something I've noticed is that a lot of the pushback I get for talking about stuff like this comes from other neurodivergent people, and I know that this is very understandable, because I think that if you are a certain kind of neurodivergent person and you are capable of jumping through the academia hoops, academia often becomes a refuge from other institutions that you have not experienced success in. there are a lot of things about academia that are very friendly to a certain type of neurodivergent person in ways that other career paths are not. and I think because people encounter this refuge at such a crucial developmental period of young adulthood, they become very attached to it and it becomes something that they feel very defensive of. like, I have heard some neurodivergent people say that academia saved their lives! and so I think that having to accept that being able to take refuge in this institution is itself actually a result of a kind of privilege, and that the institution itself is actually propped up on a foundation of fundamental ableism can be a really really hard pill to swallow. it's probably really hard to tell yourself the story of academia being a refuge for neurodivergent people and then hear from other neurodivergent people who have been so soundly failed and abused by that same system. I'm pretty sympathetic to this. I think if I were the kind of person who could have jumped through the hoops, it's pretty likely that I might have ended up feeling similarly.
it is a reality that one needs to eventually integrate into one's worldview if one is to have an accurate view of academia as an institution. it can exist alongside the other stuff! none of what I'm saying means that people haven't legitimately found refuge in becoming academics. I know that some people have had that experience!
but I guess I kind of wish that what people who have had that experience would think when they hear stories like mine would be something like, "wow, given how passionate I feel about learning things and participating in thoughtful discussions with groups of people where there is a culture of learning and research and discovery and scholarship, and given how supported I feel by having access to a community like that, it would probably be really devastating for me to have been denied access to thie for reasons outside of my control"
because there are a lot of people who have felt similarly alienated by the way the rest of the world works who were unable to find refuge in academia! there are a lot of people for whom academia just represents another institution that has harmed them! there are people who would love to build and maintain communities that offer the things that you find beneficial about your academic community, but they cannot do that because keeping a community like that running is expensive and obtaining the resources that allow academic communities to thrive are not available to most groups of people.
idk. idk. I am often thinking about how I wish large communities of discovery and research and scholarship would function outside of our current model. because frankly our current model sucks so so bad. anyway I am just rambling now
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