welcome to my swamp

im lauren from the land of bagged milk and i love you a lot ok? instagram: lauren_sil

[whoaa]

when one of your friends always goes by a certain nickname and you have to stop and think about what their real name actually is 

[tredlocity]

we all laugh at guy fieri, smash mouth and the shrek movie series, but we also all collectively agree that their existence makes the world a better place

[steakplissken]

The king laughs at the jester, but values his wit and honesty

[grungegoths]

Facebook ads : Here is an advertisement about 15% sale on fancy boots which ou were JUST thinking of buying yesterday and HERE is an advertisement about fancy curtains bc you were talking to your friend on your phone about you you need to replace your old ones :)  

Tumblr Ads : INVEST TODAY IN IGLOOS IN ANTRACTICA AND GET A PARKA FREE !! THESE Slugs ARE for you !! Buy them !! AMAZING ideas about things you can do with your old contact lenses after retirement !! Do you have an itch on your left nipple ?? HERE are some rare herbs available in russia which can INSTANTLY cure it !! 

[great-tweets]

[source]

[girl-sim-deactivated20230806-de]

FREE HIM

[girl-sim-deactivated20230806-de]

HE CAME BACK

[scumbagsblog]

Everything about this is so fucking funny. The song. The chubby dances. The way he just gets fucking KIDNAPPED. The presentation of the guy in the white shirt in the picture when he returns. This is my favorite post.

[tastefullyoffensive]

[browningtons-1-deactivated20150]

Babe im not grabbin ur boob im grabbin ur heart 

[zannibear]

thats my right boob tho

[browningtons-1-deactivated20150]

babe

[tonightweredrinkingfromthebong]

[studentlifeproblems]

[joshsundquist]

Restroom signs got me like

[trashtopus]

You keep your gender in your legs. If you loose or gain a leg, your gender changes.

[sonofashepherd12576]

gender is stored in the leg

[maryburgers]

[hatsuzuki-deactivated20211122]

[raychjackson]

[holycanid]

[10knotes]

Best answer ever

[spudsexuall]

My boyfriend talks in his sleep and because he’s bilingual, he says some hilarious/weird/sometimes creepy shit. I ask him every morning if he remembers saying this stuff and he has no idea about any of it. 

Here are some of my favorites:

-”Babe, can you please turn down the brightness of your skin” -After stealing all of the blankets: “This is my right as a human” -After I take the blankets back: “I don’t want your freedom, America. Just blanket” -Sometimes he just says “Hello?” as if he’s answering a phone call -One night he just said “Cabbage” which is weird because he doesn’t know the english word for that when he’s awake.  -After spooning me: “You have a nice butt” -”Who is that in the corner?” (terrifying) -”Watch out for the red lady” (even more terrifying) -Sometimes he will say things in German and it sounds like he’s speaking Parseltongue -One time I actually think he said something in Parseltongue -One time he talked about buying a ticket to “everywhere” and then just said “hello?” after two minutes of silence -And my all time favorite: ”This is MY yogurt, Satan”

[frogmunist-deactivated20190724]

I think that there are women

[tariqah]

Feminist icon

[fuckyeahragetoons]

blowing up bridges 

[shayminzzz]

its looks like sonic ran across that bridge

[lumberzach07]

[fedexpressionism]