Pablo: yeet

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Hello! I’m Evil Dad! I am 21 and use he/vamp/bats/cats pronouns. I post incorrect quotes for Evil Dead here. Feel free to make submissions! My rules are below.

Please try to have a source for any quotes you submit. I understand if you can’t find them, though!

Do not spam like. Spam reblog instead! Likes do nothing on Tumblr.

DNI:

Bigots of any kind. Christans/catholics. Pro-lifers. The Satanic Temple or any of its associates, inclusing "atheistic" Satanists/Luciferians. TERFs/radfems/gender critical/trandmeds/etc. Proshippers/comshippers/variants. Pedophiles/MAPS/NOMAPS/PEARS/etc. Incest (includes adoption). Noncon. DSMP/Harry Potter/Melanie Martinez fans. Starseed/indigo children/other ableists.

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Ash: C'mon, child safety lid. You know it's me.

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Ash: Where can I get some grenades, I'm mad as fuck.

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Ash: I'm an acquired taste. If you don't like me, acquire some taste.

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Ash: Do you trust me?

Kelly and Pablo: Yes.

Ash: You shouldn't.

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Ruby: A lot of people would benefit from being under my control with no free will.

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Ash, trying to be serious: I'm not letting anything slide.

Pablo: Not even the cha-cha?

Ash: No. That was your last time to get funky.

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Ash: Due to personal reasons, I'll be doing crack.

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Kelly: Damn.

Ash: Did you just curse? ‘Cause we don’t talk like that in this goddamn motherfucking trailer! Shit!

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A deadite summoned, standing amidst the destroyed kitchen: How? How were you able to summon me?! Ash, flipping through a cookbook as fast as he can: I don’t know! You were supposed to be chicken soup!

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Ash, pre-canon: I hope something good happens.

Ash now: I hope whatever bad thing happens is at least funny.

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Kelly: How's it going?

Ash: New spleen, same assassins.

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Ash: Accidentally indulged in too much "me time" and turns out I’ve been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.

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Ash: I'm gonna start calling you "Curious George"

Kelly: Why?

Ash: See, that's what I'm talking about.

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Ash: You ever get so tired you start seeing spiders? Pablo: Me after I take 17 Benadryl and start seeing The Hat Man. Ash: THE WHO?? Pablo: Oh, this is not a safe place, suddenly?

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Ash: I was born with the heart of a dragon! Kelly: And the soul of an absolute dumbass.

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Ash: Why is it in a cage? Pablo: Because it growled at me. Necronomicon: *snarls*