Submissions are highly appreciated *** All credits for the artwork go to cbrcbbr *** Things that our favourite (ex) FBI Agent and her favourite Cannibal definitely said at one point
I really wanted to post more quotes than usual today, but since I've recently run out of canon ones we'll have to make do with the AU ones. Those take place in this AU
On request of @tnyhpknslvr I present to you Clannibal Child Headcanons:
Some people have written fics where clannibal have two children. I can see it if they have a stable life in Argentina - which is another thing that I can totally see happening, and that probably did happen - but it is not my favourite interpretation. I prefer to imagine clannibal traveling and killing and saving "lambs", and only having one child at most.
The kid was an accident. But one that both Clarice and Hannibal ended up being very happy about.
The kid grows up trilingual. English, Spanish, and Lithuanian. Add in all the languages they learn due to the traveling/potential interest and you've a kid that knows more languages as a teenager than some people hear in their entire lifes.
The kid is probably also very artistically talented. Think drawing/painting and music.
I have this vision of the kid being allowed to decorate their room however they wish and then painting a mural on their ceiling a la Michelangelo. Clannibal were never prouder.
Praxidikai has written a few fics with a clannibal child, and it's mentioned that the kid has purple eyes. The Internet says that that is impossible, but then so is having red eyes. So the kid has purple eyes now.
The kid is definitely taught self defense. Mainly by Clarice. Though the shooting range can and will wait until the kid is a teenager.
The kid wanted to learn how to shoot very early on to be cool like mama, but both Clarice and Hannibal put their foot down.
The kid is very eloquent very early on because Clarice and Hannibal speak to it normally and treat it (almost) like an adult. There are topics that are stowed away for revisitation in a few years, but for the most part their motto is that if the kid didn't understand something then they probably didn't explain it well enough/in the right way.
I think the kid would be home schooled - because of all the traveling and because it's just far ahead of the school system - but if they ever did go to school (maybe it was an experiment or an attempt on Hannibal and Clarices part to have the kid make friends), then they would not be bullied. If Clarices lessons of "if someone is mean to you or someone else then you punch them like this:" weren't enough, then Hannibal instilled them with a bunch of borderline manipulation tactics that leave the victim somewhat disturbed and confused at best, and traumatised at worst.
Remember how I knew that clannibal probably wouldn't kill and eat people post canon, but I really wanted to believe they would? Same thing here. I know they probably wouldn't feed human meat to their kid, but I want to believe that they would.
Should it happen like this then the kid is going to have some slightly skewed but surprisingly steady morals. You do not harm animals if you can avoid it, and you protect others, but eating the rich (CEO arseholes) can be taken very literally.
I do not think that the kid would be named Misha, but I can imagine that it'd be their middle name.
I honestly do not know how Clarice and Hannibal would react to their kid being trans. I've yet to fully read sotl and I also still haven't fully deciphered what they (would?) think about transness. Especially if the kid isn't just straight up mtf or ftm. But I very much like to think that they'd be supportive. If only because I'm genderfluid and have decreed them my parents. They're very supportive.
If the kid is gay then they're also supportive, and with Margot Verger we even have canon kinda backing it up.
There is a family portrait.
There are also a bunch of photographs.
All in all the kid is going to grow up to be very eloquent, very intelligent, very artistic, and very charming and polite, with a slightly skewed moral code, and (if you want to imagine it so) slightly murderous.
Hannibal once tried to teach her how to cook. She nearly burnt the kitchen down. It was one of the few things they decreed as a lost cause.
Hannibal still writes Clarice (love) letters. One for their anniversary(ies), one for her birthday, and one for whenever he feels like it. That is to say, Clarice finds a new letter on her pillow almost every week. Sometimes two.
Hannibal teaches Clarice how to play the thermin.
Clarice started gardening. Some vegetables and some flowers. It's relaxing and it gives her something to care for.
Clarice joins a martial arts group to let off some steam.
Some nights they just lie curled up on the couch in front of the fireplace and read.
Clarice drinks pure black coffee. Hannibal is appalled.
They travel a lot. Partially due to worry of law enforcement catching up with them, but mostly because they want to and they can.
I know they probably wouldn't kill anyone after the end of the book because safety and all, but I just love the idea of them eating the rude and saving the lambs, so:
They sometimes (a few times a year. Not weekly) have special dinners that they go all out for (even more so than usual)
The house is cleared of people, and Hannibal cooks a multiple course meal. Clarice either decorates or helps their "guest" to get ready (see point one and two as to why she doesn't help in the kitchen).
