we've never even heard of the adventure zone

"you haven't even opened your mouth yet, but i'm gonna tell you to shut the fuck up in advance" - thorney

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Vinca: Bad News - Quintas locked her keys inside her house. Vinca: Good News - We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith. Vinca: Bad News - Quintas finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress hot people. Vinca: Good News - A hot person saw me do it. Vinca: Bad News - It was Altævo, and since they’ve already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, they’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. They know.

submitted by: @sugarweregoingdownswinging

[byebyespaghetti]

okay but in a it’s always sunny au, light boy is most certainly dennis that’s something we all have to agree on

[byebyespaghetti]

vinca’s charlie, altie’s dee, thorney’s frank, and corinth is mac

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Lightboy, intoxicated by apples, pointing at Vinca: SHRIMP! HEAVEN! NOW!

Altaevo: please lightboy we can’t keep doing this

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tobias: one bonus of being a dad is grossly misusing modern slang on purpose and watching my daughter cry inside.

tobias: a fine example: the other day i pointed at a passing meteor and, while looking sunny right in the eye, went “man, is that bae or what, huh?” and the look on her face was something i will treasure for years.

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what's your main blog? :0

it’s @biheckual but i don’t really use it much anymore 

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Light Boy: You remind me of the ocean.

Thorney: Why the ocean?

Light Boy: Because you’re salty and you scare people.

(submitted by @synestheticvoid )

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altævo: we have a plan!

thorney: we also have the collective intelligence of a pineapple

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rachel: i started off by making a map of all the labyrinth related disappearances in osiris, which led me to this

rachel: points at a map covered in pins

rachel: osiris is so dangerous. no one should live here.

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excuse me, miss, have you seen my daughter? red hair, about this tall, clearly a lesbian but we haven't had the talk yet?

tobias, looking for sunny

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quintas: how much spaghetti have you eaten today?

thorney, surrounded by countless empty plates: now is not the time to talk about my personal flaws as an elf

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vinca: do you ever just see something that changes your life and you’re just huh.

altævo: i saw you.

vinca: honestly that’s so gay and sweet and it really makes this awkward because i was gonna show you a picture of a drawing of ryan reynolds as a turkey.

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light boy: i let mauve drink the bathtub water while i was in it

cupenda: once again, kinda weird, but not a sin

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thorney: i want you to stop saying odd shit. just stop.

[later]

thorney: you get any sleep last night?

quintas: i don’t sleep, i just dream.

thorney, with his head in his hands, crying: please...

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nice arm skin, asshole. you make it yourself? real fucking original.

quintas

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zip: important message! say tuna sub backwards.

lab: bus a-

lab: you have betrayed me for the last fucking time

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alex and lab, known laboratory gays

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light boy: the vinca i know isn’t fit to be responsible for anyone, including and especially himself. i once saw him drink an entire jar of marinara sauce for dinner. thorney, he opened up a new jar of marinara sauce and drank it like it was a thing normal people do. it was unholy. and then i asked him what the hell he was doing, and he said, and i quote, "it's basically a smoothie."