absolute dork

katrina 25 kill me anytime you want

[banepenis]

perish the thought, dude. *playfully pushes you by the shoulder* haha, like, cease these peculiarities. *becomes extremely violent and starts hitting you with heavy fists without provocation* disabuse that fucking notion

[lakevida]

defunctland episode released immediately upon your death chronicling all failed career paths and relationships and somehow michael eisner is still at fault

[jbt7493]

has anyone noticed that sometimes you take incorrect or undesirable actions instead of the correct and desirable ones? what's up with that

[dahlia-molinas]

if christopher nolan was really the visionary and ground-breaking director everyone claims he is he would have cast ben affleck as penelope

[toskarin]

me: if I become the evil overlord I will never harm my minions

[5 years later]

highly throwable imp: hoohoohee

me: hmm

[happylandfill23]

a concert you're no longer at is a kind of dead wife

[koth-harvest-final]

humans werent "built" or "designed" to do anything. we just have a natural incentive to fuck kinda good and not die in the woods. and people die in the woods all the time and are asexual so

[halosnothere]

well that can't be good

[chiarrara]

why was messi lowkey serving saddam hussein hiding spot

[xalatath]

I like when you click a link and it turns purple its like youre bruising it

[slugmania]

[heateron]

[xrd]

[cringepics]

[knightclubbing]

your knight's unending loyalty for you is kinda parasocial and lowkey problematic...

[utopians]

duuuuuude you have GOT to come out tonight we're enacting cruelty upon those who have transgressed so badly that we can justify any act against them... and you KNOW we're interpreting our delight as moral righteousness... Yeah it's fucking crazyyyyyyy get an Uber

[fragiledate]

the strongest bond is probably pad wings to themselves. the weakest is probably pad wings to your underwear

[raccoonmilf]

If the only thing that has kept you going was outliving Mitch McConnell, imma need yall to pick a new person to outlive and fast. Your mission is not over.

[raccoonmilf]

Umm hello??? Do u have the death note @sharkgalaxy????

[sharkgalaxy]

cant believe i have to pick another person to outlive already