Incorrect Swan Queen Quotes

All quotes are 100% canon in a Swen's mind.

[incorrect-swanqueen]

Emma, on the phone: Ruby, you need to come over and pick me up. Ruby: What? Why? Emma: Regina is passive aggressively washing the dishes she asked me to do 6 hours ago. Emma: This house isn’t safe anymore.

[incorrect-swanqueen]

Regina, sighing exasperated: What am I going to do with you? Emma: Ideally? Fuck me at some point.

[incorrect-swanqueen]

Snow: You ever look at two people and wonder why they haven’t kissed yet? Henry: Every day. Emma and Regina: Why are you looking at us?

[incorrect-swanqueen]

Regina: Hey Emma can you help me with this zipper?

Emma: Sure thing Regina: Regina: Up, Emma Emma: Right of course

[incorrect-swanqueen]

Emma: My kink is doing stupid shit and watching Regina speed run the five stages of grief as she realises she still wants to fuck me

[incorrect-swanqueen]

Emma: *Laying face down on the floor* Snow: So Regina said she liked you? Emma, muffled: Yeah Snow: ...and you asked her to marry you? Emma: Yeah David: Oh shit. How did she react? Emma: Dunno, I ran before I could scare her even more *Meanwhile* Regina, striding into the Manor: Henry! Holy shit I'm gonna get married!

[incorrect-swanqueen]

Ruby: So… you and Regina are a thing? Emma: No, Ruby. What idiot gets into a romantic relationship with the adoptive mother of their son? Ruby: Emma: Sex is one thing but dating? Absolutely idiotic, not even remotely intelligent Ruby: … I’m going to fuck her now Emma: Don’t you FUCKING DARE-

[incorrect-swanqueen]

Hook: You tricked me Regina: I deceived you, “trick” makes it sounds like we have a friendly relationship

[incorrect-swanqueen]

Henry: What are the hardest things to say? Snow: I was wrong. Regina: I need help. Emma: Worcestershire sauce.

[incorrect-swanqueen]

Evil Queen: I take no pleasure in this

Emma: You’ve got me pinned to a wall and a knife to my throat, I think there is some pleasure in this for both of us

[incorrect-swanqueen]

Grumpy: Welcome to the 'fuck Mayor Mills' support group, Where we all get together twice a week to say, once and for all, fuck that pig ass woman

Emma: Well… I may have misunderstood the agenda of this meeting

[incorrect-swanqueen]

Ruby: Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t have feelings for Regina.

Emma, staring lovingly at Regina from across the room: I don’t have feelings for Regina.

Ruby: Your eyes are nowhere near mine.

[incorrect-swanqueen]

Emma: Where are you going?

Regina: To get MYSELF a gift cause somebody didn't get me one!

Emma: I told you I did! Its coming here on Friday!

Henry, knowing full well that Emma got Regina an engagement ring: *eating popcorn*

[incorrect-swanqueen]

Emma: [looking at Regina] I'm not gay but DAMN

Snow: You don't have to be gay to appreciate a good-looking woman

Emma: Nah, I'd fuck her

Snow: Oh okay shit

[incorrect-swanqueen]

Emma: Hey pretty woman. What's your name?

Regina: Honey, are you that drunk?

Emma: *whispers* Don't call me 'honey'. Regina's gonna be mad.

Regina: I'm Regina, your wife.

Emma: Prove it. Show me your boobs!

[incorrect-swanqueen]

Regina: Do you like my top?

Mal, staring at Emma: She's alright.

Regina and Emma: *chokes*

[incorrect-swanqueen]

Ruby: Sooo, did you kiss Regina?

Emma: No, the moment wasn’t right. look, this woman could actually be my future wife. I want our first kiss to be amazing.

Ruby: Awe, that’s so sweet. So you chickened out like a little bitch?