Incorrect Living When Dead Quotes

Completely accurate quotes from Living When Dead. Trust me, they totally said it. Honest.

[incorrectlivingwhendeadquotes]

Blaine: Are you in the mood for a quickie? Because I am.

Jeremoth: [Shocked] What?

Blaine: A quickie? You know, one of those tart things?

Jeremoth:

Jeremoth: It's pronounced quiche.

[incorrectlivingwhendeadquotes]

Jeremoth: You don't understand. I like Blaine, but I don't like Blaine.

Jeremoth: I have very positive feelings of attraction towards him,

Jeremoth: but I also kind of want to punch him in the arm.

[incorrectlivingwhendeadquotes]

I don’t want to feel this way. I reject this feeling. I respectfully decline this feeling.

Jeremoth (probably)

[incorrectlivingwhendeadquotes]

Jeremoth: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.

Esther: What if it bites me and it dies?

Jeremoth: That means you're poisonous.

Esther: What if it bites itself and I die?

Jenniflore: That's voodoo.

Esther: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Jeremoth: That's correlation, not causation.

Esther: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?

Blaine: That's kinky.

Jeremoth: Oh my god.

[incorrectlivingwhendeadquotes]

Blaine: [seductively lays on a table] Hey Jere- [table breaks]

[incorrectlivingwhendeadquotes]

Giselle: Fine! Then I guess we're husband and wife!

Jeremoth: On one condition- I GET TO BE THE HUSBAND.

[incorrectlivingwhendeadquotes]

Blaine: Hey J-

Jeremoth: If you're gonna say that you were always secretly gay for me, everyone's already assumed it.

[incorrectlivingwhendeadquotes]

Blaine: Remember that time you dared me to lick the swingset?

Jeremoth: No, I said, "Blaine, don't lick the swingset." Then you said, "Don't tell me what to do." And you licked it.

[incorrectlivingwhendeadquotes]

Jeremoth: Did it hurt?

Blaine: Did what hurt?

Jeremoth: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell?

[incorrectlivingwhendeadquotes]

Blaine: When have I ever done anything rash or irresponsible?

Jeremoth: I keep a list. It's alphabetized.

[incorrectlivingwhendeadquotes]

Jeremoth: You're smiling, what happened?

Jenniflore: Can't I just smile because I feel like it?

Esther: Blaine wiped out in the parking lot.

[incorrectlivingwhendeadquotes]

Jeremoth: ...

Jeremoth: ...

Jeremoth: Why are you in a fucking dress?

Blaine: Pride, Jeremoth. Pride.

[incorrectlivingwhendeadquotes]

Esther: My girlfriend is too tall for me to kiss her on the lips, what should I do?

One-Horned Demon: Punch her in the stomach, then when she leans over in pain, kiss her.

Jeremoth: Tackle her.

Blaine: Dump her.

Giselle: Kick her in the shin.

Jenniflore: NO TO ALL OF THOSE, JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN!

[incorrectlivingwhendeadquotes]

Blaine: I could kill you if I wanted to.

Jeremoth: Yeah? So could another demon.

Jeremoth: So could a dog.

Jeremoth: So could a really dedicated duck.

Jeremoth: You aren't special.

[incorrectlivingwhendeadquotes]

Blaine: I like your new pants.

Jeremoth: Thanks! They were 50% off!

Blaine: I'd like them better if they were 100% off.

Jeremoth: The store can't just give away clothes for free.

Blaine: That's not what I meant....

Jeremoth: That's a terrible way to run a business, Blaine.

[incorrectlivingwhendeadquotes]

Blaine: Why is there a spider on your head?

Jeremoth: I... don't know...

[incorrectlivingwhendeadquotes]

One-Horned Demon: I've created a zombie.

Blaine: (gesturing toward Kol) You've ruined a perfectly good doctor, is what you've done. Look at him. He's got anxiety.