

ingrid: and you’re a bit bitchy but we never say it out loud because we’re nice people

felix: fair enough

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caspar: dogs deserve to live forever

ashe: and humans don't?

caspar: absolutely not

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byleth, joining the golden deer: attention! look at you lot! i've never seen such a miserable bunch! what are you? children?

claude: yes, sir

byleth: you think you're being funny?

claude: yes, sir

byleth: all right, me too. dismissed!

[incorrect-3h]

hubert: [dressed in black, earbuds in, frowning]

ferdinand: wow what’s he listening to why is he so mad

hubert’s earbuds: hatsune miku — world is mine, full volume

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sothis: plankton built his computer wife so he’s also the one who programmed her personality. plankton made a wife who would belittle and mock him. plankton has a humiliation fetish

byleth: sometimes we have thoughts but we don’t have to share them with everyone and put them out into the world. just a suggestion