Speaking of the guest! Sometimes they can actually attend and even consume part of the meal. But sometimes they don't make it.
Clarice and Hannibal then get themselves all dressed up, and the dinner can beginn.
It's a very nice - if small - affair. Candles, fresh flowers from the garden, music, some nice conversation, and of course the meal.
They like to time those extra special date nights to their anniversary(ies), but they don't mind if no guest presents themself.
It has become very, very rare that anyone but the special "guest" is invited to these dinners. Better safe than sorry.
Clarice feeds the stray dogs. And the stray cats. And the stray anything that comes within 10 miles of their house.
She would adopt them all too, but Hannibal put his foot down.
He will endure one, maybe two, pets, but they will not run an animal sanctuary.
They have two dogs. And a cat. They had a bird at one point, but the cat liked it a bit too much.
Initially he was against Clarice feeding the stray animals as well, but then she switched the language of the conversation, and he just can't deny his countess anything when she asks it in italian.
I should probably mention that, due to interest and loads of traveling, they're both multilingual. I figured this'd go without saying, but just in case: They're both multilingual.
Sometimes they watch cop/FBI shows and Clarice gets to tear them to shreds over the inaccuarcies.
In the same vein, they sometimes watch medical shows during which Hannibal gets to tear them to shreds over inaccuracies.
They don't even like most cop or medical shows, but they both find it hilarious when the other gets all annoyed over the mistakes, so they watch them anyway.
Hannibal has multiple sketchbooks filled just with sketches of Clarice. Some she posed for, most are just her going about her day.
There are also some paintings of her hung throughout their house(s)
Just in case it wasn't made clear in the points above: Hannibal paints and draws Clarice a lot. He's a man of the arts, and she is by far his greatest muse.
They play chess together. I mentioned this in a fic that is technically an AU. But I can just generally see them do it. So, They play chess.
I personally don't see them having children, but that may be my own bias speaking. If you want some clannibal + child headcanons, tell me and I'll try to come up with something.
Yup! More or less. I've been a bit stressed lately, and I'm having real trouble finding new funny little dialogues. I normally look through other ships/fandoms incorrect quotes, find some that fit clannibal, and then workshop them a bit at times so they fit even better, but I couldn't find any good ones recently.
Clarice: If you had to eat the same food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Hannibal: Too easy, it would be yo-
Jack: Don't you dare finish that sentence.
Clarice, drunk: Hannibal is so cute.
Jack: Hannibal who?!
Ardelia: Lecter?!
Clarice: Yeah, he's like a cute little cat.
Ardelia: The Hannibal Lecter aka Hannibal the Cannibal who kills people and eats them? The serial killer?!
Clarice, sobering up rapidly: ...
Clarice: We all have our faults.
Hannibal: I will now torture you.
Clarice, smirking: Kinky.
Hannibal: I think you are strong and beautiful.
Clarice, tensing up: Wait...
Hannibal, moving towards her: You deserve to be cared for as much as you care for others.
Clarice, backing away: No.
Hannibal, leaning forward, trapping her against the wall: Your feelings and needs are important and deserve to be heard.
Clarice, holding up her hands: I need a safe word!
Ardelia: We all know you're in love with him.
Clarice: I'm not in love with Hannibal, shut up.
Ardelia: I never said who.
Clarice:
Clarice: Shit, okay, hold on, JUST LISTEN-
Clarice, holding a large box: Hey love, what would you say if I came back home with four puppies?
Hannibal:
Clarice:
Hannibal: What's in the box, Clarice?
Clarice: I think you know.
Clarice: If the multiverse theory is true, then there's a universe where it isn't.
Hannibal: The multiverse theory doesn't cover paradoxical situations.
Clarice: Except in the universe where it does.
Ardelia: I'm having an aneurysm.
Chilton: Are you friends with this criminal?
Clarice: No, absolutely not.
Hannibal: Yes, absolutely. We're in love.
Barney: It's a layered relationship.
Clarice: Well then, I suggest you sleep with one eye open.
Hannibal: Now Clarice, what did we say about making threats you can't keep?
Clarice: Oh no, I will keep it.
Hannibal: Well, you heard her. One eye open.
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