Incorrect Stardew Valley Quotes

Totally true things the characters of Stardew Valley have probably said at some point

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Abigail: WELCOME TO PELICAN TOWN. WE’RE ALL CHILDREN OF YOBA. Sebastian: [doing something illegal behind Abigail] Abigail: KUMBAYA MY LORD.

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After Pierre kicks Morris out of Pelican town Pierre[about Morris]: *crying* He's gone. I miss him so much. Pierre: *composes himself* False. I do not miss him.

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Harvey walks into the Saloon like a tough guy Harvey: Tea, but the strong stuff. Leave the bag in.

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Lewis meets the Governor for the first time The Governor: You must be Mayor Lewis. Welcome! Lewis: *laughs* Lewis: *laughs* Lewis: My name just cam out of your mouth.

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Sebastian is trying to steal someone's phone and Sam caught him Sebastian: There is an adult picture of me on that phone! Sam: Adult? You mean, like, you're driving a car?

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Abigail: Shut up. Everybody, shut up! Don't move, don't speak, don't breathe. I'm trying to think. Sam, look the other way. You're putting me off. Sam: What, my face is?

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MC(blind) is out with Harvey MC: You know, I'm sure you're really really handsome. If I see you, you'd look like a leading man in the movies. Harvey: You really are blind.

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MC and Abigail are watching the sunset together

Abigail: Orange is such an awful color.

MC: You’re so beautiful when you hate the world.

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MC surprised Sebastian when he got home MC: Surprise! Sebastian: Oh, crap. Is it our anniversary? MC: No. Wait... No.

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Sam has a secret and won’t tell Sebastian

Sebastian: Tell me the secret.

Sam: Mom smokes in the car. Yoba is okay with it, but we can’t tell dad.

Sebastian:  Not that secret, the other secret.

Sam: I’M BATMAN!

Sam: Shhhhh!

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Spouse[after helping on the farm]: I hate your job.

MC: I love you.

Spouse: Stop trying to make me happy.

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Pam: I’m playing a new drinking game. It’s called 'Every Time I’m Depressed, I Take A Drink’.

Penny: That game exists. It’s called, ‘Alcoholism’.

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MC is trying to get passed Pierre trying not to be noticed

Pierre: You’ve been avoiding me, MC.

MC: How do you do that without turning around?

Pierre: To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you… but here we are.

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Lewis: Sam! I’ve been looking for you everywhere.

Sam: What a coincidence, Mayor. I have been avoiding you everywhere. *leaves*

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Dear rice pudding, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream, or be nothing.

MC

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Sam is waking up from a nightmare

Sam: Spiders. They want me to tap dance. I don’t wanna tap dance.

Sebastian: You tell those spiders, Sam.

Sam: Ahh yeah. I’ll tell them.

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Demetrius: What if your dope was on fire?

Sebastian: Impossible, sir. It’s in Harvey’s underwear.

Harvey: *stares*