Incorrect Rivals Quotes

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[incorrectrivals]

Rupert: How come you've been abnormally nice to me lately?

Declan: What do you mean?

Rupert: You just seem nicer than usual.

Declan: I can punch you in the face if you want.

[incorrectrivals]

Rupert: If my wife thinks she can just bat her cute little eyes at me and get whatever she wants, she is absolutely right.

[incorrectrivals]

Tony: Do you ever get pre-annoyed? Like you already know someone is going to annoy you?

Monica: What? No.

[Rupert walks in]

Tony: [jaw clenches]

[incorrectrivals]

Cameron, watching the news: Some idiot tried to fight a squid at the aquarium.

Declan, covered in ink: Maybe the squid was being a dick.

[incorrectrivals]

Declan: This is our son, Patrick.

Maud: And these are our other children, Patrick’s sisters.

[incorrectrivals]

Lizzie: I expected better from you.

Rupert: Well, that was your fault, I’ve got nothing to do with that.

[incorrectrivals]

Taggie: Mummy, you know Daddy better than anyone. I'm sure you'll find the perfect gift.

Maud: And you're sure its not...

Taggie: It's not a tie.

Maud: okay.

[incorrectrivals]

Declan: We are screwed.

Freddie: Hey, no, I don't want to hear that defeatist attitude. I want to hear you upbeat.

Declan, with a mocking smile: We're screwed!

Rupert: There you go.

[incorrectrivals]

Tony: I feel like I have died and gone to heaven.

Rupert: I have that dream, too, but you go in the other direction.

[incorrectrivals]

Taggie: Are you trying to seduce me?

Rupert: Why, are you seducible?

[incorrectrivals]

Declan: How do people not swear??? Like where does their anger go?? How do they show their enthusiasm??? What if they stub their toe??? Like saying golly gosh isn't really going to cut it, Barbara.

[incorrectrivals]

Beattie: I trusted you!

Rupert: Why?

[incorrectrivals]

Caitlin: Is 4 a lot?

Taggie: Depends on the context. Berries? No. Murders? Yes.

[incorrectrivals]

Taggie: Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment...at all?

Henry: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.

[incorrectrivals]

Declan: Rupert, we tried things your way.

Rupert: No, we didn't.

Declan: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

[incorrectrivals]

Taggie: I have edge.

Cameron: You really don't. You are literally the most wide-eyed person I've ever seen. You have the face of a cartoon lamb.

[incorrectrivals]

Declan, answering the phone: Hello?

Rupert: It's Rupert.

Declan: What did he do this time?

Rupert: No, it's me, Rupert. It's actually me.

Declan: What did you do this time?