Incorrect Unwind Quotes

Things that (should have been but) weren't said in the Unwind Dystology. Submissions open!

[incorrectunwind]

Lev: I don’t have to do this just because you’re telling me to.

Connor: Everything about our friendship so far says otherwise.

[incorrectunwind]

UnWholly

Lev: Do you want my help or not?

Miracolina: No!

Lev: Too late.

[incorrectunwind]

...that sounded straighter in my head.

Hayden, constantly

[incorrectunwind]

Bam: You know, Freud said that 90% of all human behavior is motivated by sexual impulses. But come on, you know, give me some credit. I’d say at least 30% of my behavior is motivated by advertising and the rest by violence in film.

Hayden: For me, it’s 98% getting my dad to love me, 2% chocolate.

[incorrectunwind]

Miracolina: Please, I’m begging you, let me die.

Lev: [wags finger like an Instagram makeup artist]

[incorrectunwind]

The fact that Head and Shoulders does't have a body was called Knees and Toes disappoints me almost as much as I disappoint my parents.

Hayden

[incorrectunwind]

Hayden: Did you see my underwear?

Connor: No.

Hayden [grabbing at his pants]: Did you want to?

[incorrectunwind]

Miracolina: There's literally nothing I love more than Lev—

Lev: Hey, Miracolina.

Miracolina: Lev, shut the fuck up, I'm trying to tell people how much I love you.

[incorrectunwind]

My body is very attracted to your body, but when you speak, my brain gets angry.

Risa, to Cam

[incorrectunwind]

Connor: You look depressed.

Hayden: Thanks, it’s the depression.

[incorrectunwind]

Lev: Feels like you’re being a little harsh.

Miracolina: Thanks, good note. I was going for extremely harsh, I’ll turn it up.

[incorrectunwind]

Risa: What’s your blood type?

Cam: How should I know?

Risa: How could you not know?

Cam: Who am I, Karl Landsteiner, discoverer of blood types?

[incorrectunwind]

You're going to have to try a little harder to insult me, I'm rarely paying attention.

Hayden

[incorrectunwind]

UnWholly

Miracolina: sorry I was late. I was… doing things.

Lev: [slams open the door, noticeably disheveled]

Lev: SHE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!

[incorrectunwind]

Kirk: I know you sneaked out last night, Connor.

Connor [thinking]: Play dumb!

Connor [out loud]: Who’s Connor?

[incorrectunwind]

My parole officer says I need more extracurriculars, and they said they won't let me back in the sewing club because apparently when I threaten someone with sewing needles, it's deemed ‘inappropriate’ and ‘I have to leave’.

Bam

[incorrectunwind]

Lev: Well, when I'm with a girl I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool or witty. Or at all. I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away.

Connor: It's not that bad.

Lev: No, it is. I think girls are more interested in a boy who can talk.