Move I'm Gay

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Frank, who is not named Kyle: So I said to myself: Kyle-

Trager: Wait, Kyle?

Frank: That's what I call myself.

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Miles: Okay, all right, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like , was it like a soft brush against your lips? Or was it like a, you know, a "I gotta have you now" kind of thing?

Waylon: Well, at first it was really intense, you know. And then, oh, god, and then we just sort of sunk into it.

Blake: Okay, so, okay, was he holding you? Or was his hand like on your back?

Waylon: No, actually first they started on my waist. And then, they slid up, and then, they were in my hair.

Miles & Blake: Ohhhh.

[Meanwhile]

Eddie: And, uh, and then I kissed him.

Chris: Tongue?

Eddie: Yeah.

Chris: Cool.

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Miles: What are we doing?

Waylon: Wasting our lives.

Miles: I meant for lunch.

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Chris: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Walrider will and will not eat. Eddie: Grass? Yes! Chris: Moss? Yes!! Eddie: Leaves? Ohh, yes! Chris: Shoelaces? Strange but true! Eddie: Worms? Sometimes! Chris: Rocks? Usually nah. Eddie: Twigs? Usually! Chris: Frank's cooking? Inconclusive! Trager: How did you… test this? Chris: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it. Trager: ... I don’t know how to feel about this. Frank: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

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Walrider: What does 'take out' mean? Frank: Food. Chris: Dating Trager: Murder Eddie: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

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Chris: Favorite horror movie? Frank: It Walrider: Saw Trager: Annabelle Eddie: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

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Miles: Just be yourself. Eddie: 'Be myself'? Miles, I have one day to win Waylon over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me? Trager: Couple weeks. Chris: Six months. Frank: Jury’s still out. Eddie: See, Miles? Eddie: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

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Waylon: While I’m gone, Miles, you’re in charge. Miles: Yes!!! Waylon, whispering: Blake, you’re secretly in charge. Blake: Obviously.

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Waylon: That's not funny.

Eddie: I thought it was funny.

Waylon: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

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Trager: The results are in, I’m afraid you have updog…

Eddie: What’s updog?

Trager: Frank! Get in here, I told you I could do it!

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Miles: Hey, aren’t you Trager?

Trager: You a cop?

Miles: No.

Trager: Then yes, I am.

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Val: I like my men like I like my soul.

Blake: You don’t have a soul.

Val: Debatable, but rather the point.

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Miles: We either die free, or die trying!

Waylon: Are those the only choices?

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Blake: Who knew getting in trouble would be so impossible?

Waylon: I gotta give you credit, Miles. You make it look easy.

Miles: Years of practice.

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Waylon: You look mentally ill.

Miles: I am. Let’s go.

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Waylon: We’re not dating!

Eddie: Not with that attitude we’re not.

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Blake: So, according to my university, it is, quote, “my responsibility if there is an internet outage to contact the faculty and the department.”

Blake: Now, if you’re a critical thinker like me, you might be wondering one thing.

Blake: HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO EMAIL THE DEPARTMENT?!?!?!