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Mr compress: If the police are here to serve, why are their outfits so ugly?

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Skeptic: You have made a grave mistake.

Twice: I make grave mistakes all the time. Everything seems to work out.

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Mr compress: You shouldn't be using a straw.

Twice: I know it's bad for the environment an-

Mr compress: No, it's just a weird way to eat spaghetti.

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Twice: Fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed.

Toga: I will give the horse that kills me no such luxury.

Mr compress: What the fuck you guys.

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Twice: When someone tells me something I dont understand I just laugh, smile or frown.

Twice: and hope they didn't just tell me that their grandmother died.

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Toga and twice: [discussing plans for compress's surprise birthday party]

Compress, opening the front door: hey guys im back

Toga: quick, start a normal conversation!

Twice: uhhh so then superman grabbed the cereal box!!

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Twice: When someone tells me something I dont understand I just laugh, smile or frown.

Twice: and hope they didn't just tell me their grandmother died

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Shigaraki: its like we just cleared a video game on easy mode.

Dabi: real combat is NOT like a video game.

Twice, in the background: hey! Coins!

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Toga: I love women in a feminist way.

Toga: but I also love them in a gay way.

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Twice: pros and cons of dating me.

Twice: pros, you'll be the cute one.

Twice: cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

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Twice: im getting the whole team mood rings so I know when my homies need a hug.

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Twice: welcome to my very first vlog in which I will try different hair products!

Twice: *sprays hairspray directly into his mouth*

Twice: well, right off the bat I can tell you that this one is not very good.

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Twice: would you trust me with a knife, Giran?

Giran: Absolutely not.

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Toga, not paying attention, runs someone over with her car: OH MY GOD

Toga: Now I have blood all over my new car :((

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Dabi: Hmmm, time to be unreasonably evil due to my tragic past.

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Dabi: Arson? Oh I think you mean "Crime Brûlée"