Bringing you shit that Coldplay has actually said

HIATUS. Hi, I'm PJ and this is a sideblog to my main Coldplay blog: @clodplaye. Feel free to submit an incorrect Coldplay quote that you have!

[incorrectcoldplayquotes]

I can't adult today.

Chris Martin, every minute of the freaking day.

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Does anyone actually know we released an album last year?

The whole band

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I don't do drugs. I am drugs.

Chris Martin

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Our movie was crap. Why was I in it?

Guy Berryman

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So... when am I getting a vocal solo?

Phil Harvey

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We're going to release Live 2017 any minute now!

Coldplay

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Jonny: Will, what’s in the jar?

Will: Oh, it’s just a little bit of water.

Jonny: It looks like wine.

Will: …dang, Jesus did it again.

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I'd walk through fire for my best friend. Well, not fire, that would be dangerous. But a super humid room... but not too humid because, you know... my hair.

Guy Berryman

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Phil: Has anybody seen Chris?

Jonny: I got this.

Jonny: I'm over here, Honey.

Chris: JONNY BOY OH THANK GOD I FOUND YOU I WAS LOST FOR AWHILE AND-

Jonny: There he is.

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Chris: Why are you naked and covered in baby oil?

Guy: You know how you say I never glisten?

Chris: LISTEN. You never LISTEN.

Guy: Oh.

[incorrectcoldplayquotes]

What? Who's Dakota Johnson?

Chris Martin

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Finally figured out the reason why I look so bad in pictures. It's my face.

Guy Berryman

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Jonny: Have a nice day!

Chris: Don't tell me what to do.

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I'm leaving the band to become a geography teacher.

Guy Berryman

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Chris: And this next song goes out to you Jonny:

Jonny: Oh god-

Chris: AND IIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUU

Jonny: Chris it's been hours just stop

[incorrectcoldplayquotes]

Who are Apparatjik and what have they done with our bassist?

Chris, Jonny, and Will

[incorrectcoldplayquotes]

Apple: Dad, I know what I want for Christmas! Chris: What’s that, Sweetheart? Apple: I want you to be a meme! Chris: So... how does that work? Do I become a dragon or...?