the witchlands

it definitely happened this way in the books. the witchlands is a young adult fantasy series by susan dennard.

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Merik: Feels like you're being a little harsh.

Vivia: Thanks, good note. I was going for extremely harsh; I'll turn it up.

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If I had a dollar for every person I couldn’t hang out with because they’re afraid of Aeduan, I’d be rich. Like fill my gas tank up all the way rich.

Iseult

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You should listen to me! I came up with hundreds of plans in my life and only one of them got me killed!

Kullen

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Aeduan: Sure, I'll kill him.

Henrik: How much?

Aeduan: Thirty.

Henrik: Thirty grand?

Aeduan: *spits out drink*

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Merik: Do you think that maybe you’re feeling, I don’t know, a little guilty?

Vivia: What's guilty?

Merik: Oh, um, when you feel bad about what you’ve done.

Vivia: That’s not a thing! I’m wasting my time talking to you!

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Iseult: I got a package from Gretchya.

Safi: What is it?

Iseult: It's heavy. Must be her disappointment in me.

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Vivia: Yeah, and we're not interested in your sour grapes, okay?

Merik: Cam, tell her where she can stick her grapes!

Cam: In the fridge.

Merik: No, Cam.

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Merik: Sometimes when we disagree you’re so passionate I feel like I’m arguing with the sun.

Safi: What?! That is totally crazy! I’m super chill all the time!

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Cam: I'm too tough to cry.

Merik: Just the other day you were crying about snakes.

Cam: They don't have any arms!

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Hello, Linday. It’s always good to see the most left-swiped face on Tinder.

Vivia

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Iseult: How do you sleep at night?!

Aeduan: Alone. On very comfortable sheets.

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Leopold: What's your greatest weakness?

Aeduan: I'm vague.

Leopold: Can you elaborate?

Aeduan: Yeah.

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Of course we can pull it off. There’s nothing we can’t do if we work hard, never sleep, and shirk all other responsibilities in our lives.

Merik

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Safi: Aeduan, we just pulled the funniest--

Aeduan: I don't want to know.

Safi: But really--

Aeduan: Don't care.

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Safi: My best friend is a Nomasti.

Iseult: Who's your best friend?

Safi: You are.

Iseult: I know, I just wanted to hear you say it.

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Cam: You're coming across as distinctly paranoid.

Merik: Everyone keeps saying that. It's like a conspiracy.

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Merik: I'm cold.

Safi: Here, take my jacket.

Aeduan: I'm cold too.

Iseult: Well, damn, Aeduan, I can't control the weather.