Kiana Khansmith
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
d e v o n
tumblr dot com
almost home
occasionally subtle
Cosmic Funnies
KIROKAZE
Misplaced Lens Cap
styofa doing anything
Show & Tell
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Cosimo Galluzzi
Stranger Things
cherry valley forever
if i look back, i am lost
noise dept.
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
titsay
ojovivo
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from T1
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Hong Kong SAR China
seen from T1
seen from Czechia
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from Malaysia
@incorrectcampcampquotes
Nikki: Say it. Say it.
Neil: I’m ugly.
Nikki: You’re ugly and what?
Neil: Average?
Nikki: No. Proud.
Neil: I’m ugly and I’m proud.
Nikki: Louder!
Neil: I’m ugly and I’m proud!
Nikki: LOUDER!
Neil: I’M UGLY AND I’M PROUD! I’M UGLY AND I’M PROUD! I’M UGLY AND I’M PROUD!
Max: (From far away) Is that what he calls it?
Neil: Okay, everyone! DON’T PANIC!
Nikki: What are we gonna do?
Neil: WE’RE GONNA DIE!!
Neil: Maybe I was wrong.
Harrison: Somebody get a video camera.
I'm a baby with attitude.
Max (source: https://youtu.be/XapGFDSO2nQ)
Gwen: They say a kid died here when they were like 9. Jasper: I’m 11 so shut the fuck up.
[The campers are rehearsing ‘Love Resurrected’ while Preston paces back and forth, muttering to himself. David is supervising while Gwen, having finally convinced him to make a Tinder the night before, examines his profile]
David: (Coming to sit with Gwen after temporarily calming Preston) So what do you think?
Gwen: (Still scrolling) This is WAY too many interests. Some of these have to go. Actually, I think MOST of them have to go.
David: (Rescuing his phone) Well, I wanted to be honest.
Gwen: (Attempting to steal it back) That is the worst policy when it comes to online dating! David, you asked me to help you-
David: (Fending her off) I know, I know, and I appreciate it very much, but please just let me- look, I’ll delete some later, okay?
Gwen: (Giving up with sigh) That’s a lie and we both know it.
David: (Not bothering to deny it) Just please show me how to do this?
Gwen: (Taking pity on him) Fine. Whatever you want to know.
David: (Scrolling) So if you like them you just type them out a message, or-
Gwen: (Leaning over to see what he’s looking at) Yeah, you just say something like 'On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?’
[Cameron Campbell has appeared at camp, supposedly for a simple visit. After a brief hello to David, he is now attempting to leave, taking over half the camp’s budget with him. Gwen is not amused]
Cameron Campbell: (Admonishingly) Now Gertrude, I told you, I’m INVESTING this money! I would NEVER steal from my own camp in order to move several thousand kilos of pure, untainted cocaine under the DEA’s respective noses! I’m taking this for the time being, and when I come back, there’ll be more money to spend on the campers than you and Davey will possibly know what to do with.
Gwen: (Unmoved) Uh-huh. Sir, we are barely functioning with the budget we have. Even if what you just told me wasn’t complete bullshit, we’re not in a position to invest anything. We can’t operate like this.
Cameron Campbell: (Clapping her on the shoulder) I hear you loud and clear Gloria. You’ll be glad to know that your objections are duly noted-
Gwen: (Pinching the bridge of her nose) And overruled.
Cameron Campbell: And summarily overruled, yes.
Gwen: (Sighing deeply and massaging her temples) ... Yes, sir.
Cameron Campbell: (Frowning, brow furrowed) ... Tell me Glinda, why is it that when you say ‘yes, sir’ it somehow sounds eerily like ‘fuck you’?
Gwen: (Without so much as raising an eyebrow) Practice, sir.
David: Why aren’t there friend pick-up lines? David: Like, pick up lines to make friends David: Like David: “Hey, that’s a cute dress, you know who it’d look better on? Nobody else, because you’re a beautiful individual!” Nurf: Be my friend or I’ll set your entire family on fire. David: Gwen: Gwen: Two types of people.
Dentist: Okay, open up.
David: It all started when my dad left
Dentist: No, I meant-
Gwen: Wait, let him finish.
Space Kid: David! Truth or dare! David: (squee) Truth! Space Kid: (serious) Was the moon landing of 1969 faked? David: What? Space Kid: Answer the question David.
[After a brief but unpleasant visit from the FBI, Cameron Campbell has sent Gwen and David to his old summer home to ‘get rid of anything incriminating’. Through no desire of their own, Max, Neil and Nikki are accompanying them. Max, while not exactly pleased to be back, refuses to take orders from David and has since declared himself in charge.]
Max: (To Gwen and David) All right Shaggy and Scooby, you take the sinks, I’ll check the cabinets, and…
[He glances at the last item in the kitchen, an ancient refrigerator covered in ominous looking stains, and then at Neil]
Max: Velma, you get the spooky looking fridge.
Neil: (Alarmed) What?! Why do I get this… dubious looking device?!
Max: (Flatly) Because only Velma would say 'dubious device’. Velma gets the spooky fridge.
Nikki: (Grinning) So who does that make you, Max? Fred?
Max: (Dryly) Fuck no. I’m Daphne.
Daniel: Sorry I’m late, I was... Doing things.
[Loud footsteps towards the door]
Max: (Slams the door open, panting, visibly hurt) HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!
Daniel: Pushing is such a strong word! I prefer to call it giving you a little nudge.
Max: Oh, I’ll give YOU a little nudge when I SHOVE MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS!
Daniel: HEY! Watch your fucking language.
Daniel: It’s illegal to be better looking than me. David: Well, it looks like we’re all going to jail.
Max: Nikki’s missing, can you find her? Neil: What, do you think I have her microchipped or something? Max: …Well, do you? Neil: …Yeah, hang on.
David: …So that’s my plan. Max: Are you alright with constructive criticism? David: No, go ahead, I want to hear it. Max: It fucking sucks. David: David: That’s not constructive criticism.
David: (gets 8 hours of sleep minimum each night) I am so awake and ready for the day, the sun is beautiful and I’m so happy to be alive. Max: I’ve had 30 minutes of sleep for the past five days and now I can smell sounds, please kill me.
Gwen: Why are there books in the refrigerator? David: Because it’s cool to read! Gwen: Get out.