Incorrect Dragon Age Quotes

I have the brainworms

[incorrectda]

“I didn’t come into this thinking oh the odd jobs would be a nightmare. You know I thought difficult things in running an inquisition were like when you had diplomatic meetings with leaders. Not ‘oh leading a druffalo back home? You’ll wish you were dead’”

- Inquisitor

[incorrectda]

“I thought this was going to be a casual one-night stand? But maybe it could be a casual… one thousand-night stand. Maybe we could keep casually having sex, and then casually have kids together, and then casually grow old together. Casually get on each other’s health insurance. Then casually die side by side like in the end of The Notebook.”

- Warden, to Morrigan

[incorrectda]

“I’m not gay, bro. I’m so straight that roundabouts open up into highways when I drive ‘cause I won’t go round them.”

- Varric

[incorrectda]

Alistair: I've always respected you, Eamon.

Eamon: I've... tolerated you.

[incorrectda]

Varric: Meredith wants me to kill Anders because he blew up the chantry

Sebastian: Well then Meredith is correct. Have you gone soft?

Varric: No I’ve gone hard. Because he’s my best friend he’s my pal. He’s my homeboy, my rotten soldier. He’s my sweet cheese. My good time boy.

[incorrectda]

Alistair: Don’t you miss the vivid imagination of childhood?

Morrigan: I never had one

Alistair: an imagination or a childhood?

[incorrectda]

Morrigan: we can talk about normality till the cows come home

Alistair: What is home?

Warden: What’s normality?

Oghren: What are cows?

[incorrectda]

“I’d go myself, but I can’t be fucked”

- Empress Celene, sending a representative to the exalted council

[incorrectda]

“What’s your favourite yoghurt? How do you feel about death?”

- The Warden, trying to flirt

[incorrectda]

Hawke: Hey, you wanna take things up to the bedroom

Merrill: Sure, what’s up there

Hawke: By the way did you bring protection?

Merrill, slightly panicked: Why, what’s up there?

[incorrectda]

Leandra, before the expedition: You’re not going down there it’s too dangerous

Hawke: I eat danger for breakfast.

Hawke: I don’t, I prefer cereal. Or croissants. Or those little fried Antivan… Never mind it’s not important

[incorrectda]

Solas: Do you want the good tea or the bad tea?

Inquisitor: What’s the difference?

Solas: I call one good, one bad

Inquisitor: I’ll take the good one

Solas: Excellent. Positive attitude. Will help with the horror to come

Inquisitor: What horror?

Solas: Mainly the tea

[incorrectda]

Isabela: The docks are dangerous. It’s not the sort of place you want to visit alone at night

Carver: I’m actually pretty good at being alone at night

Hawke: nope that did not land right at all

[incorrectda]

Chancellor Roderick, about the inquisitor being the herald of Andraste: Why are you encouraging all this?

Cassandra: I wouldn’t say I’m encouraging it, I’m just open to the possibility.

Chancellor Roderick: Well I’m not. Not unless I see some cold, hard evidence.

Cassandra: And maybe it’s there. Proof at last, Cassandra. Proof at last.

[incorrectda]

Varric: I remember Cullen was being a dick

Cassandra: Varric!

Varric: I don’t like to use that word, Seeker, but it’s so hard to describe Cullen any other way because he’s just such a dick.

Mother Giselle: I don’t think you’re a dick, Cullen.

Cullen: Really?

Mother Giselle: Really. And you know who else doesn’t think you’re a dick? The Maker.

[incorrectda]

“wish people would shut up about the dimensional rift in the sky with demons pouring out of it and start talking about my cute outfit”

- Vivienne

[incorrectda]

Morrigan: Why don't you take off all that battle armor and slip into something a little more... comfortable?

Stem: I am most comfortable when I am impervious to most physical forms of attack.