[incorrectlarryy]

Louis: Haz and I got into it last night. Bad enough that I told him to take what's his and leave.

Zayn: What did he do?

Louis: ...He picked me up and left.

[incorrectlarryy]

Louis: I always wonder how tall people like you manage to sleep at night when the blanket can't cover you from your head and shoulders.

Harry: It’s 3am

Louis: So you can’t sleep, huh?

Louis: Is it because of the blanket?

[incorrectlarryy]

Harry: Well, fuck me if I’m wrong—

Louis: You’re wrong

[incorrectlarryy]

Harry: We can’t go on a romantic date, we’re in the middle of a huge fight!

Louis: We are?

Harry: You didn’t KNOW?!

Louis: Nobody told me!

[incorrectlarryy]

Louis: Harry, can I ask you something?

Harry: Yes, I will marry you

Louis:

Louis: That’s not what I was going to ask

Harry: My answer has not changed

[incorrectlarryy]

Louis: You can’t make everyone like you. You’re not Harry.

Niall: What? Not everyone likes Harry.

Louis: Who doesn’t?

Niall: Well—

Louis: Names! I need names now!

[incorrectlarryy]

Louis: (whispering loudly) Harry, I think there's a monster under the bed, it's really ugly, can you take care of it?

Liam: (from the bottom bunk) I hate you guys so much

[incorrectlarryy]

Harry: Fist me

Louis: I- what the fuck

Harry: *holds out fist for fist bump*

Louis: Right. Of course that’s what you meant. Okay.

[incorrectlarryy]

Niall: Get kidnapped. You’ll find out who your real friends are. Trust me.

Liam: I just feel like there are probably steps you could take before that one.

[incorrectlarryy]

Harry: *banging his fists on the table*

Louis: Please stop doing that to your hands. How would you feel if I banged YOU on the table?

Harry:

Harry: Is that a trick question?

[incorrectlarryy]

Random stranger, to Louis: Hey there, you look a bit cold. I’m cold also, so why don’t we snuggle together to get warmer ;)

Harry, appearing behind them: If you’re so cold, I can set you on fire. that way you’ll be warm for the rest of your life.

[incorrectlarryy]

Kidnapper: We have your son

Louis: I don’t have a son

Kidnapper: But your name is ‘Daddy’ in his phone??

Louis: Oh my god, you have Harry

[incorrectlarryy]

Harry: You know me, I’m always horny for bread.

Zayn: ...Do you mean ‘excited’?

Louis: He really doesn’t.

[incorrectlarryy]

The Wanted: Welcome to the ‘Fuck Louis Tomlinson’ support group where everyone who’s been roasted by Louis gathers to say a collective ‘Fuck you!’ to Louis Tomlinson.

Naughty Boy: But before we begin, can we get a few words from our newest member?

Harry, noticeably sweating: So I may have misunderstood—

[incorrectlarryy]

Louis: Fuck capitalism, it's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.

Louis, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win, maybe you should have tried not being poor.

[incorrectlarryy]

Harry, being kidnapped: Will I need my toothbrush?

Kidnapper: Shut up

Harry: I‘m assuming that means you will be providing the toothbrush

[incorrectlarryy]

Louis: I have an amazing memory! Name one time I forgot something

Liam: You left me in that Walmart parking lot last week

Louis: I did that on purpose. Next