Incorrect New Kid Quotes

For all your shitpost needs...

[incorrectnewkidsquotes]

Valya: what the hell is wrong with me
Brain: here’s a repressed memory that explains a lot of things
Valya: Well Lock It Back Up?? Did I Ask For All That????

[incorrectnewkidsquotes]

Leafy: you seem happy today. Did something good happen?

Valya: Can I not just be in a good mo- 

Theo: Phoenix tripped and fell in the parking lot.

[incorrectnewkidsquotes]

Theo: I have an idea.

Connor: A good one?

Theo: Let's not get ahead of ourselves here, Connor.

[incorrectnewkidsquotes]

Lipton: Dianna pretty much eats whatever you put in front of them.

Lipton: Remember that time that they ate a receipt?

[incorrectnewkidsquotes]

Leafy: Fight me!

Theo & Valya, standing behind Leafy and mouthing: Touch our cinnamon roll and we will destroy you.

[incorrectnewkidsquotes]

Connor: I really couldn't care less about what others think of me.

Also Connor, waking Arin up at 2am: Was I annoying today? I just really want to know.

[incorrectnewkidsquotes]

Dianna: I can't believe I'm single on Valentine's Day.

Lipton: Well, you know what they say-

Dianna: Lipton, no.

Lipton, holding up a bottle of vodka: Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka is cheaper than a dinner for two!

[incorrectnewkidsquotes]

Dovah: Are there any other threats to this town? Valya: Famine... Syphillis... Dovah: I mean threats that come on two legs, with weapons. Valya: Syphillis can come with legs. Theo: I was just about to point that out. Dovah: ...Why do both of you know that?

[incorrectnewkidsquotes]

Phoenix: I have made the decision to trust you.

Valya: A horrible decision, really.

[incorrectnewkidsquotes]

Evie: So, I grabbed a healthy breakfast. Valya: Are those gummy bears wrapped in a fruit roll-up? Evie: Breakfast burrito, but yeah. Valya: I pity your dentist. Evie: Joke's on you. I don't have a dentist.

[incorrectnewkidsquotes]

Leafy: Dude, I saw the biggest nerd sitting in your seat yesterday. Valya: That was me with my glasses on.

[incorrectnewkidsquotes]

Phoenix: I wasn’t hurt that badly. The doctor said that all the bleeding was internal. Phoenix: That’s were the blood is supposed to be.

[incorrectnewkidsquotes]

Valya: PHOENIX I SWEAR TO GOD I JUST SAW ONE OF THOSE UGLY ASS CLOWNS ON THE STREET Phoenix: Who put a mirror in the road?

[incorrectnewkidsquotes]

Peri: I wanna show you a picture from last night that really upset me Yves: okay, but in my defense, Valya bet me 50 cents that I couldn’t drink all that shampoo Peri: that’s not what I wanted to- Peri: you drank shampoo? what?

[incorrectnewkidsquotes]

Dovah, going monster hunting: Since you won’t be able to contact me for several hours I’ve left a complimentary bowl of advice Dovah: For instance, “Valya/Phoenix, stop doing that” just applies to everything

[incorrectnewkidsquotes]

therapist: so you said your childhood was satisfactory? Jesse: no, you misheard me, I said it was "sadness factory."

[incorrectnewkidsquotes]

Theo: You think I’m into Leafy and Valya? Connor: Yes, Theo, I do, because you are. Arin: You mentioned their names nine times in the last ten minutes. Theo: Nobody asked you, Arin.