all the quotes we post originate from real people

We’re a couple of pals who like certain characters a lot and imagine them in certain situations where they say things we have heard other people (most notably, our friends) say.

[characterswouldsay]

“You can get whatever veggies you want, like bacon, sausage...” -Thor Odinson

[characterswouldsay]

“We are sitting here in a room full of internationally acclaimed scientists, politicians and environmental justice activists, and me? I have chocolate on my pants.” - Harleen Quinzel

[characterswouldsay]

“One day, I’ll be nipple-less for like, an hour.” - Rebecca Romijn’s Mystique

[characterswouldsay]

“I’ll just blow on your forehead!” -Wanda Maximoff

[characterswouldsay]

“I just convinced her to mail me a brain! MERRY CHRISTMAS!” - Sherlock Holmes

[characterswouldsay]

“Here I go, stealing girlfriends. I know how to loooove.” - Kurt Wagner

[characterswouldsay]

“If I saw that thing outside my window I’d shit myself in a second.” - Wade Wilson about Thanos’ chin

[characterswouldsay]

“Since my backpack quite literally exploded, I had to find a new one on short notice.

...[unveils to reveal a black backpack]...

Everyone, meet Melissa. He is very sensitive, so do not tease him.” - any Spider-Man

[characterswouldsay]

“You know, turtle weenies are abominations.” - Clint Barton

[characterswouldsay]

“Yeah, but you just said it right now.” - Lois Lane to Clark Kent about... something

[characterswouldsay]

“It is like Hitler and Stalin. Hitler was bad, Stalin was better, neither of them were good. This is Stalin school spaghetti.” - Tim Drake

[characterswouldsay]

“Yeet?” - Drax

[characterswouldsay]

“I HAVE A VISION.” - Wanda Maximof

[characterswouldsay]

“Well, uh, you gotta capitalize Chinese. You’re kind of swimming in a racial, political hotbed here…” - Clark Kent

[characterswouldsay]

“He called me a Romulan? I’m an otter! Respect my life choices.” - Tim Drake

[characterswouldsay]

“....and THAT’S why they think we’re lesbians.” - Wade Wilson

[characterswouldsay]

“When you talk to your pasta.” - Clint Barton