My Apologies to Winston Graham

Some incorrect quotes from BBC's Poldark. Will contain some period inappropriate language. Please feel free to submit your own!

[incorrectpoldarkquotes]

Valentine: Papa, I have an imaginary girlfriend.

George: You can do better.

Valentine: Thank you, Papa.

George: I wasn't talking to you.

[incorrectpoldarkquotes]

George: Elizabeth, please revoke your 'no swearing' rule.

Elizabeth: Why?

Geoffrey Charles: *outside* Well, that just DILLS my PICKLE!

[incorrectpoldarkquotes]

"Great time to be a hater, many things suck and many people are stupid."

- George, summarising all of human history tbh

[incorrectpoldarkquotes]

"Bro there's nothing worse than when the jig is up."

- Ross, probably

[incorrectpoldarkquotes]

Woman: Elizabeth!

Elizabeth: Hello!

Woman: And George, you haven't changed a bit! And the boys! How are you?

Geoffrey Charles: Yeah, great.

Valentine: Can't complain

Woman: That's me back a week.

Elizabeth: And...and how are you finding it?

Woman: Oh, getting used to it! Well, I'd better be off. It was lovely to see you!

Geoffrey Charles: Who was that again?

Elizabeth: No idea.

George: Don't know her from Adam.

[incorrectpoldarkquotes]

Geoffrey Charles: Uncle George, can you give me some romantic advice?

George: Look, just because I married your mother doesn't mean I know how I did it.

[incorrectpoldarkquotes]

"Look, when I need your advice I'll give you the special signal, which is me being locked in a fucking lunatic asylum."

- Dwight, to Ross, probably

[incorrectpoldarkquotes]

"It's rotten work. Especially to me. Especially if it's you. I'll fucking do it but Christ alive."

- Dwight, probably

[incorrectpoldarkquotes]

"Ross Poldark is a muppet and I hope he dies of the incurable condition of being a little bitch."

- George

[incorrectpoldarkquotes]

Elizabeth: George, get the champagne!

George: The cheap stuff or the good stuff?

Elizabeth: The good stuff!

George: It's like 90p a gulp!

[incorrectpoldarkquotes]

"If you can't handle me at what you have mistakenly assumed is my worst, then prepare to be unpleasantly surprised in the immediate future."

- Ross

[incorrectpoldarkquotes]

"There's always some fucking laundry and dust and some other shit."

- Demelza, probably

[incorrectpoldarkquotes]

*looking at a dead body*

Dwight: Ross, I'm not a pathologist.

Ross: But you can still pronounce a myocardial infarction.

Dwight: I can pronounce "quinoa", but it doesn't mean he died of it!

[incorrectpoldarkquotes]

"I'm more than just a pretty face, I am also a terrible person."

- Ross

[incorrectpoldarkquotes]

"I tried cooking with wine, but after the third glass I forgot why I was in the kitchen."

- Demelza

[incorrectpoldarkquotes]

George: *isolates himself* Perfect! But why do I feel sad.

George: *socialises* Perfect! Now how do I get out of here.

[incorrectpoldarkquotes]

"If you can't handle me at my worst...Good luck, because that's all you're getting."

- Ross