Shit Heard in Strangereal

Stuff that was definitely said sometime during the events of Ace Combat 7.  🛦 Submissions always open! Banner from gillytinarts on Twitter

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*arriving at the 444 base*

Trigger: Well, this is a nice change of scenery!

Avril: It's a prison cell, dumbass.

Trigger: I was being sarcastic.

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Trigger: Obviously, a railgun is a terrible idea. Definitely wouldn't bring one.

Trigger: ... Unless you like fun.

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McKinsey: Your insolence goes too far.

Trigger: Wrong. It can go a lot further.

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Long Caster: Belka is like... the equivalent of when the cheese falls off your pizza.

Jaeger: I feel like starting another international war is a little more dire than a naked pizza slice.

Long Caster: Okay, fine. It's like when the cheese falls off your pizza... and onto the floor.

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Trigger: I made a marshmallow Bandog. See? His arms are crossed because he's mad at all the marshmallow pilots for annoying him.

Trigger, to Bandog: You like it?

Bandog, choked up: It's fine.

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Briefer: I've prepared a safety briefing for you to entirely ignore.

Trigger: Which I will.

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Count: Have any of you guys ever stopped to wonder why we're still alive?

Jaeger: Oh, yeah.

Lanza: All the time.

Trigger: By all rights, we shouldn't be.

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McKinsey: What do you call breaking the rules?

Full Band: A hobby.

McKinsey: ...

Full Band: ...

McKinsey: ...

Full Band: That I do not engage in.

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Tabloid: Bandog, when have any of our plans actually worked? We plan. We fly there. All hell breaks loose!

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Trigger: What would you say if I got half my wing shot off?

Long Caster, about to have a heart attack: Do not! Do not do that!

Trigger: ...

Trigger: What would you say if I got half my wing shot off ten minutes ago?

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Mihaly, to Sol Squadron: You need them to think you're stronger than you actually are.

Schroeder: That's what you do, right?

Mihaly: Me? Oh no. My abilities are no illusion. I can fucking demolish you.

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Wiseman, meeting Spare Squadron: I'm sorry... who's in charge here?

Champ: Usually whoever yells the loudest.

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Count: See, one day you're gonna look back on this and laugh.

Bandog: I assure you, for the rest of my life, every time I look back on this I will personally fly to whatever base you're stationed at and smack you.

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Trigger: We can't lose. Because we have this.

Trigger: *points at his chest*

Jaeger: Aw! We have heart?

Trigger: Heart? No. Me. I'm pointing at myself. I'm going to win this war for us.

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Count: Love is dead and never existed. All you did was betray me while I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread.

Trigger: Woah, Count, are you okay?

Count: Full Band stole my fucking yogurt.

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Bandog, about McKinsey: Ah... my boss. I love that guy. And by that, I mean I hate him so, so much.

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Bandog: Well, not everything's a competition!

Count: If it were, I'd win.