incorrect solby and co

idek

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sam and colby: are we going too far?

corey: no, no, no. you went too far about seven hours ago. now you're going to prison

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sam: you’re the love of my life and my best friend, i would do anything for you

colby: i want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule

sam: absolutely not

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colby: do you have any skeletons in your closet?

sam: you mean literally or figuratively?

colby: honestly, the fact that i have to specify...

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sam: colby and i are the best friends on this planet

jake: well that’s cute, cause corey and i are the best friends in all of existence, which includes your little crummy planet. corey and i finish each other’s-

corey: sentences!

colby: yeah? that all you do?

sam: because colby-

colby: -and i-

sam: -can read-

colby: -each other’s-

sam: -minds. ready? what am i thinking of? one, two, three-

sam and colby: PIZZA!

sam and colby: one, two, three, GHOSTS!

sam and colby: one, two, three, ELTON!

corey: yeah right. like we can’t do that

jake: we can’t

corey: one, two, three, RAINBOWS!

jake: can’t do it

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sam: maybe i die. skydiving explosion. and then you go and marry kat. and it makes me sad. but if she’s gonna be with somebody, i’d like it to be you.

colby: strange, but sweet.

sam: only i didn't really die. i was faking it. and i come back. i spy on you from my red corvette. and i'm planning to kick your ass, but i see how happy you make her. and i have to walk away. i have to. and i do. slowly. in a rainstorm.

jake: okay, this isn’t really in the spirit of what we’re trying to do.

sam: but as time goes by, it eats away at me. you're out living it up with my girlfriend. and i'm alone. in a cave. training.

corey: anyone else want to chime in?

sam: i thought you were my friend... i thOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!!

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tara: i am very small and i have no money, so you can imagine the amount of stress i’m under

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colby: elton, i hope i’m as cool as you in 50 years

elton: does he think i’m sixty?

sam: no, he’s just bad at math

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jake: this plan seems really complicated

sam: you once said that about oranges

jake: they don’t make sense. apples, you eat their clothes, but oranges, you don’t?

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jake: i lost tara

sam: how did you LOSE tara?

jake: to be fair, she is very small

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sam: i relate to belle because she loves books and likes people for who they are

colby: i relate to tinkerbell because she needs attention or she dies

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corey: you're not even listening to me

jake: no, i heard you. you said a bunch of words

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i’m not going to stand here and listen to you accuse me of things i clearly did.

- elton, probably

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jake: why would you ever want to run 26 miles?

sam: the same reason you stayed on the couch for the entire month of july

jake: ah, i get it

jake: a sense of accomplishment

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jake: is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad?

sam: malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated

colby: smad

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elton: you know those moments when i tell you something isn’t a good idea?

sam and colby: and then we ignore you? yeah

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sam: okay i’m going to need you to swear-

colby: fuck

sam:

sam: swear as in promise

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corey: can we go to a haunted house this year?

sam: what’s wrong with the one we live in?

corey: WHAT?!

sam: good night!