Incorrect Borderlands Quotes

Exactly what it sounds like. I post one quote a day, so feel free to submit quotes.

[incorrectblquotes]

Marcus; Mercenary Day is cancelled.

Lilith; You can’t cancel a holiday.

Marcus; Keep it up Lilith and you will lose New Years.

Lilith; What does that mean?

Marcus; Roland, take New Years away from Lilith.

[incorrectblquotes]

 Nisha; (Following the events of the Pre-sequel) Jack might be a little bit fragile after this, so let’s try to be sensitive.

Timothy; Believe me, I’m going to be nothing but nice to Jack from now on. If he snaps and goes on a rampage, who do think he’s coming for first?

Nisha; He’s not going on a rampage.

Wilhelm; I bet he’d let me live. He likes me.

Athena; I’m just going to say it; I never trusted him.

Nisha; Everyone just be normal. We’re going to treat him exactly the way we usually-

Jack; Nisha! Can you hand me a butter knife?

Nisha; No.

[incorrectblquotes]

Handsome Jack; Why do people believe I’m incapable of doing anything nice?

Angel; Experience.

[incorrectblquotes]

Rhys; I can’t believe August betrayed us again. Why is it always the ones you most expect?

[incorrectblquotes]

Salvador; Listen, I don’t care what your beliefs are, but if you throw paint at my grandma you’re getting a fucking gold plated ass kicking.

[erughostcat]

prompt from @shark-pup 

sfm resources

[incorrectblquotes]

Tiny Tina; “I suppose the imp is immune to bribery. I should find another way.”

Brick; Oh, really? Is it immune to a fucking size 14 foot up its ass?

[incorrectblquotes]

Holo Handsome Jack; (after possessing Rhys’ body) I’m sorry. I tried to be myself, and they hated it.

[incorrectblquotes]

Roland; So… The two newest Vault Hunters are an eighteen-year-old child who hasn’t acted normal in eighteen years, and a man who looks like he committed any crime he’s ever been accused of.

[incorrectblquotes]

Vallory; Well, I’m off to get a seaweed wrap. 

Sasha; I didn’t know they made sushi with dried clams.

[incorrectblquotes]

Axton; I see the glass as half empty, Maya sees the glass as half full; that’s why we’re a good team. Salvador, on the other hand, just drinks right out of the bottle. Zer0 wonders why it has to be glass, and Kreig usually breaks the glass by putting his feet up on the table.

[therandomninjakitty]

More Borderlands Nine-Nine. I made a list of who’s who:

*Rhys = Jake          *Fiona = Amy          *Vaughn = Charles

*Sasha = Rosa       *Yvette = Gina         *Loader Bot = Terry

*Cassius = Skully    *Gordys = Hancock *August = The Vulture

*Athena = Holt        *Janey = Kevin (Holt’s husband)

[incorrectblquotes]

Angel; I have “edge.”

Maya; You really don’t. You are literally the most wide-eyed person I’ve ever seen. You have the face of a cartoon lamb.

[incorrectblquotes]

Maya; Gaige, are you okay?

Gaige; Define okay.

Zer0; Are you still breathing?

Gaige; Do small panicked breaths count?

Salvador; Yeah, they count.

Gaige; All right. Then I’m okay.

[incorrectblquotes]

Vaughn; You know, anybody but me would punch you right in the head.

Rhys; Which is why YOU are my best friend!

Vaughn; Good to know. Now, why are you mine?

Rhys; Because I’m a lovable person!

[incorrectblquotes]

Handsome Jack; Someday, you will inherit one of the world’s most successful companies.

Angel; I think we should give our money away.

Handsome Jack; You are never getting this company.

[incorrectblquotes]

Gortys; Fiona told me that instead of being sad, I should “go get it, girl!” So I’m going to go get it, girl.

Rhys; Get what?

Gortys; Unclear. I’ll get everything, just to be safe.