Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems

[redstonedust]

its a cliche but im a slut for when a character is introduced as super chill and goofy and then you later find out theyre chill and goofy because theyre too powerful to be touched. the level 100 wizard whos already figured out everything and is just vibing now. big fan.

[teslacarbombs-deactivated202212]

im just fucking with you your honor

[anthropophagiaa-deactivated2026]

Girls always start dating the most awful man and start saying things like "he's my rock." Yesss girl, and you are Sisyphus. Have fun with that one.

[gsirvitor]

[wigmund]

[egberts]

please, call me dip. mr. shit was my father

[geyfrog]

Used to be Italian but now I’m just ian because she took it al in the divorce

[alleycatboy]

being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot

[b-0-ngripper]

[aromanticduck]

[Image description: a tweet that says 'its been a rough day', with a photograph of a person's hand holding a party blower like a cigarette.

End description]

[aromanticduck]

Mind if I join you on your smoke break?

[baddywronglegs]

Just popping out for a breath of fresh aaaaaaa

[eeriedann]

Dorothy is basically me every day of my life.

[mumblesplash]

[staggering to my feet and wiping a single perfect drip of blood from my mouth] i have to get back on my bullshit. no matter the cost

[dragon-png]

we ask that the defense not say "me when i lie" while the witness testifies

[jeanritchie]

she understood me tbh

[ace-robot-things]

Asgore’s entire character as a shitpost

[sharkodactyl]

moment of unspeakable beauty today when one of my coworkers called another coworker "judas" for not splitting a can of white monster with her, and i got to watch the guy who sits next to me open a new google tab, type in "jeudis," and say quietly to himself "french thursday...?"

[otherwindow]

Vampires today aren’t as bloodthirsty as they were centuries ago because the average modern human provides more nourishment than 5 sickly Victorian chimney sweepers combined. Woman who eats 3 square meals a day with dessert: are you okay? The vampire who bit her:

[intactics-deactivated20250505]

I like to be a little stupid recreationally

[herefore-art-thou-romeo]

For the dude who keeps implying that dying messed me up: let the record show that being a ghost is actually really fun and I was chilling with my dead homies that whole time