Incorrect Penny Dreadful Quotes

London, 1892. Sort of. header courtesy of vangodh

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You're my boy. You're my number one boy.

Jared to Ethan

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*Malcolm whipping Fenton*

Fenton: Harder, Daddy

Malcolm: What?

Ethan: What?

Sembene: What?

Fenton: What?

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A human man? That was teenage years, baby. I’ve gone much further than that since then.

Vanessa

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Malcolm: It has come to my attention that you have been harassing Vanessa.

Evelyn Poole: I wouldn't say "harassing" so much as persistently tormenting.

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Ethan: I hate my life.

Sembene: I hate your life, too.

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You are a patronizing, sinister helicopter parent!

Vanessa to Malcolm

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Dr Seward: That man is a hurricane.

Vanessa (wistfully): He sure is.

Dr Seward:...Hurricanes are bad, Vanessa.

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Okay, I’ll be the leader, Sembene is my sidekick, Malcolm is the tough guy, Victor’s The Smart Guy, and, Vanessa, you’re the quiet religious guy who ends up going crazy.

Ethan

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Caliban: I've been keeping an eye on Lily.

Victor: You mean stalking her.

Caliban: The language of most stalking laws is pretty vague. I like to think of myself more as a guardian angel.

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Malcolm: I'm sorry Vanessa, she wins. I can't resist her.

Vanessa: God Malcolm, you have to!

Evelyn Poole: Stay out of this! This is our relationship. He's my man. And we have something twisted and beautiful. Oh...You want Malcolm. That's what this is all about.

Vanessa: No! That's insane! ...Fine, I had one dream. But no, no.

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If a man calls you ‘princess’ in a condescending manner, assert your newly appointed royal status and have him beheaded.

Justine

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Dr. Seward: Do you wanna talk about your feelings, Vanessa?

Vanessa: Nope.

Renfield: I do.

Dr. Seward: I know, Renfield.

Renfield: I'm sad.

Dr. Seward: I know, Renfield.

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Malcolm, after Vanessa's been possessed again or some shit: Forget it, I’m not even shocked anymore.

Vanessa: Aw, that’s no fun.

Malcolm: This has become the norm for you, Vanessa.

Vanessa: I’ll have to try harder next time.

Malcolm: Please don’t.

Vanessa: I feel like I’ve been issued a challenge.

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Ethan in the finale: Here's the plan: we go in, I start hitting people hard in the face, and see where that takes us.

Malcolm: No.

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Ethan: You’re pretty cute when you’re nice.

Vanessa: Well, what am I when I’m not nice?

Ethan: Hot as fuck.

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Ethan: Hey, are you okay?

Vanessa: Yeah, why?

Ethan: Because I heard you asked Victor earlier if damage repair shampoo works on emotions.

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Vanessa: Who would you rather kill, Victor or-

Ethan: Victor.

Vanessa: But I didn’t even say the other option-

Ethan: You didn’t need to.

Victor: I’m feeling the love right now.