teyvat but incorrect

genshin if hoyo was allowed to put swears in the game

[incorrectteyvatism]

Paimon [starting a kindergarten uprising]: The whole system is corrupt! Meow!

[incorrectteyvatism]

Itto: I'm a master of stealth.

Itto: [jumps through a window and shatters it, sets off three fire alarms, steps on somebody's foot and breaks eighteen plates]

Itto: You'll never see me coming.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Cyno: This is a DEMOCRACY, not a dictatorship.

Sethos: There are two of us, how could this possibly be a democracy.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Mona: So no matter how shallow and self-absorbed you pretend to be—

Fischl: Excuse me, there is no pretense here. I happen to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Dahlia: I want to apologize for everything I said. For what it's worth, I really like having you around.

Lohen: No, you don't.

Dahlia: I know. I have dreams where I throw holy water at your face and enjoy seeing it burn.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Flins: You have three wishes.

Linnea: I wish Lumi could talk.

Flins: That's a great wish. You still have three wishes, that one's on me.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Yun Jin: Everyone thinks I'm a "goody two-shoes," but I can be evil too!

Xinyan: Okay. What's the most evil thing you've done?

Yun Jin: Well not to brag, but I took the last cookie from the cookie jar.

Xinyan: How diabolical.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Gorou: The best part of an Oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting.

Kokomi: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. There is no such thing as a one-sided coin.

Gorou: Kokomi, it's a cookie.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Zibai: We need to talk.

Venti: What's wrong?

Zibai: Can we get Chinese food?

Venti: That's what you want to talk about?

Zibai: Yeah.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Jahoda: But I grew on you.

Nefer: Yes, like moss or toe fungus.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Tighnari: Everybody knows what they're doing?

Collei: Like, in general or the plan?

Tighnari: The plan.

Collei: Oh, phew.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Candace: This might be one of those problems that can't be solved with violence.

Dehya: Oh no.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Diluc: If you push buttons on a keyboard, letters will appear on the screen, and with that power you can do anything.

Venti: I think it was cruel to give Lightning McQueen a foot fetish as he lives in a world where all feet are wheels. He has nothing.

Diluc: Sorry I wasn't talking to you I think.

[incorrectteyvatism]

"I refuse to die until things are better and that is a threat."

—Baizhu, probably

[incorrectteyvatism]

Kachina: Did you lose your job because of me?

Xilonen: Nah, the manager's a vampire. And he wanted me to join his legion of the undead.

Kachina [quietly]: I knew it.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Nefer: People just don't disappear because you wish for them to.

Yelan: Yeah, obviously. Case in point, you're still here.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Hu Tao: Who's that?

Xiao: Traveler sending me selfies of them in their PJs.

Hu Tao: Oh my god, what did you say?

Xiao: "It's 4 pm and you're still in your PJs?"

Hu Tao: Useless. You are useless.