Tanz der Vampire quotes

because every fandom needs a blog for shitposts.

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Herbert: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!

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Krolock: I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone.

Alfred: And I need you to be less vague and weird.

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Sarah: You know it's okay to admit you were wrong?

Krolock: *Sipping his tea after accidentally adding salt* I just like the way it tastes.

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Herbert: Can I tell him he looks nice?

Krolock: Sure.

Herbert: Can I tell him I respect him?

Krolock: Maybe, if he asks.

Herbert: Should I show him the oil painting I made of us surrounded by our three cats and four dogs?

Krolock: ...

Krolock: I'd save that for later.

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Herbert, with shades on: Rule one of destroying the world.

Herbert: *finger guns* You gotta look good while doing it.

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Professor: Are you having another depressive episode?

Alfred: A depressive episode?

Alfred: I'm having a depressive series and we're just on season one.

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Krolock: God is no longer with us, I'll take over.

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Sarah: I just want to be called cute 21/7

Alfred: Why not 24/7?

Sarah: Snack breaks.

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Krolock: My body is a temple.

Krolock: Ancient. Cursed. Crumbling. Probably filled with something evil.

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Krolock: I hate when people ask me what sign I am. Like bitch I'm a sign from God. Start running.

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Alfred: Look, at this point in my life, I'm not looking for a potential suitor

Herbert: I understand

Alfred: You do?

Herbert: Yes. It would be weird for you to look for a potential suitor when you have me

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Alfred: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers? 

Sarah: Peonies, why? 

Alfred:

Sarah: Were you going to get me flowers? 

Alfred:

Sarah:

Alfred: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

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Krolock: Pronouns? I mean, I'd say I am. I don't see why anyone would be anti-nouns, especially since they're so common

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Alfred: Hate when people are like "Trust your gut! Listen to your intuition!" Like okay well my gut is telling me every person I lay eyes on is hunting me for sport and my intuition is saying I should find a secluded cave and live there forever so what do you suggest I do with that information

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Alfred: Moment of silence for all my wasted potential

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Koukol: Do you see this shit my liege

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Krolock: I might make up some adjectives like Bill Shakespeare did. Felt like that would be rather perchrancheous of me.