Incorrect Vampire the Masquerade Quotes

Totally correct (probably) quotes from a wide array of kindred.

[incorrectvtm]

Ventrue: You tricked me!

Tremere: No, I deceived you. ‘Tricked’ makes it seem like we have a positive relationship.

[incorrectvtm]

Toreador: So that's when I thought to myself, "Don't think, Toreador. Act!"

Gangrel: So you weren't thinking.

Toreador: Not at all. I cannot emphasize enough how little I was thinking.

[incorrectvtm]

Brujah:  So, talk to me, Toreador. How are we looking?

Toreador: Sexy, but not like we’re trying too hard. Like, sure, we’re trying, but it’s almost effortless.

[incorrectvtm]

Nosferatu: i have a bad feeling about this

Brujah: what do you mean?

Nosferatu: don’t you get that little voice in your head telling you something could go wrong

Brujah: no??

Nosferatu: well that explains a lot

[incorrectvtm]

Brujah:I mean, who even made you leader in the first place?

Ventrue: I did. It was my first action as a leader.

[incorrectvtm]

Brujah: *taps pen*

Nosferatu: *taps pen in response*

Ventrue: Stop that.

Brujah: Stop what?

Ventrue: You’re talking about me in Morse code.

Nosferatu: Yes, that’s what we’re doing. In our very limited free time, we took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you.

[Later]

Brujah, to Gangrel: That’s exactly what we did.

[incorrectvtm]

Brujah: We can't lose because we have this *points at their chest*

Gangrel: We have heart?

Brujah: Heart? No! Me! I'm pointing at myself. I'm going to win this for us.

[incorrectvtm]

Toreador: Ventrue, I’m gay.

Ventrue: Yes Toreador, I know. That’s how you end every phonecall.

[incorrectvtm]

Malkavian: I hate feeling ostrich-sized.

Nosferatu: What?

Malkavian: You know, like a freaky outsider. The way an ostrich feels around regular birds.

Gangrel: Oh my god.

[incorrectvtm]

Toreador: The only thing I’m not good at is modesty.

Toreador: Because I’m GREAT at it!

[incorrectvtm]

Nosferatu:Tremere! I thought I heard your cloven hooves

Tremere: Calling me the devil? That’s original.

Nosferatu: Actually I was calling you a goat.

[incorrectvtm]

Malkavian: Music is just wiggling air.

Gangrel: Don’t do this. Don’t do this to me today.

[incorrectvtm]

Tzimisce: Lasombra, stop lurking.

Lasombra: I’m not lurking. I’m standing quietly in the shadows.

[incorrectvtm]

Toreador: I just have hope okay..? Is that so wrong?

Malkavian: The fact that you have ANY hope left in your life is your most admirable quality.

Toreador: Aww thanks!

Ventrue: Toreador for the love of god, DON’T, THANK THEM.

[incorrectvtm]

Tremere:  Help me!

Gangrel: I'm not helping you.

Tremere: Why not? Is this because I once betrayed you?

Gangrel: Yes! It was our last interaction!

[incorrectvtm]

Ventrue:  My first rule is no one can veto my rules.

Brujah: That’s called tyranny and is generally frowned upon.

[incorrectvtm]

Tremere: that’s what im here for, to deliver unpleasant news and witty one liners.