Incorrect Mysterious Benedict Society Quotes

I follow the tag "incorrectmbsquotes". Feel free to submit quotes! You can also find me at my main account, addicted-to-nostalgia, or my other MBS blog, the-prisoners-dilemma.

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“The term ‘laws of science’ implies the existence of science crimes”.

-Mr. Benedict when he started investigating the Emergency

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Kate: Our hearts say yes.

Reynie: But Milligan says no.

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Sticky: Sorry, I lost my cool for a second.

Constance: Can’t lose what you never had.

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“Look, S.Q. is great, but he also doesn’t have a life plan. He doesn’t even have a day plan. I once found a note he wrote to himself that said ‘put on pants’ followed by a question mark”.

-Reynie

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Kate: If our group was taken by a flock of huge birds, what would happen?

Sticky:

Constance:

Reynie: What kind of question is that?

Kate: A hypothetical one. Just answer.

Reynie: Okay.... Well, they'd catch Sticky pretty easily, but probably return him after five minutes because... well... ya know

Sticky: Fair. Continue, I'm intrigued.

Reynie: Kate would be taken to the nest and acclimate with the family within hours. Within days she'd be like Tarzan, and within weeks, she'd be the Queen of the forest.

Kate: Obviously. And Reynie would befriend the baby birds and turn them to his side, then overtake the whole clan.

Reynie: Yep

Sticky: What about Constance?

Kate: Hmmm... I dunno. What do you think, Connie?

Constance: I'd kick them in the balls and run away. I won't be taken down by some stupid birds.

Sticky:

Reynie:

Sticky: I don't think birds have...

Kate: No, no, no. She's got the right idea.

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“If people would just stop constantly betraying me, it would cut the amount of time I spend on revenge in half”.

-Martina

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Mrs. Washington: We raised a perfectly well-functioning child.

Sticky: You had another one I didn’t know about?

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Constance: Dear tall people: If we are ever walking together, please take into consideration my tiny legs. I don’t want to be jogging to keep up with your leisurely stroll, you TITANS.

Kate: Just climb onto my back and hang on, we don’t have all day!

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Mr. Benedict: Success is the best revenge.

Mr. Curtain: Bullshit. Revenge is the best revenge.

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Constance: Am I made of atoms?

Sticky: Yes, everything is.

Constance: Are shadows?

Sticky:

Constance: Are dreams?

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Reynie: Constance, I need you to promise me that you'll be on your best behavior.

Constance: I promised other people I'd be on my worst behavior, and I gave my word, so...

Reynie: Wh-Who else do you talk to???

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Kate: I made a marshmallow Constance Contraire. See? Her arms are crossed because she’s mad at all of her marshmallow friends for annoying her. Do you like it?

Constance: *tearing up* It’s fine.

[striveonward]

Halloween@The Benedict House

Rhonda: What are you, darling? Where’s your costume?

Constance: This is my costume. I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everybody else.

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“Just because I’m lying, doesn’t mean it’s not true”.

-Mr. Curtain

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(Kate and Sticky reading)

Reynie: I am a cashier at a farmer’s market in Stonetown. We sell a huge variety of stuff, including fresh shrimp. Today a child walked by our shrimp cooler and started chanting,

Tai: Shrimp! Heaven! NOW!

Reynie: Emphasis on the “now”. Eventually leading his sister to say-

Constance: Please, Tai, we can’t keep doing this.

Reynie: What is Shrimp Heaven? Why does Tai need it now? What are my responsibilities in this situation, if any?

Kate (reading): “I’m confused and delighted by this sloganeering child, but I fear something darker may lay under the surface.” That’s from Sh- Shrimp Jesus Will Return…

Sticky (laughing): Shrimp! Heaven! NOW!

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Reynie: I have a bad feeling about this...

Kate: What do you mean?

Reynie: Don’t you get the little voice in your head that tells you if you’re going to get in trouble?

Kate: No?

Reynie: That explains a lot I guess.

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Constance: My goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough one day to surpass me.

Reynie: You cannot say that every time I beat you at chess.