Incorrect Something Rotten Quotes

The title says it all.

[incorrectsomethingrottenquotes]

Will Shakespeare: Are you calling me a liar?

Nick Bottom: I ain't calling you a truther!

[incorrectsomethingrottenquotes]

A Something Rotten! shitpost

Nigel Bottom is pasta: Josh Spaghetti

Nigel Bottom feels bad about stuff he's done: Josh Regretti

Nigel Bottom is an angry mole from Animal Crossing: Josh Resetti

Nigel Bottom is cut into strips and tossed in the air: Josh Confetti

Nigel Bottom is the best Schmackary's cookie: Josh Funfetti

Nigel Bottom is a Flat White coffee: Josh Ristretti

Nigel Bottom is a location in Africa: Josh Serengeti

[incorrectsomethingrottenquotes]

I arrive in the Renaissance

Pants: puffy

Leather boots: pointy

Houses: Tudor

Mugs: pewter

Fonts on the printing press: fancy

Dick: not in my codpiece

I am forcibly removed from the Renaissance

[stuff-and-shenanigans]

*Chopped voice* So I’m looking into the future to see what the next big musical will be and I’m immediately thinking “tap-dancing eggs”

[incorrectsomethingrottenquotes]

Nick Bottom: Fuck Shakespeare.

Nigel Bottom: You would.

Nick Bottom: What?

Nigel Bottom: What?

[incorrectsomethingrottenquotes]

Nick Bottom: *reads all of Shakespeare's plays*

Nick Bottom: This dipshit definitely doesn’t have PHD’s in English. I’m a writer and just those few sentences you posted have shown you are literally incompetent and you don’t know and will never know what true literacy is because you have too much pride in yourself to admit when someone has actually put you in your place like you deserve. Go and take your “7gfs” and go f your self because those 7gfs aren’t real and any girl interested in someone like you is just as much of a piece of shit as you because they don’t have the self respect to tell this piece of shit to go f off because any man who claims to have SEVEN GIRLFRIENDS is the biggest piece of shit around because he has shown he has no respect for the female form. Now, seriously get off tumblr because all you’re doing is wasting data on the Internet thanks to you. You’re an absolute piece of shit guy and I really hope you go f yourself. Done.

[incorrectsomethingrottenquotes]

Nick: I’m Nick Bottom, and this is my acting troupe. I work here with my co-stars and my brother, Nigel Bottom. Everything in here has a story and a script. One thing I’ve learned after 21 years- You never know WHAT is gonna get stolen by Shakespeare.

[incorrectsomethingrottenquotes]

Nick, Nigel, Nostradamus, and Shakespeare camping:

Shakespeare: *pulls out harmonica* You guys, listen to this song I just wrote. It's called, "I Hate You Guys".

Shakespeare: I hate you guys. ♪ You guys are assholes ♪ Especially Nick ♪ I hate him the most ♪

[incorrectsomethingrottenquotes]

Heather Chandler: Let me hear you say "glorious"!

Students: Glorious!

Heather Chandler: Do you mean me?

Students: Glorious!

Heather Chandler: Well I can be!

[thespian-wallflower]

Nick Bottom: *ever so slightly glances in the general direction of the money box*

Bea Bottom: Fucking try it and I’ll shove this damn spoon up your ass, champ.

[incorrectsomethingrottenquotes]

Shakespeare: Are you ready?

Audience: *cheers*

Shakespeare: Booooo! You're gonna have to bring some ass to get some ass!

[thespian-wallflower]

Thomas Nostradamus: Let’s just say it’s a Saturday night and you wanna go out on the t-

Me: I’m gonna stop you right there because I never willingly leave the house.

[incorrectsomethingrottenquotes]

Nostra: "Ham...ham... ham something..."

Nick: "Hamilton!"

Nostra: "What?"

Nick: "What?"

[incorrectsomethingrottenquotes]

Vance Joy: Lady, running down to the riptide, take me away to the dark side, I wanna be your left hand man

Bea Bottom: excuse u? LET ME BE YOUR RIGHT HAND MAAAAAAAAAAN

[incorrectsomethingrottenquotes]

Andrew Jackson: The will of the people won't stand in my way!

Shakespeare: If you want to make it to the top then you're gonna have to go through me, because the top is where I live and I will not be giving up that easily. So there!

[incorrectsomethingrottenquotes]

Will: I am 36 years old, living in London. And this... is what being William Shakespeare means to me. *presses play on Walkman, Will Power starts playing*

[incorrectsomethingrottenquotes]

Will: I'm conducting a survey of the people I fuck. What excites you more - is it my arms that excite you or is it the heft of my codpiece?