Incorrect Bunker Quotes

[ on hiatus – thanks for listening ]

[mifhortunach]

Hey! so there’s maybe gonna be a bunker zine! we’ll see how it goes!

its going to be #vague! its going to be #fun! its going to be #community-orientated! its been like 5 years since it first came out, so let’s say that thats why were doing this on some level, lmao 

if you want to submit something you should!! what can/should you submit? pretty much whatever you want to! you want to do poetry? horoscopes? drawngs? memes, memes, & takes? a very detailed and precise takedown as to why the boys MUST have survived past ep. 12? fic?? you can //Do That//

hmu here or at bnkrzine(at)gmail(.)com if you wanna talk about anything or submit stuff 

[incorrectbunkerquotes]

Tom: Have you made any New Year's resolutions?

David: Yes, actually. You know how I always dread the whole year? Well, this year I'm only going to dread one day at a time.

Tom: That's a start, I guess.

[incorrectbunkerquotes]

Dave: Chaos already dominates enough of our lives. The universe is an endless raging sea of randomness. Our job isn't to fight it, but to weather it together, on the raft of life. A raft held together by those few, rare, beautiful things that we know to be predictable.

Tom: Ropes. Vines. Vines? Let him finish!

Dave: Us. It won't matter what happens to us as long as we stay honest and accepting of each other's flaws and virtues. Tom will always be a coward. I will always be the cute one. And David will forever remain a conniving son of a bitch.

David: Harsh, but fair.

[incorrectbunkerquotes]

Tom: I rigged the lights to flicker for Halloween!

Dave: They've been flickering all week.

Tom: Halloween week!

Dave: So they'll work November 1st?

Tom: All Saints' Day! ... Month...

[incorrectbunkerquotes]

Tom: Listeners, without you, none of this would be possible.

David: Without you, we'd just be shouting into the dark void, with horribly cyclopian monstrosities – impossible to describe and terrifying to behold – our only listeners.

Dave: Instead we've got you guys! And maybe a few indescribable monstrosities.

[incorrectbunkerquotes]

Tom: I don't want to think about the two of you... eugh.

Dave: Hey, sexuality is a spectrum.

Tom: Oh no, that's fine. I just meant you guys specifically.

[incorrectbunkerquotes]

Dave: Gang, it's been a pleasure fighting robots with you. Some of us might not make it, but there is a place where we will all see each other again, and that place is Denny's.

Steve: Which Denny's?

Dave: We'll figure that out later, Steve.

Emma: The one near the fifteen exit, I'm banned from there.

Dave: Then I guess I'll see you in Hell.

David: Let's kick some robot taint.

[incorrectbunkerquotes]

James: Any zombies out there?

Spencer: Don't say that.

James: What?

Spencer: The z-word. Don't say it.

James: Why not?

Spencer: Because it's ridiculous!

James: All right. Are there any out there, though?

Spencer: I can't see any. Maybe it's not as bad as all that. Oh, no, there they are.

[incorrectbunkerquotes]

Dave: I'm just saying that considering his messed up past and everything he's been through, he could have turned out a lot worse.

Kevin: You're right. Let's go find him and give him a medal. The Not-As-Much-Of-A-Jerk-As-You-Could-Have-Been Award.

[incorrectbunkerquotes]

Dave: Do you like my outfit?

David: Not as much as I like what's underneath it.

Dave: David!

David: No, I need your chair. Get up, I've got a show to do.

[incorrectbunkerquotes]

Jon: Oh, so Katie finally stole your boyfriend?

David: Shut up.

Jon: They look cute together.

David: That means nothing. Dave looks cute with everybody.

[incorrectbunkerquotes]

David: Rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

Tom: You did die, though.

David: I mean, yes, I died. But it really wasn't that big a deal.

[incorrectbunkerquotes]

Kevin: I'm going to make you sorry you ever met me.

David: Too late.

[incorrectbunkerquotes]

Tom: Has anyone seen David?

David: [lying face down on the floor] Present.

[incorrectbunkerquotes]

Dave: I made tea.

David: I don't want tea.

Dave: I didn't make it for you. This is my tea.

David: Then why are you telling me?

Dave: It's a conversation starter.

David: That's a lousy conversation starter.

Dave: Oh, is it? We’re conversing. Checkmate.

[incorrectbunkerquotes]

Dave: It's so dark... I'm scared...

Tom: Don't worry, Dave. I've got this. *stomps feet, Sketchers light up*

[incorrectbunkerquotes]

David: Being both an amnesiac and an over-planner is great, because sometimes you get surprise presents from your past self. I just found two granola bars and a grenade in my backpack.