Dylan: Let's say, hypothetically, I got us into some major legal trouble with a powerful person. What would you do?
Cassidy: Well, I’d kill you. Hypothetically.
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@incorrectvirtusquotes
Dylan: Let's say, hypothetically, I got us into some major legal trouble with a powerful person. What would you do?
Cassidy: Well, I’d kill you. Hypothetically.
Cassidy: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Dylan: If I had a pound for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 pence
Cassidy: If I had a pound for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
Samantha: Actually I did the math, Dylan would have ÂŁ225, not ÂŁ0.15.
Dylan: Fam I’m right here....
Luis: If I had a pound I would buy a can of soda :)
Cassidy: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Luis: Sorry I only have a pound
Cassidy: :(
Samantha: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Dylan would have ÂŁ22,500 because it's a pound for every pixel, not a pence
Luis: If I had ÂŁ22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Samantha: You can buy anything you want with ÂŁ22,500
Mason: Yeah and he wants soda and apply juice
Samantha: Apply juice to what
Jake: Directly to the forehead
Dylan: Great chat everyone
Dylan: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running?
Izabella: Oh, I’m always running
Izabella: The question is from what
Cassidy: You’re important to me.
Dylan: What? No.
Cassidy: Really? You think I’d go through all this for someone I didn’t care about?
Cassidy: Wait, Jake kissed you, and you said “thank you”?
Dylan, still mortified: Yes.
Cassidy: Well. That was very polite.
Dylan:Â What's this?
Samantha, hugging Dylan:Â Affection!
Dylan:Â Disgusting.
Dylan:Â ...Do it again.
Luis: I’m in love with you.
Samantha:Â We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.
Luis:Â I know.
Samantha:Â Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-
Luis walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled:Â Samantha, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.
Samantha, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)
Luis walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled:Â Samantha, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.
Samantha, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)
Cassidy:Â Hey, Mason, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?
Mason:Â What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.
Cassidy:Â No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?
Mason:Â Can't really say I have.
Cassidy:Â You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.
Mason:Â Sorry, Cassidy. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.
Mason: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.
Cassidy:Â Wow. She sounds stupid.
Mason: But she's not. She’s really smart actually. Just dense.
Cassidy: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”
Mason: I guess you’re right. Hey Cassidy, I love you.
Cassidy:Â See! Just say that!
Mason:Â Holy fucking shit.
Cassidy:Â If that flies over their head then, sorry Mason, but she's too dumb for you.
Mason:Â Cassidy.
Cassidy: 'Person of interest' is almost too flattering.
Cassidy: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'A man has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'
Cassidy: How petty can you get?
Dylan: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.
Cassidy: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?
Dylan: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.
Samantha: Three of us saw it, Dylan. How do you explain that?
Dylan: *points at Samantha* Sleep deprivation. *points at Luis* Paranoia. *points at Mason* Delusional personality disorder.
Cassidy: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Dylan: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Samantha: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Luis: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Jake: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Mason:
Mason: I have emotional scars.
Cassidy: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.
Dylan: What if it bites me and it dies!?
Samantha: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Dylan, learn to listen.
Luis: What if it bites itself and I die?
Mason: That’s voodoo.
Jake: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Dylan: That’s correlation, not causation.
Luis: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?
Mason: That’s kinky.
Cassidy: Oh my God.
Cassidy: Croissants: dropped
Dylan: Road: works ahead
Samantha: BBQ sauce: on my titties
Luis: Shavacado: fre
Jake: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead
Mason:
Mason, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.