incorrect wet hot american summer

ej // main blog: gobbeecompany

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Victor: I like Abby’s nails.

Neil: Okay, be more specific.

Victor: I like her finger nails.

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Susie: You know, everyone knows. You capture a leprechaun, you get three wishes, right? So we gotta think very carefully what our next two are here.

Ben: I wish I could live forever!

Susie: What are you doing? I wish you don't! How about that?

Ben: No! NO! Why did you do that?!

Susie: Why did YOU do that?

Ben: Why didn't you say "I wish I could live forever"?

Susie: And live forever with YOU?!

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Andy: My genius will not be denied! I'm like Mozart! You're like that guy who was always jealous of Mozart.

Deegs: Salieri?

Andy: No thank you. I already ate.

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Neil: Vic, this reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole through your head. You remember that?

Victor: That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me.

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Andy: Should I take my shirt off?

Coop: No, no one asked you to take your shirt off. Stop volunteering to take your shirt off.

Andy: Can’t hear you, shirt’s over my ears.

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Susie: This is worse than that time you dared me to lick the swing set.

Ben: I didn’t dare you to lick the swing set. I said, “Susie, don’t lick the swing set. You said, “don’t tell me what to do,” and licked the swing set.

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Victor: I need dating advice.

McKinley: Just because I’m married doesn’t mean I know how I did it!

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McKinley, on a hike: Man, it’s such a beautiful day. I love Mother Nature.

Andy, out of breath: MOTHER NATURE’S A WHORE

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Victor: So what happened to that guy you were dating?

Abby: I dumped him. He was too emotionally stable, and it was getting annoying.

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Beth, to the counselors: There’s a bunch of really efficient people somewhere, who aren’t driving me fucking crazy.

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Ben: Now, Susie, let me handle this. These are my people.

Susie: They're gay?

Ben: No, you bleeding imbecile. They have style, they're cultured, they're sophisticated.

Susie: So, they're gay.

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Victor: Excuse me, Abby.

Abby: Yes, what is it, Victor?

Victor: I would like to extend to you, an invitation to the Pants Party.

Abby: Excuse me?

Victor: The party, the pants, party with the pants?

Abby: Vic, are you saying that there is a party in your pants and that I'm invited?

Victor: That's it.

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Victor: The only unthinkable thing is that anything is unthinkable.

Neil: Victor majored in fortune cookies.

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Ben: If you rearrange the letters of Peru you can spell Europe.

Susie: That's... that's not true.

Ben: Well, you have to rearrange them.

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Katie: Are you drunk?

Coop: Only on adventure.

Coop: And gin. And vodka. And bourbon. And gin.

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Beth: I'd like everybody's attention. Christmas is cancelled.

Victor: You can't cancel a holiday.

Beth: Keep it up, Victor, and you'll lose New Year’s.

Victor: What does that mean?

Beth: Greg, take New Year's away from Victor.

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Beth: Well, Andy, I can't make you talk. But you know what I can do?

Andy:

Beth: Okay, I can't trick you into talking either.