incorrect renaissance quotes

"the trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" - niccolò machiavelli

[incorrectrenaissancequotes]

I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.

Dante Alighieri

[incorrectrenaissancequotes]

Simonetta Vespucci: Who ate my leftovers?

Lorenzo de’ Medici: Who ate my brother’s ass?

Simonette Vespucci: Fair.

[incorrectrenaissancequotes]

lucrezia: isabella, we were best friends since high school, except when you stopped talking to me because you thought your husband was into me.

lucrezia: …he was.

[incorrectrenaissancequotes]

“I’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me!”

— Lorenzo de Medici, after the Pazzi Conspiracy fails

[incorrectrenaissancequotes]

“Democracy is so overrated.”

—Dante Alighieri

[incorrectrenaissancequotes]

Lucrezia Borgia: Tell me you did not start that fire!

Cesare Borgia (at the same time): I did not start that fire!

[incorrectrenaissancequotes]

Niccolo Machiavelli: I am dazzled by your presence!

Cesare Borgia: Everyone is.

[renaissancesuggestion]

when u finally get to leave the priesthood and take up a military role

the old cesare can’t respond to your missive right now

why? ‘CAUSE HE’S DEAD

[incorrectrenaissancequotes]

One realm, one God, one king!

Dante, <i>Monarchia</i>

[incorrectrenaissancequotes]

Because it's a man's world. Because of the axis of dick.

Caterina Sforza

[incorrectrenaissancequotes]

Cesare Borgia: It's called a white flag, and you're gonna be waving it soon.

Caterina Sforza: THE ONLY THING I'LL BE WAVING IS YOUR DECAPITATED HEAD ON A STICK IN FRONT OF YOUR WEEPING MOTHER!

[incorrectrenaissancequotes]

Siri, why does God allow suffering?

Lucrezia Borgia

[incorrectrenaissancequotes]

Cesare Borgia: Sure, I'd love to see Juan get punched.

Rodrigo Borgia: Try again.

Cesare: I will stop Juan from getting punched.

[incorrectrenaissancequotes]

I may, for the first time, have been a bit of a jerk.

Cesare Borgia

[incorrectrenaissancequotes]

cesare borgia: from now on we will be using codenames. You can address me as Eagle one. cesare borgia: Sancia is “Been There Done That” cesare borgia: Lucrezia is “Currently Doing That” cesare borgia: Caterina Sforza is …“It Happened Once in a Dream” cesare borgia: Alessandro Farnese is “If I Had to Pick a Dude” cesare borgia: And Luigi D'Aragona is…Eagle two. luigi d'aragona: Oh thank god

[incorrectrenaissancequotes]

Niccolo Machiavelli: I'd like to request discretionary funds to start a citizen's militia.

The Signoria: *uproarious laughter*

Niccolo Machiavelli: They never actually said no, so I just went ahead and did it.

[incorrectrenaissancequotes]

Niccolo Machiavelli: And now for a message of hope.

Niccolo Machiavelli: EVERYTHING IS GARBAGE.