Incorrect 'The Good Place' Quotes

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Janet: Jason loves jacuzzis.

Jason: Sometimes I pretend I’ve been captured by witches and they’re using me to make human soup.

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Michael: Why are you two here?

Chidi: I'm here to help!

Eleanor: I'm here to make things worse!

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Chidi: Ah yes, my train of thought.

Chidi: Or as i like to call it, the anxiety express.

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Janet, to Michael: I organised your messages into three categories.

Janet: ‘From Shawn’, 'Death Threats’, and 'Death Threats From Shawn’.

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Chidi: Eleanor, why do you keep staring at me?

Eleanor: (quietly) You look pretty.

Chidi: What?

Eleanor: I said you look shitty Chidi! Goodnight!

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Eleanor: Later I’ll tell you about the time I stabbed the cop.

Chidi: Elanor!

Eleanor: WHAT? HE STABBED ME FIRST!

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Janet fighting off the demons to save the squad from being dragged to the bad place? ULTIMATE BADASS! I've never loved her more

i want her to kick my ass

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The source for "have you been yelled at by chidi yet?" "I'm not scared of him" "So that's a no" is from Mad Men, not Arrow. It's Don instead of Chidi so you can Google and verify yourself

okay thank you for letting me know!

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Tahani: So the glorified robot is coming with us?

Janet: I am glorious!

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Jason: It’s so annoying how Tahani is good at everything. There’s got to be SOMETHING he’s terrible at.

Chidi: Yeah. Maybe he’s a bad kisser or something.

Eleanor: No, she’s good at that too.

Chidi: What?

Jason: What?

Eleanor: What?

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Chidi: I am at a lost for words!

Eleanor: [narrating] Despite being lost for words, Chidi yelled at me for the next ten minutes.

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Michael, about the four humans: You don’t have all the facts.

The judge: Which are?

Michael: I love them.

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Chidi: Don’t break someone’s heart, they only have one.

Michael: Yeah, break their bones. They have 206 of those.

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Not a question, but I noticed that whenever Janet appears they never show her appearing, we just hear the noise and then the camera cuts back to her. It drives me insane.

i never noticed this fhasj

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Eleanor: You know what I’ve always wondered? How do tall people like you actually sleep at night when the blanket can’t possibly cover you from your shoulders to your toes?

Tahani: Eleanor, it’s 4 AM.

Eleanor: So you can’t sleep, huh?

Eleanor: …is it because of the blanket?

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Your quotes make me laugh so much, they're perfect!! Keep up the awesome work!

thank you so much 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

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Demon: We have your son.

Michael: I don’t have a son?

Demon: Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off his sandwich?

Michael: Holy fork, you have Jason.