Ruby Kicked My Ass

Incorrect quotes blog for the Adventures of Ruby audio series. :)

[incorrect-ruby-quotes]

TJ: Kapoor won’t wake up, what do I do?

Ruby: Did you try kicking him?

TJ: Yes.

Ruby: I’m out of ideas.

[incorrect-ruby-quotes]

Ruby: TJ, I know you love And/or. I mean, we all do, he's a very nice person and I respect him immensely.

Ruby: But I think he might be a fucking idiot.

[incorrect-ruby-quotes]

Ruby: How much murdering do I get to do?

And/or: None, Ruby.

Ruby: Your plan sucks.

[incorrect-ruby-quotes]

Ruby: That was a joke. Say ha.

And/or: Ha.

Ruby: Now do it again.

And/or: Ha.

Ruby: Congratulations, you are officially the life of the party.

[incorrect-ruby-quotes]

Rodant: Would you take a bullet for me?

TJ Teru: ...yes?

*Ruby angrily bursts into the room*

Rodant: *running away* Great, thanks!

[incorrect-ruby-quotes]

Rodant: My father's name was just mine as well, so I'm technically Rodant Jr.

And/or: But who comes up when you look up Rodant on Google?

Ruby: That's what I thought!

And/or: One Rodant to rule them all!

[incorrect-ruby-quotes]

Ruby: What does a winner do when life gives them lemons?

Rodant: Um, make lemonade?

Ruby: No, they squeeze them right back into life’s eyes!

[incorrect-ruby-quotes]

And/or: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on Rodant without them noticing?

Ruby: Hey, Rodant, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny.

Rodant: *takes and swallows tracker* Pay up, loser.

And/or: ...

[incorrect-ruby-quotes]

TJ Teru: Have you done this before?

And/or: Well, Teru, it's like if you read the script you come better prepared.

Ruby: That's not what we do in ZBS, we don't read things.

TJ Teru: I don't read, And/or.

[incorrect-ruby-quotes]

And/or: What's the signal when something goes wrong?

TJ Teru: We yell, 'oh shit.'

Ruby: ...That'll work.

[incorrect-ruby-quotes]

And/or: I just want someone to take me out.

Rodant: On a date?

Ruby: With a sniper gun?

TJ Teru: Both if you're not a coward.

[incorrect-ruby-quotes]

Ruby: Rodent, fuck off.

Ruby: And by "fuck off" I mean "fuck off right back here and listen", you insufferable prick.

[incorrect-ruby-quotes]

Ruby, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.

[incorrect-ruby-quotes]

Rodant: You’ve got to learn to love yourself.

TJ Teru: But don't you hate yourself.

Rodant: Yeah, but this is about you. Stay focused.

[incorrect-ruby-quotes]

And/or: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it

Ruby: Just rip the bandage off.

And/or: It’s Angel Lips.

Ruby: Put the bandage back on.

[incorrect-ruby-quotes]

TJ: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.

Ruby: You people already know too much about me.

TJ: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

[incorrect-ruby-quotes]

Ruby: I trust And/or.

TJ: And you think he knows what he's doing?

Ruby: I wouldn't go that far.