incorrect trolls quotes

things that were 100% heard in Troll Village and Bergentown

[incorrect-trolls]

DJ Suki: I'm going to grab some snacks. Anyone want anything while I'm up?

Smidge: Oh, I'd love an apple!

DJ Suki:

DJ Suki: I said "snacks".

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Guy Diamond: What if ducks threw bread back at you?

Smidge: I guess you'd have to--

Guy Diamond and Smidge, together: D U C K

Branch:

Branch: I hate you both so much.

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Guy Diamond: What can I say? I'm charming and irresponsible.

Smidge:

Smidge: Don't you mean "irresistible"?

Guy Diamond: No.

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Branch: Patiently waiting for Poppy to fall in love with me.

Branch: I refuse to ask her out. I refuse to flirt with her. I refuse to go to her parties. I refuse to be nice to her.

Branch: How could this possibly go wrong?

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Guy Diamond: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Smidge: Tackle him!

Branch: Punch him in the stomach and kiss him while he's doubled over!

DJ Suki: Kick him in the shins!

Biggie: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!

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Poppy: All right, let's have a coffee break! Meet me back here after fifteen.

Poppy:

Poppy: To specify, I meant "after fifteen minutes". Don't drink fifteen coffees.

Cooper: [vibrating] Too late.

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DJ Suki: Look, no offense, Poppy, but how in the world did you get Branch to fall in love with you? You guys are like night and day.

Poppy: I swept him off his feet with my natural charm, beauty, and charisma.

Branch: She came up to me and ate a whole-ass burger without ever breaking eye contact, and when she was done, she handed me the wrapper with her number written on it.

DJ Suki:

DJ Suki: And you called her??

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Biggie: You wash your clothes in bubble bath mix??

Guy Diamond: I mean... bubble bath mix, clothes soap... same thing, really.

Biggie:

Biggie: No... it's not...

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Bridget: Last night, Gristle insisted on making me a "romantic dinner" of tomato soup.

Bridget: He microwaved a bowl of ketchup.

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Smidge: Are you trying to make the rest of us feel dumb?

Branch: I'm not trying. It's just happening.

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Chenille: I'm turning evil.

Guy Diamond: What do you mean??

Chenille: I just am. Be a male ally, and stay out of women's business.

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Poppy: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

Poppy: It becomes daytrogen.

Branch:

Branch: I'm going to bed.

Poppy: Good nitrogen.

Guy Diamond: Sleep tightrogen.

DJ Suki: Don't let the bedbugs biterogen.

[incorrect-trolls]

Creek: You see, the Snack Pack has about six brain cells between them.

Creek: Branch has three at all times while Biggie and Chenille each have one.

Creek: Cooper has none, Satin has half of one, and Poppy thinks she has one, but it's actually just Smidge and DJ whispering in her ear.

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Bridget: Gristle, what is this in your search history?

Gristle:

Gristle: Porn?

Bridget: No, the one below that.

Gristle:

Bridget:

Gristle: [mumbling] 'How to boil water'.

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Poppy: [shoots upright in bed] I'M LATE FOR THE CEREMONY

Poppy:

Poppy: Oh, right. I'm not the princess anymore.

Poppy: [lays back down]

Poppy:

Poppy: [sits up again] I'M THE QUEEN--

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Smidge: [spits mouthful of blood out on the floor]

Smidge: You've become far more powerful since we last crossed paths.

Dentist: Ma'am please the sink is literally right next to you

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DJ Suki: Just found out I overdrew my checking account on a 7/11 hot dog.

Biggie: Do you even remember buying that?

DJ Suki: I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo.