Incorrect D&D HAT Quotes

Xedgin Supremacy

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Edgin: *bites lip* Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?

Cop: That isn’t gonna work, hands behind your back.

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Holga: ATTENTION: I HAVE BREACHED CONTAINMENT.

Holga: DO NOT PANIC, I AM SIMPLY GETTING A SNACK.

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Edgin: Have you heard of Murphy’s law? The one where if something can go wrong, it will go wrong?

Doric: Yeah, I have.

Edgin: Have you heard of Cole’s law?

Doric: Is this a joke about coleslaw?

Edgin: …maybe.

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Holga: Is it just me or is instant ramen even better uncooked?

Edgin: It’s just you.

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Edgin: So when are we gonna tell them?

Doric: Just give them a minute.

Simon: *Pulling on a door that clearly says push.*

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Edgin: Is there anyone here who’s actually straight?

Simon: *raises hand*

Doric: *puts their hand down*

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Doitic: Apparently, it was Rude™ of me to pitch in my two cents on a conversation I happened to overhear, despite agreeing with them.

Doric: On an unrelated note, I am no longer allowed in the ceiling vents.

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Edgin, making coffee: This is going to fix everything.

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Edgin: Yes, I'm adopting Doric and you cowards can't tell me no!

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Holga: What? I'm not aggressive!

Simon: Last Tuesday, you wacked me with a pair of crocs and stole my chocolate chips?

Holga: Survival of the fittest, bitch.

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Doric: So, what are we doing?

Simon: Wasting our lives.

Doric: I meant for lunch...

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Doric: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this?

Edgin: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.

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Edgin: You know, I really wish you’d just admit you made a mistake sometimes.

Holga, stirring their coffee: I prefer it with salt.

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Simon: .. .----. -- / … --- .-. .-. -.-- (translation: I'M SORRY)

Doric: What's that?

Simon: Remorse code.

Doric: I'm even angrier now.

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Holga: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.

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Edgin: Why is Simon crying on the floor?

Holga: They're drunk.

Edgin: And?

Holga: They saw a picture of Doric's spouse.

Edgin: But they're Doric's spouse.

Holga: I know.

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Edgin: I'm cold

Xenk: Here, take my jacket

Simon: I'm cold too

Doric: What do you want me to do? I can't control the weather